My Story Part 79 by Corbin Hunt ********** The light of the mind is red. It is a red street, it never ends, it must be kept to like a schedule. When it is fine, it is fine. and the night's hounds flinch from it. Foxes run under dark cover of leaves; the glacier trapping everything unused, melts. Everything natural to us must be learned. The broken laugh, the branching glance, the wood beneath the green, embarking skin. The light of the mind is red. It is a red street, and a cold home stands at its darkening end, toward which foxes run through clicking leaves. -Meghan O'Rourke ********** "A PART FROM BEING REVERED BY THEIR GYM PEERS, LOOKING good in wife-beater undershirts, and having superhot girlfriends, guys who can bench a lot of weight usually have one other thing in common: shoulder pain." Men's Fitness by Robert Belley, C.P.T. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I really did laugh out loud when I read the above section in a Men's magazine. These types of delusional statements typify allot of what goes thru guys heads. They really do think allot of themselves. In reality, they are mocked and ridiculed behind their back at the gym. They are also the most desperate and insecure of the male species. The "shoulder pain" comment is true, but who gives a shit, when someone is benching/curling/squatting an ungodly amount of weight, they deserve to have that broken down body years down the road. And it will break down people! The human body is not designed for that kind of abuse. So anyway, I am often flipping thru Men's magazines because I get a good laugh, it also further reinforces my belief that most men are bi-sexual. The first time I ventured over to the side of the magazine rack that had all the male-oriented-so-called "Health" magazines, I was stunned to see a dizzying display of buff, hard-bodied men in ad after ad. Why is that odd you ask? Because why would a hetero-male want to see page after page of hard, muscled, sweaty and bulked up men, mostly semi-naked. >>From my perspective it looks GAY! VERY GAY! I think that men are infatuated with lesbians because it helps to redirect their homosexual desires, if makes men feel safe, so you don't have to confront your real desires. Look guys, it's a no win situation for you. If you loudly proclaim that you will never watch "Brokeback Mountain" because of the content and scenes, you are in denial and are deep in the closet, thus you are admitting your bi-sexual. If you claim you are secure with your masculinity and are willing watch the film, "Because it is just a good movie at heart", then you are still bi-sexual. So what does it mean if Women want to watch "Brokeback Mountain"? To see Jake Gyllenhaal you morons! Regardless of what he is doing on the screen! Okay, here's another observation: At the gym, it's the loud, brash, gawk-at-women-walking-by hetero men that are always pushing, grabbing, playfully punching on one another. Oh they claim it is a form of male bonding, but odd that I don't see the gay men in the gym being so physical with one another, it's just the "I want everyone in the gym to know I am a loud heterosexual man", never mind the fact I love to manhandle my sweaty friends in the weight room. Very gay! ********** If I was single, and thank god I am not, there is only one place I need go to find a date. Go ahead take one guess... The answer: The Bookstore! The Bookstore has turned into a socializing Mecca! You have extensive magazine racks, music sections, coffee bars, and of course books! Every time I go there, I get hit on at least half a dozen times, by both sexes. ********** "Did you sleep with her!" That's the greeting I got when I walked in the door. Sharon had jumped on me as soon as I walked into the door from Jenna's the next morning, or I should say mid-morning to be accurate. I should have also recognized that it was an accusation more so then a question, which would have better prepared me to respond more kindly as the conversation continued. "What? What are you driving at?" I immediately got defensive as I walked straight into my room, I know I looked like shit, hair a mess and clothes all wrinkled. I pulled my underwear from my purse and shoved them into the dirty clothesbasket, it was just a short drive home so I elected not to put them back on. I quickly pulled another pair out and put a pad in because today I was starting to 'flow', just fucking great, I leave for Europe in two days, so my first few days there I will have my period. Bet you didn't need to know that! But I included it anyway. :) "Holy shit, what the hell have you been into? Did you get into a fight!" Sharon walked in looking at my arms and back as I stripped off my clothing. "Just some wrestling, and a whole lot more." I looked over at her with a mischievous smile, as I pulled a fresh bra into place. Sharon took a step back and shot me a horrid look, her face went pale, it tore right into my heart and I knew instantly that I had just put my foot into my mouth, again. The color began to return to Sharon's cheeks and I knew my careless comments were probably pissing her off, after all it had only been a short time since we had ended our