RETURN OF THE GOLDEN GOOSE

by Some Sort of Dog

Chapter 18:- Welcome Home, Mum!

"What are you laughing at, you horny little toad?"

"When I looked in your bedroom and saw you with that bloody lot in your mouth ..."

"Not just in my mouth! It was down my bloody throat!"

"That lot down your throat, then. I shut the door and all Adie could talk about was his Granny's favourite cure for sore throats! I was nearly cracking up, trying not to laugh. But then I thought about you doing that to Trigger..."

"His name's Robbie!"

"You're blushing, Lynnie!"

"I'm not!"

"You doing that with him. God, I nearly came in my pants. In fact, I'm not sure I didn't."

"I'm sure you did, knowing you. What did you do?"

"I nearly dragged him into my room and got him sat down with his arm round me, and I couldn't hold back any longer. I said I wanted to feel him inside me!"

"You what?"

"And what's he do? He starts shouting for bloody Trigger!"

"Lucky he never heard him."

"No, he wouldn't. I climbed on top of Adie and stopped him shouting anything. God, I feel so ashamed! I was so horny! I'm wet through now, just remembering it."

"I can smell you from here, Donna, dear."

Donna pulled a rude face at her friend.

"So what did you do?"

"I fucked him," Donna gloated, but still blushing scarlet. "I fucked him absolutely rotten. I was like a wild animal. An absolute disgrace! The poor lad must have wondered what was happening to him. Perhaps that's why he lasted so long: he was in shock!"

"How long?"

"Nearly ten minutes! The first time, at least."

"Then what?"

"Then we mopped up the mess on the floor."

"Donna! You were as wet as that?"

"No, I mean the kitchen floor. He sucked it all up with his thing, and mended the washing machine. Hee-he! We had to empty it out, all the clothes and stuff. And he got hold of one of your bras, and he said was it mine, and I said, no, mine are miles bigger than that, and that was yours, and he nearly flipped, so I had to fuck him again right there on the kitchen floor. He was pretty good, Lyn!"

Donna's hands slipped out of sight into her lap.

"So was Robbie!" Lynda had a dreamy expression on her lovely face.

"You mean, you...?"

"Donna, how could you suggest such a thing? I'm only fifteen!"

"So, you...?"

"I told him I was eighteen! He thought I was twenty-five. Cheeky sod!"

"What are you laughing at?"

"This double date we've arranged. There's Robbie and me, and he comes up to my shoulder, and there's you and Adie, and he's way up there somewhere! We ought to swap, really."

"No, Adie's just right for me, thanks. I don't think I could manage Trigger. I'm only little."

"You'd be surprised what you could manage when you really put your mind to it, lover!"

"I'll leave him to you. My Adie's all right. He even helped dry out the carpet in the hall. With Mrs Danby coming tomorrow, and Mum coming home the day after, I was starting to get worried. This little double date tonight is about our last chance to get well and truly laid this holiday."

"I'm getting worried about you, Don."

"I'm getting worried about me, too, but as long as I'm still getting it, I don't mind."

"What are we going to do, Don?" Lynda looked apprehensive.

"Do? On the date, you mean?"

"Yeah, I've never really had a date before. Not to go out or anything. All I've ever done is have sex. What do we do first?"

"We'll go out in the car, maybe go to the pictures, have a drink, a Ruby Murray, then come home."

"Is that it?"

"Lynda. Read my lips. We'll go out in the car, maybe go to the pictures, have a drink, a Ruby Murray, then come home and get absolutely screwed to a frazzle. Forty-seven times."

"I knew you'd forgotten something."

"I never forget anything. We've got an hour before we have to get ready to go out. I'm really horny. Couldn't we go to bed for a while?"

"I'd really like to, Don, but I've got a bit of a sore throat."

"All right, what were you two doing last night?"

"We had a date. With some boys." Donna lowered her eyes.

"Boys? You're versatile, then!" Mrs Danby lugged the Super Bertha into the kitchen. "Nice to see you're keeping this floor clean while your mum's away. Right, who's first?"

"I'm the same size, Mrs Danby," said Lynda. "All I want is those new blouses you were going to make me."

"You could have taken these the other day, but you were too busy being rude with young Lucy! So it's just you, Donna? Your first ride on the Super Bertha."

"I think I've been growing again, Mrs D."

"I can see that from here, girl. Get your T-shirt off and let's have a look at you." Mrs Danby watched in silence, then whistled. "Oh, my goodness me, child! You can't blame your mum's cooking for all that lot. Keep your bra on until you're on the machine. Come on, Lynnie, make yourself useful. This Super Bertha still needs an assistant operator. Rick's designing a Mark 2 version, but it will be a few weeks yet."

