My Story 54 By Corbin How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman. ********** When people bitch about how hot it is outside, I just declare that I love the Heat and that I wish it was hotter. If it's 100 degrees outside, I wish it was 110! If it's 110 outside, I wish it was 120! I have to work in the heat all day long so you fat, lazy, air condition cry babies save your breath, don't talk to me about how hot it is. But that doesn't stop people for making stupid ignorant comments like, "My god, how do you work in that greenhouse during the summer!" Well YOU MORON, there are devices called fans, and we utilize other ventilation contraptions that help circulate air, you should check into that. They are really cool inventions...they've been around for...oh...like, FOREVER!!! YOU CLUELESS DUMMY! We don't keep the greenhouse locked up like a sauna you retarded fool, now go and bang your head against the wall ten times for punishment. Gheesh, how do you people dress yourselves and figure out how to get about everyday. ********** So some of you people might actually thing Nikki and had turned into a couple of sex maniacs. Well let me set you straight, YES WE ARE! My relationship with Nikki was also liberating in other ways, my confidence level was higher then ever, and so was hers. As I've alluded to in the past, we had our ups and downs but time only strengthened our bond. I still liked having moments alone, I liked to just sit on my bed and collect my thoughts. I enjoyed the stillness of the room, no ringing phones, no where to be, no one talking my ear off, just peace and quiet. Sometimes I have weak moments, where I will drawn my legs up tight, and wonder what might be different if I had made love to Dale, or Robert? Would I ever know what that experience might be like with a man. My thoughts always returned to the dark haired girl, the one standing and smiling at me as I walked into that locker room back in College. In the end, my mind always drifted to the same conclusion, I really did hold her closer to my heart then anyone else. Before I knew it I was wiping the tears from my eyes. After such mushy romantic thoughts, I would send her text messages, saying 'I love you' and 'I miss you' or 'I want you now!' ********** Sharon had dragged Nikki and I to some New Years Eve Party. While we were there I heard a loud howl come from the other end of the room. We went to see what was happening and was astonished to see there was an impromptu arm wrestling contest going on, and most of the girls and guys were on their feet crowded around two girls seated at the kitchen table. I nearly dropped my cup of wine to see that redhead at the table, that girl form the football field, Carrie, sitting across from another woman and she was in the process of slamming some poor girl's arm down on the table. The loser got up from the chair opposite Carrie and another girl sat down in her place. I was shocked to find myself so quickly caught up in the struggle. This girl looked stronger, no doubt about it, built short and thick, it was a good battle, but in the end Carrie put her down too. "You could take her easily." Sharon nudged my right arm. "You think?" I sighed while my eyes were riveted to the two guys now sitting down at the table now to test one another, they looked mostly drunk. I looked over at Nikki who rolled her eyes, she thought these contests were stupid, and to some degree, so did I. "They'll probably end up puking on one another." Sharon laughed to which I let loose a good chuckle. A few more people crowded around the table, attracted no doubt by the initial sight of watching pretty girls arm wrestling. It was hard to see anything now from as far back as Sharon and I were and the hour was getting late. I then caught site of Carrie one more time before Nikki pulled me away. She was pulling a guy's head close and began talking in his ear, he appeared to be the instigator of this whole spectacle. I panicked when I saw the pointer finger of Carrie's right hand, also holding her drink, discreetly aim in my direction and then to point back at Carrier herself. But Carrie's look wasn't a familiar one. On the field that day she looked cocky, arrogant and self assured, the quick glances she was making now in my direction where cautious...almost...'calculating?' I didn't look away. But I came to my senses, "Let's get out of here." I whispered to Nikki. "Wait, I want to see who's next!" Sharon protested. I saw the guy look in my direction and I was suddenly having a bad feeling. "I think I know who's next, let's go!" I pleaded. "Who?" Sharon looked with intense curiosity, and it was now too late, the guy had navigated his way thru the crowd and gently tapped Sharon