relationship. "Sharon I'm sorry." I slumped my shoulders and reached out with my right hand to touch her arm. "Fuck you." She said and knocked my hand away. "I'm sorry." I said, mouthing the words as we stood staring at one another, but she still had that raw, hurt expression on her face. I knew that look, the kind of look she gave to people when she wanted vengeance. "For weeks I've had to listen to your poor, pity me whining about Nikki." She started. "Okay, fine, go ahead Sharon, pick it apart." I sighed and turned away to walk over to my bed, slowly pulling down my long sleeve sweatshirt. "Then you walk in here and throw this in my face." Sharon wrapped her arms around the front of her and stepped in closer to where I stood. "What phase are you going thru now Corbin? The phase where you go out and fool around with everyone until Nikki tells you it's 'OK' to come back to her?" Those words coming from Sharon really cut me, "I'm not like that Sharon. You know that." I said softly and sat down on my bed. I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. "Just have some consideration for my feelings next time." She sighed and spun around, briskly walking out of my room. "Shit." I snapped under my breath as I wrung my hands together. Quickly I pulled on some old jeans and walked down to Sharon's room to try and make some more amends. She was sitting at her small desk, tapping away on her laptop, but in a very agitated manner as I stood watching, hands stuffed in my pockets. I walked up behind her and hesitantly massaged her shoulders, yet braced myself for another angry rebuff, but she slowly pulled her hands from the keyboard and laid them to rest in her lap as I stood and gently massaged her shoulders. I leaned over, brushed aside her long brown hair and kissed her neck, for a moment I got lost in her perfume and our memories together. "I'm sorry, do you forgive me?" I said softly and kissed her ear. "You know I do," She started and paused, her right hand reached back and touched my right hand squeezing it, "It's that I miss you sometimes, what we had." I took her by the hand and pulled her down onto her bed so we could lay down and hold one another, it was nice to talk and just be physically affectionate, but without the sex. Soft gentle touches, caresses, and hugs as we talked and caught up on allot of things. I didn't know it then, but Sharon was very forgiving with my brash, selfish behavior back then, and it would only be a short time later that I was soon to find out why. ********* One last trip the gym, I should be at home going down a last minute list of items, but actually I've already done that a million times already. I was jolted back into the moment when I saw Jenna's car in the parking lot and then overcome with a million concerns. 'How should I act around her?' Well, the same you as you always have you idiot, my inner voice chastised. It had only been a day since what went down at her Townhouse and in some ways it was like a dream, but I knew better. I walked around the check-in desk and off to the left is the weight room, I slowed my pace and saw Jenna standing, talking with a couple of other girls. She gave me a quick glance, then a simple but barely detectable nod and went back to speaking with her companions. It all happened so fast I barely had time to give my own response and so I kept on walking, trying not to read too much into it. But I failed. This was a pretty messed up point in my life, I was allowing myself to get emotionally drawn into a variety of directions that I normally would not have considered. I was starting to second guess everything, should I ever have gotten involved with Sharon? Should I have called Nikki? My erotic interlude with Jenna was also messing with my head and now I was wondering if we had opened the door to something emotionally deeper. Oh what the fuck, talk about a waist of time, rehashing all that crap over and over again. All of these questions went round-and-round my brain as I stood in front of the locker like a zombie, I had zoned out again. The corner of my right eye caught an approaching figure, so I went to step back, thinking I needed to make room for someone to access the locker next to me. Before I could move, two arms wrapped around me from my right side, and with only a brief glance I saw Jenna's face now close to mine. She had this sweet, warm smile. My whole body went tense and then I smiled, I let my defenses fall and I relaxed as my eyes did a quick surveillance to make sure we were alone, at least for the minute it seemed that we were. I was surprised at Jenna's bold affection towards me, but pleasantly so. She had moved behind me and gave me a firm embrace, resting her chin on my right shoulder. "Have a safe trip tomorrow." Her voice said in a hushed, sweet tone. In what surely drew several bizarre looks, Jenna and I worked out together as she spotted me and I her. We spent the rest of the time in the gym talking and working out. You see, when you belong to a gym long enough you start to understand it's dynamics and clicks, Jenna and I had always flowed in and out of different clicks/groups and now we seemed inseparable that evening. (One