It took them ten minutes to get Donna installed and hoisted to the horizontal.

"This is going to earn your long-suffering mother a few extra quid a month," said Mrs Danby, pausing after her lengthy tour of inspection round Donna. I'll just check your other numbers. Hmm. Hmm-mm. No change there. Now for the big one."

She busied herself, humming a little tune. The tune stopped abruptly. "My God, Donna! You are really going to have to do something about all this!"

"You're looking very fit, dear! Rosy cheeks and a well-scrubbed innocence about you. What are you hiding, dear daughter?" Laura held her arms out to Donna and gave her a huge hug. "God, is that all you in there? I think we're going to be able to order a new car."

"Mrs Danby came yesterday. I'll be getting my new bras on Wednesday."

"Okay. How much bigger?"

"Another hundred pounds a month. But it's not as simple as that," she hurried on, "she's using a new measuring machine ..."

"Super Bertha," Lynda put in.

"And it comes up with a bigger size. So I'm not really ten inches bigger. Well, I am, but it's not as bad as it sounds."

"Ten inches! In two weeks? Oh, Donna!" Laura flushed and bit her lip. "Donna!"

"Sorry, Mum!"

"That must mean you're more than a hundred inches! Oh, Donna!"

"A hundred and six, Mum! But we haven't been eating all that much."

"Something's causing it!" Laura linked arms with her daughter, and offered her other arm to Lynda. "I swear Lynnie's grown as well. You're miles bigger than when I saw you last."

"I am, Mrs Fielding. Not as much as Donna, though."

They had arrived at the car. "Does Maggie know about all this ... this?" Laura pointed at Donna's bust.

"We saw her the other day, but I've grown since then. Hey, have you heard about Maggie? And Kay?"

They shut the car doors and Donna started the engine.

"Kay from the magazine? What about them?"

"They were on telly. On the news. Three times. Kay was arrested for flashing!"

"Don't say things like that, darling, it's not nice!"

"It's true!"

"It is, Mrs Fielding, we recorded it."

"Flashing? Kay?"

"On her honeymoon. She married Mrs Danby's son, Rick. And she went out on the balcony of the hotel and lobbed her tits out. This great big crowd gathered, and the Law came and arrested her."

"Well! I always thought Kay had a bit of the devil in her, to judge by her photos, but flashing!"

"Twice, though, Mum. Apparently, they tried again with another honeymoon up North, and they got arrested again for swimming in a pond up a mountain. And Maggie went to help them, and she was naked in the hotel corridor, and this camera crew came round the corner and filmed her. So she was on telly as well."

"Poor old Maggie! What happened?"

"Dunno. It was on the news, but that's all. But that's not all. You know Charlotte?"

"Charlotte thingie-whatsit-hyphen-thingie?"

"That's her. Her chauffeur, Maxwell ..."

"Shorthouse Maxwell," said Lynda.

"He got arrested for raping her scullery maid."

"Young Lucy," said Lynda.

"Only he wasn't, they were just having it away in Charlotte's car, but young Lucy ran away. Anyway, she was at the police station and she took her jacket off and flashed her tits and the copper didn't believe her."

"They're huge, Mrs Fielding."

"And she was on a video, having a wank!"

"Donna!"

"It means she was playing with herself, Mrs Fielding."

"I know what wanking means, Lynda."

"Rubbing herself against the corner of the table."

"Thank you, Lynda."

"With her tits bouncing up and down and round and round in circles, and her nipples getting longer and longer and ..."

"Lynda! Stop it!"

"She was, Mum. We've got that on video, as well."

"You've been having quite a fun time," said Laura grimly.

"Not too bad," Donna said, after a few moments' reflection.

"No wild parties, then?" Laura seemed relieved.

"Ask her about Hairy Jacqui," Lynda muttered under her breath.

Donna broke in loudly. "I told you we don't do things like that. We had a date a couple of nights ago. A double date. We're going out again tomorrow night."

"Double date, huh? Romantic little monkeys. Anyone we know?"

"I'm going with Adrian Buckmaster." Donna blushed and opened her window a little to cool down.

"Adrian. He's that nice boy from Buckmaster's. He's enormously tall, though. How did you meet up with him?"

"Oh, we just sort of bumped into each other."

"Lucky you. What about Lynda?"

"I'm seeing Robbie Wainthorp!"

"Robbie ...? What? Not Trigger Wainthorp, the window cleaner?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, n-nothing. He's quite nice. Funny, Donna's got the enormously tall one, and you've got the ... I mean ... I suppose you just bumped into him, as well?"

"Sort of!"

"Yeah, Mum. In fact, he was very good. He helped Lynda get over her sore throat!"