on the shoulder, who was standing between him and me. "Excuse me, can I have a word with your friend?" He asked. "What's up?" Sharon looked at him suspiciously. Glancing past Sharon and over to me, then back down at Sharon, he smiled, "Would your friend..." nodding at me, "...care to have a go at the table?" "Hell yeah, she'll kick any bitches ass in here!" Sharon leaned back with mocking laughter. "No!" I stammered with horror and took a step back and looked at Nikki who was also shaking her head 'no'. "What?" Sharon looked over her shoulder at me. "Really, why?" The guy looked on, extremely disappointed. "No, I'm going now." And I turned and started walking towards the door. "Corbin...Corbin!" Sharon called out after me trying to catch up, tugging on my left elbow. Once outside I flung my plastic beer cup across the lawn, narrowly missing a few girls and guys standing around chatting. One girl piped up, "HEY WATCH IT!" an anorexic looking brunette challenged. "WHAT?!" I froze and turned as if to walk in her direction, the girl's eyes went bug-eyed and she slowly turned back to her friends, not expecting me to challenge her back. "I thought so." I muttered and continued walking to the car. "I'm sorry." I heard Sharon call out after me, "Please, I'm sorry!" Sharon repeated, to which I finally stopped. "Will you talk to some sense into her!" Sharon waved at me while looking at Nikki. I took a deep breath and felt Nikki's hand on my back now, rubbing up and down my shoulders and spine. "I know you meant well Sharon," Nikki started, "But you know Corbin gets stressed-out when volunteered for stuff like that. You know how that makes her so uncomfortable." Damn, Nikki knows me so well, she can actually finish my sentences for me. Sharon glared at Nikki's support and she was probably more angry with the fact that Nikki was more in tune with me now then Sharon ever was. Petty jealous stuff really. My breath coming out in puffs of condensation as I tried to relax. "I get carried away, I promise to try harder and not be so forward." Sharon said. ********** Work was becoming a drag, a serious tedious drag. I had started to plot my escape but 'when' was the problem, but eventually 'when' wouldn't even matter, I would just drop my two weeks notice and find a job. Speaking of work, I'm day dreaming again as I stood looking for a spot, and I moved in to claim the umbrella covered table. It was in the upper fifties, unusually nice for January, so I decided to eat outside. The Company patio faced in just the right direction to catch most of the sun, even in the winter time it felt warm. Setting my cafeteria tray down, I pulled the chair up, put my sun glasses on to ease the brightness of the sun and had just started to get settled in when... "Hey Corbin!" the approaching voice called out. I glanced up, it was Allison, a pretty but ditzy blonde who worked in the Medical Management Department of the company, she was a registered nurse and seemed to be bright...when she applied herself. "Hey Allison..." But before I could say another word. "Mind if I join you?" "Not at all." I forced a grin and watched as the girl hastily put her tray down before plopping down into the seat. Allison was one of those women that was always in a rush with everything she did. 'Well, screw a peaceful lunch' I thought, along with Allison's hurried lifestyle, she had a personality to match, which only made sense, only it could rub you the wrong way if you were not in the mood for it. "So!" Allison smiled, picking up her fork and knife, ready to dig into her pasta. "What's new with you?" "Not much, same old thing, you know." I didn't bother going into allot of detail nor did I feel like offering up anything about myself to Allison because I knew exactly what the girl was after...information...rumors, gossip, you name it. 'Society is not as open minded as some in the media would have you believe, or like to pretend' I would always warn myself, so Nikki and I were a bit guarded about who we fully disclosed our relationship to, unfortunately, once it's out there, the risk of loose-lips is ever present. "Have any plans this weekend?" She grinned and stuffed a fork full of noodles into her mouth. Allison was also one of these women that had a healthy appetite, because she had huge amounts of energy, which in turn meant she stayed active and relatively fit, although not an exercise freak she did participate in the usual rollerblading, hiking, cycling and the like. "Uhm not really, just spend some time with family and friends, the usual." I answered. 