a side note, one thing Jenna and I did share, was a total avoidance with a group of people who had become the self-proclaimed 'hard core, endurance training' class, whatever the fuck that means. Well, I know what it means, it's a class that is lead by some ex-soldier boy who the gym hired to whip people into some crazy cardio shape. They run laps around the building and do all sorts of crazy exercise routines. While this class is open to all who dare venture, only a small number of about ten people attend on a regular/religious basis. They developed this snot nose attitude a few months later, believing that they were taking cardio to some new level, and anyone that didn't join was weak and inferior. Someone in the class hinted that I should attend the class, but I gave a smirk and said 'No' emphatically, that was weeks and weeks ago, Jenna had also turned them down. Since then we don't get so much as even an acknowledging nod in passing, I guess they feel snubbed. So now that Jenna and I are a pair at the gym, we go out of our way to show up those asses, making it clear that while they have their little click, Jenna and I can out bench, lift, squat and run the lot of them. Hmm, maybe I'm the one with the ego? Maybe, but I don't go around forming little fucking clicks and look down on people that don't join it.) Anyway, we finished up and went back to the locker room together to change and leave, we walked out to the parking lot and we stood chatting for few minutes. We gave one another a long, firm hug. I had just buckled myself in when I nearly jumped out of my seat by the tapping on my windshield. I turned the ignition key and powered down the window to see Jenna standing there smiling. "Hey! What's up?" Thinking she wanted to tell me something, instead she leaned over and pushed her head into my car and the next thing I knew we were kissing. I grabbed her by the neck and increased the tempo of the kiss, my left fingers fumbled for the unlock button and then I broke off the kiss. "Get in." I panted. Jenna bolted around the back of the car and climbed into the passenger seat as I unbuckled myself. I locked the doors and rolled my window up, in no time flat we were making out in that parking lot, fogging up the windows and reclining the seats back. "You are messing with my head." Jenna said, but didn't smile. "I know the feeling." I sighed, I wasn't smiling either, there was nothing funny about any of this. I lay back, resting on my right side, facing Jenna, my left hand and her right lazily clutched, we made some tense flexing motions as we met palm to palm, but we were both to tired to engage in any test of strength. We were too caught up in just letting the moment last a little longer. Besides, for some reason this connection made sense to us, we were the two fittest girls in the gym and so I think it was time for our rivalry to take another turn, and I do like the turn it took. I'd much rather make love not war, although I'm pretty good at making war :) On another side note, it drives Jenna crazy to workout with me. I have no schedule and she is very schedule oriented, and by schedule I mean that my lifting depends on my mood, I may walk in and feel like doing biceps one day, then walk in the next day feel like doing them again, all depends on how my body and mind feel. This drives her nuts and she's been trying to get me more regimented, but I resist because I like to flow in and out of what turns-me-on that day. :-) ******** I was excited and giddy waiting for Vincent to arrive, most of it was the fact that I was looking forward to getting the hell away from all of my little dramas, yes I know, allot of the drama in my life is self-inflicted and pales in comparison to real issues in the world. I was pacing in and out of the kitchen and into the foyer when Sharon took me by the hand very authoritatively, leading me over to the sofa. "Let's chat, seriously." She said as I took a seat. She sat down to my left and took my hands into her lap, giving me a soothing hand rub. It helped to calm me down but I think the hand rubbing was done more in preparation for our little chat then my vacation excitement/jitters. "What?" I asked finally. "I know you and Vincent did some innocent flirting during Christmas and I know about the letters he has been sending you." "Well yeah, I haven't been hiding anything." I said. "I just think you should stick to your plan, you know, no sex before marriage, I think it would mess with your head to sleep with Vincent." Sharon blurted it out but I know she had my best interests at heart. Tilting my head forward I made sure she was looking at me and listening when I said, "And what if I never marry." I watched her brow bunch up in frustration, and then her shoulders slumped forward a little as if she had tried to formulate a reply but couldn't. Sharon softly stroked my right cheek with the back of her left hand and faintly smiled. "Just be careful, no matter what you decide to do. I think you know Vincent better then I do by now, so let your instincts guide you baby." Sharon sighed and pulled me into a loving embrace. We sat on the couch hugging when a faint rap on the door