Donna was too busy watching the road to notice her mother looking at her with one of her most old-fashioned expressions.

"What did you tell her that for, Don? I nearly died."

"It was true. He was very good. You said so. And he did cure your sore throat. If you'd swallowed much more of him, he'd have cured your bunions as well."

"Don?"

"Yeah?"

"You reckon your mum's been seeing my Robbie?"

"Trigger? My mum?"

"She went very quiet when I mentioned him. And he did seem to act a bit familiar until he realised I wasn't your mum."

"But Mum wouldn't do that! With the window cleaner!"

"I did. And you did it with the handyman's son."

"But Mum, though!"

"She's young enough. Not like my mum. She's an old crone. Your mum's gorgeous. How old is she, anyway?"

"Thirty-two."

"Well, there you are then. Thirty-two's a bit ancient, but it shows she was only fifteen when she got pregnant with you. So she knows what it's for."

Donna went quiet. "I think I'll go to bed," she said after a while. She stood up. "Goodnight."

"Night. Sorry, Don."

"What for?"

"About your mum. I didn't mean anything."

"Hello, sweet! I thought you'd gone to bed ages ago."

"No, I've been talking to Lynda. Does she have to go home straight away now you're back?"

"Not if you want her to stay and if she wants to stay. She's not much trouble, and she's company for you, too." Laura glanced up. "Or maybe more than just company?"

Donna nodded. "I don't want her to go, Mum."

"I'll talk to her mother, if you like, but I can't imagine her objecting. Donna? Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Donna coloured immediately. "What about?"

"Anything. Boys, perhaps? Or you and Lynnie? Come here and sit down. I wasn't watching this rubbish show anyway." She turned off the television.

Donna was finding herself coming out and saying things these last couple of days. "We're lovers, Mum. You knew?"

"It didn't take much guessing. When did it start? Last summer? You should have said."

"I didn't know what you'd say. Are you ... do you mind?"

"So long as you're happy, love. And you can always come to me, any time. How's it going between you two, anyway?"

"Great, most of the time. She's funny, and she makes me laugh. Sometimes she's like a kid, then there's other times she's a great big grown-up woman. We have rows now and again, but it's fun making up afterwards."

"That's the best part. Making it up afterwards."

"There is something else, though. You know how I've been getting so much bigger this year? Especially this month? I seem to be getting more ... well, horny, I suppose. Is that the word?"

"Sounds a good enough word to me, love. In fact, it sounds excellent. How horny have you been getting?"

"Well, when Lynnie first came down, we spent the whole weekend in bed." Donna couldn't look at her mother, she stared at her fingernails. "We were really terrible!"

"The whole weekend? When did you eat?"

Donna couldn't help giggling lewdly. "All the time, when we weren't just cuddling and snogging." She was silent for a long while, then she plucked up courage. "Have you done it with girls, Mum? Is there something wrong with me?"

"Of course there's nothing wrong. Lots of women are bisexual. More than you'd ever think. You like boys as well, don't you? I've never done it with a girl, no, but I probably would, if the moment was right."

"But I'm only seventeen: surely I shouldn't be bisexual at my age!"

"What's your age got to do with anything? Look, you were a virgin until last August? And you made love to Lynda and James more or less at the same time?"

Donna looked up sharply at her mother. She had remembered the boy's name, even after all this time!

"I was thinking how good you'd been, staying pure until you'd reached sixteen, especially with your figure! God, girl, I'd shagged every boy in the whole school before my fourteenth birthday!"

"Mum!"

"It's true! I was the village bicycle. I was lucky I didn't get pregnant until I had you, and even luckier it was your dad who was your father!" There were tears in her eyes and she took Donna's hand and held it tight. "So why shouldn't you enjoy sex, especially if you take after me?"

"It's not just enjoying it I'm worried about. It's getting like an obsession. You know Adie? You know how I bumped into him?"

Laura wriggled comfortably in her seat. "Confession time! Go on, love!"

Donna chewed her lip, then came out with it. "The washing machine flooded the kitchen. I called Buckmaster's ..."

"Good girl, I always call Bert Buckmaster when that happens."

"It's happened before?"

"Shit, it happens all the time! I wondered how you'd got the kitchen floor so clean. So, you called Bert, and he wasn't in?"

"That's right. Adie was, and he told me about the stop thing under the sink. But I couldn't turn it off. I had to hit it with the fire extinguisher, and that loosened it, but then the fire extinguisher went off and covered me with powder, so I threw it away and it went through the window. So I went and fetched Adie in the car. I was covered in water and dust and stuff. I left Lynda in bed, 'cos she had a sore throat."

Laura was grinning to herself at the thought of her busty daughter on all fours, splashing about, trying to get under the sink to turn off the water.