'Please change the subject, please' I sighed privately. "Oh, there's Donnie!" Allison leaned in and whispered, "Too bad he's married." "I thought you were dating someone?" I inquired. "I'm always on the lookout for someone new...maybe...who knows..." Allison kept glancing over at Donnie as he walked across the patio. 'From now on, I'm eating in my office.' I thought as he made his way over to us, having such thoughts made me feel terribly guilty. All of the people that chatted with me on a daily basis we in fact nice people all around, which seemed to lay all of the blame at the feet of my introverted self. "Earth to Corbin." Donnie piped up. "Huh?" Damn, day dreaming again, I hate it when that happened in groups of people. "Oh sorry..." "You looked like you were somewhere else." He smiled. I jumped almost out of my seat as my cell phone went off; I snatched it out of my purse and looked at the display, "Nikki". Donnie and Alison were staring right at me and I wished I had super powers to make them vaporize into thin air so I could have privacy. "I'm sorry." I sighed and smiled and flipped open ear piece. "Hello?" I kept my voice low. "Hey love." Nikki said. "Let's do lunch, I'm on my way over." "I wish you had called earlier, I'm in the middle of eating." I fretted. "Damn!" Nikki huffed. "Who are having lunch with, I hear other people there!" Nikki prodded. "Just a couple of people from work." "Are any of them good looking? Are they hitting on you? Are you hitting on them?" Nikki barraged me with questions "I didn't really notice." I answered with a slight smile on my lips now because I knew where this was going. "Why did you hesitate? You're not telling me something." Nikki quickly followed up. "I'm going to hang up now." I threatened. "You better not!" Nikki balked and then laughed. "See ya tonight!" Nikki said. "Okay, see you, I love you!" I said. I hung up and realized Donnie and Alison were staring right at me, "What?" I froze. "Who was that!" Alison said, "I didn't know you were dating anyone!" AHHHH SHIT!!!! My mind blasted, they were eavesdropping, I let my guard down. "Yes I am, and it's a secret for now." I said. "Someone in the office? WHO!?" Allison leaned in. But I wouldn't tell, and eventually Donnie got up to leave as lunch was over. But Alison just watched him walk away and I shook my head and looked at her in despair, "He's married, try attaching yourself to a SINGLE guy!" I said. "Oh, I'm just having some harmless fun, besides, Donnie is safe, he's happily married" Allison reconciled. 'That's what you think' I thought to myself, Donnie had confided in me that his wife had been freezing him out and that she was showing signs of going astray...again, the very same signs that had surfaced when she had *almost* followed thru with an affair one time before. A number of people, mostly men, seemed to find it easy to confide in me, I kept my mouth shut and seemed well grounded. 'I wonder how well grounded they would think I was if they knew I was involved with another woman?' I wondered, 'What the hell am I thinking, all the men would think it was 'Awesome!'' I inwardly laughed. ********* On of the most important things that Nikki and I would do, was something actually very simple. We each would ask each other out on a date and then meet at the location separately. You see, she still had her place and I mine, even though we were months into seriously dating we were both cautious about taking the next BIG step. Interestingly, she called and asked that we meet at a nearby Museum and go for drinks after one Friday Night. My stomach had butterflies and my heart hammered all the way there. I tried to look my best, my hair and makeup as perfect as I could do, I had let my hair grow out allot, so it now flowed down over my shoulders. The soothing music floated down from overhead as I walked past the old masterpieces of Oil that hung on the Museum wall. The dark wood flooring gave the room a warm feel, but the walls might have been empty, I couldn't concentrate. I had stopped, staring not at the picture in front of me as my eyes were lost in thought, I seemed to focus more on the wood paneling that lined the wall. Fixated on the fine groves that some machine in a factory somewhere had etched to perfection. I still had my long black wool coat on and I had kept my hands in the pockets, nervously I would clench my fists. Then, my peripheral vision caught an approaching figure from my right, turning my head with the most casual of mannerisms I watched this woman approach, as if an apparition formed from the very thinness of air itself. Classic and beautiful was the best that I could do, and even that didn't seem really right as my heart jumped, Nikki was a sight to behold, moving as if she floated above the very floor upon which she walked and the cozy lighting of the Museum did nothing to diminish the quality