caused both of us to stiffen. "Uh-oh" I whispered and we broke apart, giggling a little bit. Yeah, very corny, but what can I say. Vincent is one of those men that always looks 'put together', even when he is dressed casual. When I opened the door I was actually surprised to feel extremely comfortable and relaxed, his eyes went right to me. I felt the stare he was giving me, not leering or creepy, just this adoring look. We hugged, it felt good, his embrace was firm and I could tell he didn't want to let go, neither did I. He pulled back and stepped around to give Sharon another hug, but far more light and casual. Sharon gave me this knowing, sly grin in turn and I simply blushed and went to grab one of my bags. I insisted that I carry at least one bag down to the waiting car. It was a huge Mercedes, not a stretch or anything, but it was big and I was rather surprised we were being driven to the Airport by a service, but Vincent indicated he rarely ever drives over here in the US. "You Americans have such bad driving manners." He laughed, at least I think he was joking? "You seem tense?" He looked over at me as I sat to his right, he placed his right hand on my left knee, I was wearing a skirt that came right above my knee so his fingers tips touched bare skin, but it felt nice. "Just trying to get into vacation mode I guess." I nervously smiled and gripped his left hand. We held hands the whole way to the Airport, that was it, just some gentle handholding. I should have known, from the time he opened the car door for me that I would 'want' for nothing this entire trip. I truly felt fortunate at that moment. I think some would argue, quite convincingly, that Vincent was engaging in a very elaborate scheme of seduction, but by the end of this trip you may find yourself shocked to learn a few things that will change your opinion, it sure changed mine. I started to get nervous, crisscrossing my legs several times, the reality of everything came crashing down when he handed me a packet with my tickets. We got our luggage checked in, and once again I was clueless about everything as we sat, waiting for to board the plane. (On a side note, I have always breezed thru security, I have never been asked to 'step aside' so they can pat-me-down. But this time Vincent did get flagged and I stood off to the side as he removed his belt, shoes and went thru the usual process. The Security folks were very polite and efficient, I know many people complain but I have never had a bad Airport experience. Yet! Knock on wood!) Back to me being clueless, I heard them announce that they would start boarding soon, unfortunately this was a two-stop trip. (From Charlotte to Ohio, from Ohio to France) I was flipping thru a book that Vince had given me about some of the places we would be staying, then I saw him suddenly stand up. I looked up in question and he motioned to the gate, "We're being called up." He said with a smile. 'Oh duh' and I smiled and grabbed my purse to board. I checked my seat and I was next to Vincent, no surprise there, but we were in first class, damn! I've never flown first class. This was awesome (okay pardon my moment of joy, but it *was* rather exciting.) The food, drinks and service we got were unbelievable, and it only got better when we boarded 'Air France' First Class, being able to recline the seat all the way was heaven. The romantic aspects of this trip began to edge their way in when he reached over to hold my hand periodically during the trip. I even leaned over and rested my head onto his shoulder as he talked about a resort we were going to visit the second week into the trip, right on the Mediterranean. My relationship with Vincent raised some eyebrows, because he was twice my age, but in this older more experienced man I found what so many younger men seem to be missing these days. I won't get into a bitch session here, but in some ways Vincent and I were like to old-souls that enjoyed simple things, like quiet walks and holding hands. For the first week we were very reserved around each other, although there was plenty desire on both our parts to become very intimate. But again, Vincent seemed to be able to read my signals perfectly and was always the gentleman; as I expected when I arrived at his house, I stayed in one of his guest rooms. A couple of mornings he would even make me breakfast, but most of the time we would eat out. A telling moment occurred as we had been strolling thru the city, we must have walked at least two or three miles, we were caught up in a fairly involved conversation. It was the most intense and in-depth conversation we had had yet. I was even a little surprised we had gone from holding hands to my arm wrapped around his back and vice versa, it was all very cozy and romantic. But back to the telling moment I was referring to, it was when he suddenly slowed his pace and seemed to stare blankly around at the shops which lined this narrow street we were walking. "How far have we come?" He suddenly asked, glancing over his shoulder. "Don't know, why? What's wrong?" I asked, he seemed a bit flustered. "Oh, I just haven't been this way in ages, this street, not since my