TROUBLE AT THE  KARAOKE
by Hamlet



We were met outside the restaurant by Veronika the taxi driver who arrived
exactly on time .Her time keeping was actually perfect! We all piled into the
taxi ready for an evening of enjoyment ahead. As usual sat next to Annika, who
said once more that She was going to be my Partner for the evening. She held
me once more in Her leather gloved hands and warned me again about talking to
other Oslanders especially Filipinos and to Papians as well.

We were soon outside Rattans Bar that was situated on Harbasvaga a long road
that was situated right in the centre of a vast shopping complex t of ten
floors The Snotra centre named after the Norse Goddess of Wisdom.. It had a
magnificent view of the city iteld as the shopping complex was situated on a
height that overlooked the whole city The Bar itself was totally unlike any
dingy English pub..The nearest equivalent in Englandwould be All Bar One.

Like all bars in the Nation it wasenormous and spotlessly clean .It was built
on 3 floors and was packed not just with gangs of Norse Women Man Hunting and
groups of Norse Men ready to be hunted, but also with hundreds of tourists
especially Americans and Australians .

This evening especially it wasgoing to bevisited especially by large groups of
Australian backpackers who werte determined to have a wild drunken
time.Australian magazine the TNT especially advertised it stating it was a
wild place to go although you can only drink 3 pints of lager as these norsis
seemn to object to us drinking being the bunch of bloody fascsisys that they
arteIts fill of big norsi sheilas who like shotputters so be careful or you
might end up through the window! T he whole place was like all bars in the
Nation more like a restaurant than a bar. There was no concept of pubs as in
England where one went out just to get drunk and drinking was the main
activity .In this Nation one went out to eat and to enjoy oneself without the
necessity of getting drunk.

The first 2 floors were eating and drinking areas only .Customers would sit at
tables and be waited on by Bar Marshals ( BMs) who as in all bars and
restaurants wore uniforms that resembled Cow Person outfits.They wore leather
as always, this time red leather cat suits that was the uniform of all bar
marshals ( BMs) which was the professional body all bar staff belonged to
.Being aBM in this Nation was an honoured and respected profession taking
years of training and BMs not only served customers, but expected in turn to
be treated with respect and deference by the customers themselves.BMs were all
trained in Gym Kata and practiced it on any customer that caused any trouble,
especially Australian backpackers!

On the upstairs floor was the karaoke stage .There was a karaoke Mistress or
KM Samanthafor the evening, whose job it was to invite customers onto the
stage and invite them to sing. Of course any customer who could not sing or
was drunk or difficult would be ordered off the stage at once .She was
standing in front of the customers in a really fetching outfit of a black
leather bra and long leather gloves and high heeled boots.

As we walked into the bar, we were met by a BM Yvette .She was a really
attractiveNorse Woman and had blonde curly hair tied back in a pony tail.She
smiled at us as we walked in and greeted us.

'Good evening My name is Marshal Yvette.I will be your BM for the evening.
Where would you like to sit?'

'Actually We would like to go to the karaoke which is about to start Yvette.'
said Angela.

'Certainly Ladies it's on the top floor. I see you have an Oslander with You
.Has he remembered to bring his FAC( Foreigners Alcohol Card)?

'Yes certainly .We realise he's only allowed 6 units of alcohol this evening
!'replied Angela.

'That's true. Every time you order a bottle of wineI will count how many
glasses he has had to drink .Remember that one glass counts for two units of
alcohol, that means he is only allowed 3 glasses in the whole evening .We
monitor this very strictly as we don't want to lose our license!'

They talked about me as ifI was just an object and my opinions were worthless!

'Also you have a minor with You .How old is She?'

'I'm 16 years old and My name is Annika' said Annika coming forwards

'Well AnnikaI will have to see your IC' said Yvette(Identity Card that had to
be carried at all times or else!)

'Right Annika You can stay until midnight as a special concession as You are
with your Mother but this is the last time! You will have to wait in
futureuntil you're 18!'

Annika did look resentful but at the same time realised She had to obey the
Law scrupulously and that Yvette as a BM was well and truly in charge!

'Right .You can now go up to the karaoke bar. Ring me fromthe table when you
are ready to order!'

All tables had phones where the numbers of the BMs could be called and they
would come up at once. God what an efficient Nation this was .Everything
worked like clockwork even more than Switzerland!

We all went upstairs. There was an enormous dance floor with hundreds of
people pouring in ,a mixture of NorseWomen Manhunters ,Man victims ,foreign
tourists especially Americans and Australians and later gangs of Australian
backpackers. I realised that the USS Ronald Reagan was nearby and these
sailors would be coming out on liberty!

We all sat down near the karaoke stageas we knew it would start soon Samantha
was getting ready.She was a big tough NorseGirl and would take no nonsense at
all from customers especially Oslander scum.

Angela called Yvette .We were ready to order. We were going to have 2 bottles
of Varsskull Creek white wine ,a large jug of pineapple juice with ice and 6
smorgasbord. Angela .Annika and I ordered chicken smorgasbord ,Juilet pork and
Heidi ordered beef.