that her skin always had. I caught my breath a second time and finally did smile. Nikki's look was full of confidence and calm, but sultry all at the same time. Nikki's sweet dark eyes, almost like black opals, as I watched those pupils of hers move over me. My own stare gravitated to Nikki's naked expanse of her upper chest, which shivers a bit with muscular contractions, she's wearing a very low cut top which hints at the ample cleavage further below. Spontaneously my right arm outstretches toward her and then we are alone, not literally, but we have that intensity whenever we are together at times, where it feels like nothing but the two of us. "Hello beautiful." Nikki whispers. "Hello yourself." I softly said. We started to walk thru that Museum, taking in a few pictures and relaxing, it was actually a very romantic experience. I had been staring at her face as she looked up at a rather large painting, her strong cheek bones and chin, perfect nose and lips, 'flawless' was all I could think. Why had she chosen me of all people? I wondered. "Thank you." I gushed and my lower lip trembled suddenly, I didn't even initially realize the words had left my mouth. She looked over at me, "For what?" She said and got immediately concerned at my emotional state. With only the paintings watching us from around the cozy, dark wood paneled room I observed how Nikki turned, her eyes studying me intensely. Her left hand came up, tingles ran up my spine as her hand invaded my yellow blonde hair, following it's length down my back. "For believing in us, all thru College and after," I started, my lips continued to quiver emotionally. Before I even finished my thoughts, tears filled up Nik's eyes and streaked down her cheeks, "and for that night over Christmas break when you kissed me." Nikki wrapped her arms around me and hugged me as tight as I could ever remember. "Thank you Corbin for returning my love." she wept and pulled away, briskly wiping away the tears with a smile, "Before I met you, I rarely ever cried, and now you have me tearing up all the time, your so wonderful to me." I was a little confused at first, I didn't understand where she was going and why she was now being the thankful one, and then she gave me the answer, "I still harbor some guilt over our split a couple of months back, when I wanted a break, to sort things out you know." I had no idea she carried so much guilt over that. "Nik!" I exclaimed, "Please don't be so hard on yourself, remember how I kept backing off in College and pushing you away?" I tried to remind her and share the blame, "I've had my moments." "Yeah but things were just getting started back in school, so you had every right. When I slammed on the brakes we were seriously dating, I wish I had never done that!" Nik looked actually angry, angry at herself, but I just held her hands and tried to comfort her. "I so wanted to be pissed at you for dating Robert." Nikki snapped as we left the Museum, "But I knew the breakup had blindsided you." "Well, I was just so devastated I wasn't thinking straight, I'm sorry, Robert was a nice guy but I was really mad and being spitefull toward you by dating him." I shrugged and frowned over at her, Nik nodded a little and I guess she already knew that. Nikki and I went next store to a coffee shop, we were getting allot of attention from the guys behind the counter and those already in the shop, but that was filtered out by the attention we seemed to be giving one another. Then things got suddenly quiet, or I should actually say Nikki suddenly got quiet as she looked down at her cup, she knew I was watching her and a smile came over her mouth. "Uh oh, what's up?" I ask. "I want to talk about, well, maybe us moving in together." Nikki said and blushed a little, rolling her head to the left and right a little bit while still looking down. "Ohhhhhh really." I said and sipped on my hot coffee, I couldn't help but form a big smile on my mouth. "Really." Nikki said and was being somewhat bashful and cute at my teasing. "Seems I had brought this subject up not too long ago and got a long lecture about how we needed to wait, and so on." I said. "I know, I know, but I needed to think about this." Nikki sighed. "So you've been doing more thinking without me?" I raised my eyebrows, partly serious and partly kidding. "Well, it's safer that way, you know what they say about blonde's trying to think." Nikki looked up at me with a smile of self satisfaction, after firing off that zinger. I kick the point of my shoe at her leg causing her to jump, "Owww! Damn that hurt!" Nikki reached under the table and rubbed her calf, "That's going to leave a bruise!" "You were saying about moving in?" I said. "I don't want to move