wife..." I sometimes think I am pretty good at reading people, so I am sure that his reaction was genuine, it began with a wave of depression and then sadness which seemed to overtake his expression, and his posture softened as he seemed a bit lost in thought, but quickly collected himself looking over at me, forcing a smile. I thought about saying something, something supportive because I wanted him to know that it was okay to let his guard down, so I just leaned into him and gave him a firm hug. Every serious couple out there can remember those moments when certain connections take place, that seem to move the relationship to 'another level'. This was one of those. "As painful as it is, I don't see how you could ever let go of someone that was such a part of your life." I said, but it felt more like I was rambling, the way it came out. His arms suddenly pulled from around my waist, as we had been standing hugging each other, I thought that maybe I had said something inappropriate, but he leaned back and gently cupped my face in his palms, tilting my head up. His eyes were a little watery and blood shot, he was holding back the tears, but he was regaining his focus as he studied my face for a minute. But I knew what was coming and I wanted it, and again, as if on cue our faces tilted, and right in the middle of the sidewalk we began to kiss, it was a soft but passionate. Fortunately this small side street was deserted, but with the setting sun it was also very romantic. ********** (I know, who wants to read all of this romantic crap. But I like telling it, so if you don't like it, you can find some other superficial form of entertainment.) We did a few tourist type activities, but mainly I wanted to just explore the shops, stores and markets. I am not big on going to all the museum's and other typical places everyone always goes, to me, experiencing a city is waking up in the morning and exploring but I didn't have to worry about getting lost, as I had a first class guide. We attended one formal party that week, and I tried to relax but it was difficult, I studied the way the men eyed me up and it intrigued me to no end, they were smart about it and way more confident then the men back home. They flirted with me and paid me compliments, the attention thrilled me and I suppose every woman wants to feel desired. The one thing I began to notice was how much respect Vincent seemed to get from the various social circles, I was taking mental notes now, and these next two weeks would open the door to greater insight into just who Vincent really was. It was the way people, who knew Vincent, reacted with surprise to seeing me on his arm as we walked thru parts of town, and the sincere way they inquired about how things in his life were going since his wife's death. I would later find out she succumb to breast cancer and how the months leading up to her death, and for a while after that, Vincent was rarely seen socializing or working. The reputation that had been strung together by Sharon, and the other gossiping hens back in the States was starting to unravel. Or was he a good actor? Just a Playboy in the United States while acting up the heart broken widower back home in France? And was it true what Sharon had told me, that the two of them had lightly fooled around? Whatever that means, Sharon could have been making all of that up. My mind snapped back to the moment, I was standing on a balcony in Paris, it was cool outside, maybe too cool to be standing in just a thin evening gown and bare shoulders. But I had made a conscious decision to show some cleavage tonight, much to the delight of Vincent, and every other man. There was something reminiscent in all of this, as I stood sipping on the wine and looked out over the roof tops, the Eifel tower always seemed to follow and watch me. I felt young and naive around all of these worldly people, and it stirred feelings inside me and it felt all new. Like being a young girl exploring things for the first time, resisting and rejecting temptations directed my way, thoughts of touching and being touched. I stood frozen, I could feel my nipples growing hard and the lips of my pussy beginning to swell. I loved this rush of desire, I was letting my guard down now, so thank god my period had ended the day before! Vincent was standing next to me now, commenting on my flushed face. I was clearly startled and my head felt fuzzy as I watched him through my arousal and found his motions so enticing, so potent. We walked back into the warm confines of the crowded room and I watched him pour me a drink from the nearby bar and realized that most of the feelings I was having were rooted between my legs, that my pussy felt wet, that an insistent pulse throbbed and intensified when he turned and met my eyes. He started to open his mouth to speak but closed it again and just stood there staring at me, or more precisely, at my breasts and protruding nipples. He knew I noticed what he was doing, and I knew he wanted me to know that he wanted me, and I him. These strong connections were happening more frequently and that was how it was when we were together, we were drawn together, intensely