"I hadn't seen him for two years. And when I did, I really fancied him. I mean, really fancied. I hadn't slept with Lynnie the night before, she wasn't well. Anyway, on the way back, he was just chatting, ordinary, but I was getting wet."

"Donna! You disgusting little slut!" Laura hid her smirk behind her hand.

"And when we got here, Trigger's van was here."

"So that's how Lynnie bumped into Trigger!"

"So we've come indoors and I'm leading the way, and I say to Adie, I just want to tell Lynnie we're home, and I've opened her door, and there she is on her hands and knees, with Trigger. And he's got his thing in her mouth!"

"Bloody hell, Don!"

"So I've shut the door quick, but what with Adie in the car and everything and him standing so close behind me, and then me seeing Lynnie with Trigger like that, I was so turned on, well...!"

"Well?"

"I dragged him into my bedroom and practically raped him, Mum! No, not practically. I did rape him. I ripped his clothes off and I was so wet, he just slid in without even touching the sides." Donna's narrative had gained a momentum of its own. No stopping her now. "We fucked, Mum. We really fucked! There was no other word for it. Like dogs!"

"You mean...?"

"No, not that much like dogs. The first time, I was on top."

Laura cuddled her daughter's quivering, shaking body to her. "What then?" she asked hoarsely.

"We went and cleared up the mess in the kitchen, then we did it again on the kitchen floor. Then I took him into the bedroom and did it once more really slowly and lovingly...!"

"Just to say thank you? Good girl...!"

"And later, I took him back home in the car."

"Don't tell me you did it in the car, darling!"

"I tried not to, but he gave me a kiss outside his house, and I didn't mean to, but ... his dad was out and there was nobody around, so I sat on him in the back of the car. Then when I got home, I realised I'd forgotten to get him to do the window..."

"Thank heavens for a good handyman!"

"So he came back and put the new glass in."

"He made a good job of it."

"That's not all he made a good job of, Mum!"

"Oh, Donna! Not again!"

"Three times. I'm worried I might be becoming a nymphomaniac."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it at all, love! One thing, though?"

Her mother seemed to have taken the whole thing very well.

"What's that?"

"You said Lynnie was on her hands and knees with Trigger in her mouth. You mean all of him?"

"All his thingie, yes!"

"Jeezus!" Laura held her hands at least a foot apart and stared at them in disbelief.

"Mum! How do you know...?"

They were curled up comfortably together on the settee.

"I said it was confession time, darling. I thought when we got the offer from Cunis that it would help with the money. In fact, the money we get from you growing is more than I ever thought we'd get. I had hoped it would make things easier, and I'd be able to change some of my arrangements."

"Arrangements?" Donna was dreading hearing it, but Laura knew it was time.

"We always have plenty of food, plenty of meat? Plenty of bread, and milk. The car is serviced regularly, the washing machine gets mended every time it floods the kitchen. How did you imagine I paid for all that?"

"Oh, Mum!"

"Yet when your money started coming in, somehow it didn't seem to make any difference. It had all become a bit of a habit. Trent the Butcher, Phil from the greengrocer's, the baker's son, the milkman. Trigger, of course, and Bert Buckmaster; they'd all come to expect it, too, and I didn't want to disappoint them. And I enjoy it too much to give it up. I've let you down, Donna."

"You didn't mention Adie, Mum!" Donna asked with an anxious feeling in her tummy.

"No, love, he came down one day when his dad was busy. That's how he knew where to find the stop-cock. He had a headache, though, so I had to pay his dad later."

"Thank God ...!"

The silence stretched out into minutes.

"I still can't believe young Lynnie swallowed all of Trigger. Are you sure?"

"I've watched her do it. That double date we had? We went out and bought some beer, then came straight back here and just did it all night. Lynnie couldn't even wait to get Trigger into bed. She had him in her mouth as soon as they got in the door. It was all I could do to drag Adie into the bedroom: he wanted to stay and watch. But she definitely took the whole thing. God knows how. I'm sure I couldn't even open my mouth that wide."

"Nor can I," said her mother, with total conviction. She was struck by a sudden thought. "Darling, you are taking precautions, I hope!"

"I didn't the first time," Donna admitted. "I mean, not the first few times. But when Adie came back with the glass for the window, I told him to call in at the 7-Eleven for a couple of dozen packets. I've still got one or two left, I think."

"Good. But just remember, darling. Don't ever get caught short in an emergency, there's always a box of a gross in the top drawer of my dressing table."

"You buy them a gross at a time? Mother! But I'll remember that. Better not tell Lynda, though. Gross is a dirty word as far as she's concerned."

end Chapter 18