in with you now, not if your going to be mean to me." She winced, I forgot I had heels on and that my shoes had a bit of point on them. "Sorry." I said and reached over to rub the back of her hand. We left the coffee shop and went back to her apartment, we indeed talked some more about moving in together and it seemed like it was a reality now, it was something we both wanted. ********** Nikki encouraged me to find what made me happy, Sharon always pushed me toward financial security even if it meant being unhappy at work. Nik was a physical therapist and taught Yoga and other forms of mediation, I bring this up because she loved everything she did and I knew that I wanted the same thing, to wake up and look forward to going into work. Not only that, but I felt like my true style was coming out more around Nikki, whereas Sharon tried to reshape and mold me for years into a more refined, sophisticated girl. That was fine for Sharon and Nikki, they were like that, they both dressed extremely well and seemed perfectly groomed in every way, it came to them with no effort it seemed. But Nikki always encouraged me to just be comfortable in my own skin. So it was only a matter of time before I was back to my casual, hippy, flip flop wearing ways. Indeed the transformation was more then just clothing, it was an emotional, psychological transformation that took place as well. I wore those hand made beads around my neck and wrist, ones that I would actually make myself, and tie-dyed shirts, and the most work I ever did to my hair was pulling it into a pony tail. It drove Sharon into a fit! When she saw all her work coming undone. My 'natural' look actually seemed to attract more attention from men, and yes Women. Of course I still hit the gym like I was possessed. :) There were still the rituals of plucking eyebrows, shaving my legs, even closer still if I was wearing a bikini. Then you have the skin creams and hoping that they store still carries that same scented lotions that I like to use on my hands and face, or legs, and on and on. Get the point? Probably not, but after awhile it becomes almost second nature, I don't even think about it anymore and I am VERY low maintenance for a girl. ********** So the owner of the Nursery asked that I come back in to chat a little bit more, he was concerned about my lack of knowledge but liked my enthusiasm for the job. He's an older guy and teased me that he would have to keep the other guys that worked there in line because he's never hired such an attractive girl before. The hours sucked, the pay sucks and the benefits suck. But I loved being outdoors; be it wind, rain, heat, cold or snow. By now it was March 2004 and believe it or not Dale had called me up to go out for lunch, he was hoping to reconnect with me but I told him that Nikki and I were more serious then ever. He did get me to admit that 'we' still had that spark whenever together, we caught up on old times and he told me had recently broken off an engagement to Tiffany, I about spit out my salad! "My god Dale!" I slumped back in my chair, I remember Tiffany from College and she was always trying to make Dale 'her man'. Just one thing stopped her, Dale wanted to be with ME not her and she hated my guts for that. We had lunch a couple of more times, and he even started hinting about how he always thought it would be the two of us getting married, that felt good to hear, take that you stinky old Tiffany! HA! *Aghem* "Gheesh Dale, how could you ever consider marrying her!" He laughed and shrugged but defended the fact that he had NOT married her. Anyway, a few days later I'm walking back to my townhouse and for a minute I think it's an illusion, but it's not, it's Tiffany! She had bolted from a car and did a fast walk towards me, she had been crying. Maybe she wants to give me a big, warm hug? "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" She screams and takes off running towards me. Okay, maybe she doesn't want to hug me. Damn she was fast, I barely had time to jump off the sidewalk and into the small patch of grass outside our Townhouse. She's on me fast and I crouch down, balling up into a turtle shell as her fists and feet start flying at me. I decided to totally take the abuse, Tiffany is no fighter and lacks strength and besides I can take it. Yes some of the punches stung but all-in-all it wasn't to bad, she gave my hair a good yank a couple of times which hurt. When she was winded and too tired to punch or kick me she started hurling insults, oh sure she yelled obscenities at me while hitting me, but it was hard to understand other then the odd curse word. "Stay the fuck away from Dale! You got me! Go find your own man!" I peaked over my shoulder