together. Now let me try and bring some clarity into my thoughts, this trip with Vince was to be a vacation, but foolish me actually thought for awhile that's all it was to be, just a vacation. But something was happening and it was happening to both of us yet again, and right in this crowded room. My heart began to hammer and I felt a blush creep up my face as we stood staring at one another. My mind was drifting to the previous night, I had touched myself in every way I knew, with vague images of his hands on my body, his mouth kissing mine. He rarely left my side, ever attentive to me, but while he was engaged in conversation (he flowed between English and French so fluidly) I often found myself smiling, wondering 'What am I doing here? Among French socialites, a simple girl from 'the south'.' "This is a refreshing site!" The voice, with a very subtle French accent was coming from a tall blonde, well a dark sandy blonde, I had seen her a few times tonight but did not know her name. "Pardon?" I said obviously unsure of her reference. "We thought Vincent would never get back into the ritual of courtship." She said with this odd smile. "We're friends." I said with a friendly smile right back, trying to steer the conversation away from romance. "Absolutely." She chuckles in a condescending, sarcastic tone, which miffed me a little. "And your an American, and half his age," her upper body tilts back to look me up and down in a very obvious manner, "and in great, great shape." "I'm Corbin, you are?" I snap, sticking my right hand out shake. "Monica." She smiles and shakes my hand giving me a fairly limp grip, mine is firm but not overly so. "Riton my husband and I are good friends of Vincent and his late wife." "Monica!" Vincent suddenly turns his attention to us, and they give each other a friendly kiss. "I'm so glad you and Riton are here, this is Corbin, she is someone very, very dear to me." And he puts his arm around my waist. Well, so much for my 'Friends' comment! And Monica is smirking as she levels her eyes at me. "Yes, we are just discussing that very subject." Monica continues. "'American' Vincent?" Monica sighs and cocks her head in apparent disappointment. I was clenching my jaw biting my tongue and inside cheek, anything to keep from spouting off at the mouth. "Monica." Vincent frowned and rubbed my back with his left hand. "There is no call for that." "Sorry Vincent, just a shock that's all, and so young, you're practically robbing the cradle." Monica was now reaching over and rubbing my left shoulder, she kept doing that, part condescending and part I think to throw me off by being physically touchy-feely, while being verbally abrasive. Psychological games I think. "Twenty three." I say, for some reason I thought was a good response. "I was dead on!" She suddenly smiles, seemingly proud of herself, "EXACTLY half his age." And increases the stroking of my left arm, all the way down to my forearm, I don't retract from her touch, in fact I don't react at all, I try to stand and act totally oblivious to her touching. "Great, you've now demonstrated your amazing mathematical skills." I snap in an irritated tone, which got a laugh from Vincent and a slight blush from Monica. "At ease my dear, its just you're the first woman anyone has seen on Vincent's arm since Sophia (Vincent's deceased wife). So you're going to have to endure some judgment and scrutinizing, we're protective of Vincent." "Sophia and I used to vacation frequently with Monica and Riton, so there is a history." Vincent explains. It was very uncomfortable, I've never been in a situation like this, romantically involved with a much older man, formerly married, and from a foreign country, this had every twist and curve you could imagine. And this was all coming at me as a first, I wanted to bolt to the safe confines of my home and leave this country. But I stood my ground, and chose the higher ground whenever Monica would pick at me, testing the thickness of my skin. Yet Monica was a sharp woman, in her forties but looked a women n her thirties, she also had a killer figure. When we returned to Vincent's house I slipped into a bit of a funk, and I suspect he knew why. He took me by the hand and we sat out on his balcony, sipping on something warm and sobering. "Please, ignore Monica, she's a much nicer person then what you saw tonight." Vince started. "I'm sure." I sighed and crossed my left leg over my right. Vince suddenly stood up and stepped into the house, he reappeared with a light blanket and covered my bare legs with it, I had a coat on, but my legs were getting chilled. "Thank you, you're always looking out for me." I smiled and tucked the blanket around my legs, I immediately felt the warmth return to my calves and some of the anxiety leave my mind. I heard the feet of his chair skate across the tile floor and he was next to me now, turning the chair before sitting back to relax. "I've heard things Vince." I said and closed my eyes, I was bracing myself as I choose to dive into a topic that was weighing heavy on my mind. I looked up and found him staring straight ahead, his mouth tense as he nodded his head in agreement. "I