The food and drink was brought up in 5 minutes .Service was with military
efficiency .As usual the helpings were gigantic far more than I could eat!

In this Nation the bar itself was also afraid of getting into trouble with the
RO( Restaurant Officer)for the bar Madame Karma Vaksdahl who was known to be
really ruthless and the responsible Judge Sheila Burgesson.She was also a
member of the Australian Backpackers Unit (ABU) and was known also to be
really vicious too!

Just then the Karaoke Mistress Samantha stood up and addressed everyone

'Good evening everyone.I am Karaoke Mistress Samantha andI am in charge of the
karaoke this Saturday evening at Rattans Bar. We will be going on all night
and I expect most of you to stay all night and sing and dance heartily.I will
of course not tolerate bad singing at all!Anyone who can't singI will order
off the stage at once.I have aqualification in music andI sing myself soI know
all about music!'

'We will start the karaoke the first song is fromCarla who will song 'White
Flag 'by the English singer Dido.'

Carlagot up to sing .She was dressed in shiny black rubber calf length boots
and rubber gloves .She was clearly on a Man Hunting Expedition with Her 3
Friends in the corner.

She got up and sang beautifully. As She was singing the dance floor began to
fill up and all 5 of us got up to dance in a group. Annika held me from the
front moving Her leather gloved fingers up and down my crotch.Laura then came
from behind moving Her hand up and down my backside and fingering my arse!

As we were dancing an Australian tourist called Geoff got up to sing a song by
Elvis Pressley ' Blue Suede Shoes'.It was quite clear that he could hardly
sing a note .After about 2 minutes Samantha ordered him off the stage to the
boos and hisses of the crowd!

'Get off the stage now you Australian areshole!That was appalling! It's
obvious you can't sing a note! I've a good mind to have you thrown out of the
Bar for making a noise like that!'

He walked way looking so ashamed of himself to more boos from the crowd!

HeIDI was up next to sing. She sang'One of these days 'by Emmy Lou Harris .She
had a wonderful strong voice .The whole dance floor was packed to the strains
of the song!

She sang lustily asHer voicecarried right across the dance floor

'Iwon't have to chop no wood I can be bad orI can be good Ican be any way
thatI feel One of these days!'

The dance floor was getting more crowded as literally hundreds of people were
now flooding in.

Just then the worst happened.A bunch of Australian backpackers 20 in all
walked in .

They were determined to have a wild

It was clear they were all really frustrated and were determined to meet some
women at all costs .As soon as they entered one shouted out.

'What time does the show start!'

'Turn that country crap off !We want some blues music!'

'Get the god dam beers in!'

They were largely ignored by the people there as they joined in the chorus
with Helga singing lustily.

'One of these days it will be all over cut and dried'

'And I won't have this urge to go all bottled up inside!'

Being ignored made them even more aggressive as they pushed forwards on the
dance floor. Suddenly they came upon us dancing away.

One of them shouted out

'Mind if we muscle in. We like the leathers!'

Margarethe went up to them and confronted them.

'Why don't you get lost or well call the Judges and have you thrown out!'

'Judges who are they Judge Dredd!' one of them laughed out.

Angela then phoned judge Sheila Burgesson on Her mobile.

'Judge Burgesson ,We have your number to contact in case there is any trouble.
There are a bunch of Australian backpackers behaving like arseholes .Can You
come round to the karaoke bar at Rattans and deal with them?'

'Certainly MayI have your name?'

'It's Ms Margarethe fasgaard. I'm here with my daughter and 2 Friends and an
oslander .Actually Judge Burgesson we'd rather like to beat the crap out of
them ourselves.I do know it's legal to fight Oslanders in a secluded place
provided a Judge is present. Could You supervise the fight?

'You'reright Margarethe, the Law states fights can take place with Oslanders
ONLY, butonly in a secluded place provided there is no danger to persons or
property .I will be there to supervise the fight. It will take place in the
Rattans car park andI would like to join in!'

Meanwhile juilet had one of the biggest backpackers in an arm lock in the
presence of everyone on the dance floor. Helga stepped down from the stage to
join in .It was clear a fight was about to begin Yvette had also come up and
was quite prepared to evict them as a BM.

Soon Judge Sheila appeared.She was lovely to look at with the reddish blonde
hair that was typical of the North. She looked stunning in Her black leather
Judges Uniform.She was brilliant bodybuilder and aGrade 1 in Gym Kata.

She strode up to the backpackers who had gone quiet seeing their friend in
agony as Juliet continued to hold him in a vice nearly breaking his arm. He
was groaning in pain!

'Right you lot you're all under arrest. Normally I would take you outside and
throw you all in the Judge Wagon and then hurl you all on the carrier and then
stamp all your Entry Papers all on My own. However these Women here, whom you
have wronged, want to take action against you .We will fight you in the car
park 20 of you against 6 of us. Of course you will be sent back to the carrier
as cripples but you've got to learn your lessons!'

She yelled at them so She could be heard right across the dance floor.

'COME OUTSIDE AND FIGHT!'