and when I saw she was quickly walking back to her car I slowly stood up to shake off the attack. I stayed there staring at her in disbelief, I was pretty unemotional over the whole thing, bewildered more so, I mean can't I even go out to lunch with someone? Is that asking too much? Is this some kind of omen that anyone I try to befriend or rekindle some old friendship will end up with me being attacked? This is nuts! Dale was furious with Tiffany when he found out what happened, I didn't tell anyone and neither did Sharon, you see Tiffany went around bragging that she confronted me and I just ran scarred. Yeah, believe whatever you want wimp! ********* I was dying to get Nikki to join my Martial Arts school and I always asked her to attend our school competitions. "You ready?" She would ask. "No, I think I'm going to puke" I chuckled when it was almost time to be paired up with my first opponent, It wasn't like I was competing against some stranger I knew all these people, this was just a school competition, but I always get nervous before competitions. "Last minute jitters?" Nikki smiled. I watched her intently, I could see the spark in her eyes at all the people and I know she really liked martial arts, hell she's the one that got me into it. I walked to the edge of the mat and took a deep breath and crossed the divide towards the waiting referee. The other girl, almost my height with light brown hair, a bit thinner was giving me her best glaring staredown, to which I raised a unconcerned eyebrow. "Do you understand?" The referee asked again, and I looked up with surprise, had I missed everything he said, but nodded 'yes' anyway. Gheesh I'm such a space cadet. "Yes" I verbally confirmed to which the girl across form me looked amused at my confusion. I didn't even remember the girl's name anymore...I was that nervous and she goes to my school!! Being beginners, we had to start from the ground, me kneeling, placed in the other girl's guard. I positioned my hands on the girl's uniform and waited for the referee to signal the beginning of the match. Again, I was day dreaming, but the next thing I knew my opponent was moving with agility and speed. "Shit" I cursed under my breath as the girl had already scooted her body from underneath my frame, and like a crab was working her way around to my back. Matters went from bad to worse when I mentally locked up, I began to struggle, not using a single technique I had learned. I was still on all fours, with only seconds having elapsed, the girl had quickly taken my back...successfully hooked her feet into my inner thighs and began to snake her right arm down around the my neck. When I felt the arm close in around my exposed throat that seemed to snap me back to reality a bit. Then, I heard Nikki's voice calling out in support, it really did motivate me to hear Nikki's encouragement. The other girl's friends were loudly cheering her on now, "You got her Mary...take her now!" the cries came more frequently in favor of my opponent, undoubtedly a few of the girls wanted to see me get taken down quickly, thus humbled. I made a mental note, had it not been for the supportive cheers of my opponent, I might not ever remember that girl's name. Indeed, the girl for whom the chants were intended was inspired to hear her friends cheering as I felt her pace increase. Bad news for me, as her arm was just about in position now, it was actually a little disheartening to loose so easily. I mean come on people, do you think I'm a total dummy? WELL? I shot my legs out, snapping the girl's legs from where they were hooked around my inner thighs and pressed my pelvis into the matt. This didn't seem to concern the girl on my back at first, not until my left hand grabbed the girl's right wrist and my right hand grabbed her right bicep. No real technique here, I just basically pulled away her arm, in what appeared to be effortless on my part. Yeah, yeah, I basically muscled my way out. I reached back and cupped my left hand around the back of my opponent's neck, while retaining the grip on the brunette's right arm. This instantly caused my opponent to start a counter maneuver, but that was what I anticipated and I bucked upward violently while still pulling down, which sent the brunette's butt up and over in mid air. It must have been quite the spectacle, as it momentarily silenced Mary's supporters. Mary groaned as her ass hit the matt, her legs flopped loosely out in a 'V'. She's moving to twist away, but wasn't fast enough as I reeled her in and took the girl's back. I watched the girl reach her left arm out to brace herself for leverage, it made an inviting target and I grabbed the girl's wrist, sweeping it out from under her. The girl