can't fight every rumor, and after awhile, I don't want to expend energy on even the slightest bit of it." He tilted his head toward me a little, looking for my reaction. I had pulled my knees up into the chair, wrapping my arms about them protectively, more so to keep warm. I kept studding his expression, waiting for the right words or questions to come, trying to find a line of thought that would express what I was thinking. For the moment I didn't have to, as he started to speak again; "There seems to be this sensational, scandalous creativity in the mind of so many Americans, it seems to work its way into every opportunity." "Were you and Sharon ever an item?" I blurted it out in my usual tactful manner. A look of pain overcame his face as he seemed to be trying to figure out what and whom I was speaking about. "The Sharon we know!" He wagged a finger between us. "That Sharon." I said with a nod, but then shrugged and smiled a little to try and convey my own awkward sense of things, "She implied something to that effect." I watched his handsome features tense "Oh god" he blurted out, but with this look of shock, his right hand began rubbing his neck and chin as he seemed at a loss for words. His black dress shoes started to shift nervously as he appeared to be collecting his thoughts before turning back to me. "I don't know what to say, I'm so disappointed and what were her motives to say something like that?" "Never mind." I sighed and looked down, I thought that it probably should not have been asked and did it even matter anyway? "But I do mind," His tone got my attention as I looked up and found him staring at me, "I care what you think Corbin, I've never dated a single woman since Sophia's death, you're the first. My friends tonight, although after Monica's behavior I may need to rethink things." And he rolled his eyes, but came about to immediately look back into my eyes "The people you've met while here are important! This is my home you see, were I live and I wanted you to see and be a part of all of this, no one else have I shared this with." His shoulders slumped and he cradled his glass in his hands, looking down while taking a deep sigh, it appeared as if he was trying to organize his thoughts and not get angry. But I was letting myself become enraged, my mind could think of only one thing, confronting Sharon. I threw off the blanket and stood, storming into the room where I was sleeping. I could hear Vincent calling out after me, I tried the Townhouse and then her cell, I let it ring and cared little for what time it was back home. Sharon had some clarifying to do. "SHARON!" I snapped when she answered her cell, "Why did you feed me that line of bullshit about you and Vincent fooling around!" Sharon initially claimed a memory lapse with regards to our conversation on the night of the Christmas party, and when pressed she claimed to only be trying to protect me from getting involved with an older man. "Don't lie Sharon, don't do that ever again, my feelings are on the line here, I am involved in something and I need to make some serious decisions based on truth!" I yelled into the phone, I was angry but also on the verge of tears. She apologized profusely and began to cry, begging me to be careful while I was over here. I was still mad with her when we said our goodbyes, oddly my left hand seemed to suddenly become detached, as I watched the phone slowly move back into it's cradle on the nightstand. Had I just admitted, in so many words, that I was falling for Vincent? The reality of everything was slowly settling in. I knew he was standing in the doorway behind me, I could feel his presence, his warmth even from across the room. He had not said a word as I remained standing there looking down at the phone. "I'm sorry Vincent." I turned around and he smiled but I noticed his lips quivered once and he didn't say a word as he looked at me. I opened my mouth but no sound came out, we took a few steps toward one another and every hair on the back of my neck stood up and the familiar ache between my legs began anew. The feelings rushed over me so fast I almost fell down, I found myself beginning to sweat and shake just by being near him. After all, I'd just spent last night imagining us as lovers, imagining doing things I'd only come so close to, but never having consummated. He moved or I moved, or we both moved forward a little more at the same time, and just before our first real kiss since being here in Paris together, I felt his arms wrap around me. I felt the warmth of his body near mine, for real this time, not my imagination working me over. I was led by his mouth and we quickly found the rhythm, my mouth opening and closing in answer to his, he paused now and again and his lips would just graze my forehead and cheek. He positioned my hands, bringing them up around his neck while his slid lower, pulling me against him and I felt the pressure of his growing erection against my crotch. His hands stroked my back, moving outward to frame my hips, and as he did his kisses became more fevered, his lips sliding down to my neck. Like every man I have ever been intimate with (I can proudly state