moaned barely above a whisper, but I heard it and renewed my focus. With new found ferocity, I jerked the girl's arm behind her back while muscling her face first onto the matt. With my right arm around the girl's neck and my left firmly locking the girls left arm up between her shoulder blades...it was only a matter of time. Mary squealed, she couldn't tap, her right arm was pinned under her body and her friends cried foul, so she proceeded to tap her left foot on the matt. The referee quickly interceded and I let go, sitting back on my butt, in a daze and a bit dumbfounded. I watched Mary slowly pull her arm from behind her back and shook it out. I sat up to my knees and pulled the mouth guard from my teeth, before I could say anything, the ref was there, in-between us and he raised my arm in the air. "I can't believe it." I smiled, evidently happy but still stunned. "I can." Nikki said, and walked up to me giving me a hug, it caught us both off guard. "You have so much talent." She brushed some of my hair from my face. "Although you muscled your way thru that win, you barely used any techniques or skill, it's like you forgot everything." "I thought I did okay near the end there?" I pointed back to the matt defensively but I understood her critique and she was basically right. My next match pitted me against a girl named Shana, who was earning a reputation as a well skilled grappler. She wasn't as tall as me, but seemed to be of stocky build. I struggled at first and fell behind early in the match to my more experienced opponent. I would just muscle my way out of holds, but Shana would quickly maneuver to another hold. But, as our battle wore on, my superior conditioning began to make itself felt. Shana was on her back and I put her head in a reverse head lock, cranking her neck until she quickly slapped my back. I helped the exhausted and demoralized Shana to her feet and off to the sidelines, we were both sweating but Shana appeared totally winded. There now remained only the final match, I would face one of the best girl's in our class who actually outweighed me! Despite her advantage in size, Roberta couldn't match my speed and strength. I either slipped out of every hold she tried to get me into, or simply broke out; It felt like I had found my rhythm and appeared to be utilizing everything I had learned, finally! Slowly but surely I wore my large opponent down, my relentless attacks coupled with my stamina proved to be too much for Roberta. The tap out came with a respectable applause, I quickly subdued my emotions and retreated off the matt into the safe confines of my friend's who huddled around me protectively. I was like a deer in headlights, my hand felt detached as I grabbed the small but prestigious trophy, nothing compared to the more 'Expert' divisions of the competition. And those male admirers were there, they had closed in on me and Nikki, chatting it up. Had I been dating guys still, these were the type of men I would be drawn to; Confident, lean and in excellent, peak physical condition. But I was also being sized up by some other women at the competition, and these were not just any women, but girls that were competing at much higher levels of expertise and there glares bespoke open challenges. These tournaments also attracted people from other schools, some came to check out the competition, to even be so bold as to solicit me and other members to join their school. I got used to being sized up from girls that attended other rival schools, all sports having competitive elements like this. ********* It was one of those chilly days that you can feel all over your skin. My face felt blushed red from the icy cold temperatures. Billows of condensation puffed from everyone's mouths as we fractured into groups to make our plans. Wait, let me backup, I had been out for a short walk but found myself at the nearby University Park, and now in another game of football. Things would have been just fine, if it wasn't for the fact that the red-head was also here, it was like deja vu all over again, she on one team while I was on the other and she still had this monumental chip on her shoulder, or so it seemed to me. But I knew it wasn't my imagination, Carrie had been sticking it to me every opportunity she could. I lowered me head, collected my thoughts and just resigned to taking it on the chin, I was determined this time not to get into an altercation. It seems that my ability to stay focused and avoid a fight with Carrie was not going to hold up very well. So anyway, I blame Carrie for the next series of events, she decided to take a cheap shot by hitting me with her elbow in my back as she and another person tackled me. So, in a moment of very uncharacteristic behavior, I calculated and waited for the game to end. When it did, I started walking, not towards Carrie, but around to the right to out flank her, I wasn't exactly sure what I had in mind yet...but I went with the flow and then turned to my left abruptly when it seemed Carrie and I could have a moment alone. 