that number is a very select few, a number which I can count on one hand) his hands seemed to gravitate to and follow the path of every muscle that lined my back, shoulders and arms. He proceeded to pull my hands from his own neck and for a moment he seemed to study me with his eyes and I saw that hungry look. "Sleep with me tonight, in my bed, just to feel your body next to mine, that's all." He asked. "Yes." I moaned into his mouth. I don't remember the trip thru the living room and study to get to his room, I don't remember him turning the lights out as we made our way thru his house. All I recall is stranding in his bedroom, looking across the vast expanse of his bed, and then I felt him behind me, his fingers tugging at the zipper on my dress. My heart jumped and my hands nervously clutched at my sides when I felt the zipper reach the end of its trail. Odd, he seemed to pause and that's when I felt his hands softly grip my shoulders, I turned my head to the left and he was already leaning his head around, but his eyes went from mine to stare straight ahead. I looked back to where he was staring, it was the bed, but in the far corner of the bed from where we stood was a small silver box. I had not noticed it before, then again the box was almost the same color as the bedspread. "Open it." He said. I was smiling, silly huh? But I have to admit, that while I was with Vincent those two weeks I allowed the very feminine and submissive side to come out. Yes 'submissive' is a strong word, but rarely can I recall wanting to feel so pampered, taken care of and enjoyed the lavish attention that I was being given. There were no discernable marks on the box that might give away it's contents and no wrappings, very simple indeed, so without hesitation I pulled off the top and peeled away the grayish wrapping that lined the inside. I recognized the item instantly as I lifted it from the box, but I wasn't prepared for how delicate and light it felt. It was a beautiful, plain white, silk nightgown, with two thin shoulder straps. It was so amazingly thin, borderline sheer. (Maybe you folks were expecting something freakish and wild, like a sex toy? Well get your minds out of the GUTTER!) I held it up in front of me and it stretched all the way down to my ankles, "Should I try it on?" I asked and felt my face blush. I felt my modesty kick in and was being shy again, I actually started to have reservations about doing this. I know I've talked allot about the incredible physical attraction between Vincent and I, but I still had some conservative concerns. "I would like that very much." Vincent said. I walked towards his bathroom and paused next to him, leaning over to kiss him, "Thank you". He turned as I walked past and I knew he was watching me every step of the way, in my heels I gave a slight sway to my hips, which seems to drive men crazy. I closed the door and paused for a second, first looking down at the elegant handle that my hand was gripping, then turned to look into the mirror to see if the reflection was the same. I know that sounds odd, but allot of what I was doing these past few days was way out of character for me. I knew that was my face, eyes, hairÉyou get the point, but what I was having trouble with now was identifying the girl that lifted weights, who mostly wore workout attire, seeing the rest of my days with Nikki, and her alone. Moments of self-reflection were also a way of forcing myself to admit that the connection I felt with Vincent was more then physical, but emotional, that I was falling in love with Vincent, and I wondered if he was looking at me in the same way. I gave a quick glance up to see him standing and waiting, hands clasped at his waist patiently, when I stepped from the bathroom. But I suddenly looked down and away, feeling shy, for all intensive purposes I felt naked because this silk fabric that was so light (but that's the point), yet this thin material seemed to cling to my every curve, making me feel oh so sensual. I ran my hands down my hips and smiled, blushing a bit as I turned around to show off the back. "Oh my" I heard him say, it came out barely above that of a whisper and his mouth remained open, he seemed to realize he was gawking and quickly restrained himself by closing his mouth. I was a little embarrassed, I really don't know if he was putting on a show for me with his reaction, or what, I really don't think I am this stunning super beauty, but it felt nice to get this kind of reaction. He was pulling off his coat and discarding it quickly as he crossed the space between us in two quick steps, now I could see it in his eyes and the way he was holding me close. He actually was trembling a little bit as he rub his hands over my body, I could see he wanted to do so much more then hold me close tonight, but I wasn't ready. "My God, you're gorgeous," He moaned, his head dipped down and he started kissing my neck, the warmth of his breath felt good. "You're body is amazing." With me in the nightgown and he in his boxers, we lay curled up under the covers as he held me tight against him. It was really very innocent and I have to say I felt safe and warm in his embrace.