'Just be cool' I remember telling myself, blocking out all other thought and then my heart seemed to jump into overdrive. It seemed surreal, Carrie was standing, looking down at her football, totally oblivious to my approach, so whatever moment of happy self-reflection was going on, was about to be abruptly ended. The sore spot on my back from her elbow was helping to prod me along. Basically I walked right into her, bashing the front of my body right against hers making her stumble back and she dropped the ball. "What the fuck!" Carrie spat. I had come at Carrie from this angle on purpose, my back to the group of people that had started to scatter to the far end the field, hoping I could keep our little confrontation private for a few more seconds at least. I watched Carrie's pupils dart off to the side, trying to look over my shoulder, that was the exact sign I was looking for and I had leaned slightly to block her view. "Don't look to them for help, this is between me and you." I kept my voice low, "Let's cut thru the crap bitch, you want to get it on with me, then come on." and pushed my forehead into Carrie's, "I'm tired of you taunting me on this field, because let me tell you, if that's the best you can give, I'm going to break you, right here, right now, in front of everyone." Hey look at that, I can talk pretty good smack when I want to. "What the fuck is your problem?" Carrie instantly snapped. "You! Don't *act* like you haven't been going out of your way to pick something with me. Now you got it, I'll even give you the first hit, go ahead." I stepped in some more and pushed my whole body against Carrie's. Surprisingly, Carrie took a step back, but didn't lash out at me, she looked like she was trying to think of some response. I smirked at Carrie's moment of indecision, and suddenly leaned over, "I think I'll keep this." I quickly snatched the football from the ground and started to walk away. "That's mine!" Carrie frantically walked towards me, "I want my ball back!" "Or what?" I said with a smile on my face. "Fucking give it back!" "No" I sighed. "Why!" "Cause you're a bitch." I said and held it up, "But if you think you're woman enough to take it from me? Come get it! Until then, it's MINE!" snapped. I then turned and kept walking. I admit I felt a little bad for taking the ball, like some bully, but screw it. Besides, I was going to give it back to her eventually. ********** Nikki, Sharon and I had gone out with some other friends for drinks, but I was still in a pissed mode from my run in with Carrie, I told Nikki about it and she told me I had to give the ball back! She was disappointed that I almost got into a fight. The restaurant we went to was turning into quite the place to be, a few acquaintances had joined and the table of people had grown from three, to five...to eight. Most of the amusing action could be spotted at the massive bar that ran the length of the place. A waitress showed up almost immediately to take our order, she looked over- worked and tired, "Rough night?" I looked up with sympathetic eyes. "Oh yeah." She rolled her eyes, and I watched as she seemed to roll them in the direction of a group of rowdy guys over at the other end of the bar. Nothing angered me more then groups of guys who felt obligated to be obnoxious, rude, cheap and just plan shitty to girls because they can be, wanna-be or have no manners at all. I sat sipping on my whiskey sour, my right eye periodically roaming the lengthy of the bar, but it still ended up on the group of about five loud 'dudes' that were having a good time. I was trying to settle *in* but it was impossible; every time I would try and start a conversation with someone at my end of the table, some ass would saunter up to the table and 'hit' on us. 'Well, this looks like a night of having my nerves plucked one after the other.' I thought as I shifted in my seat, in a very agitated manner. I cast my eyes to the ceiling above and it was as if every sound in the establishment was rising up, hitting the hardwood ceiling and being redirected back down at me, to which I could only take a deep breath and sip on my drink, hoping the alcohol would help dull my edgy nerves. Nikki sensed my state of agitation, oh that and I was having my period as well, and she kept reaching under the table to rub her hand over my jeans. For some reason, I kept a overly protective eye on the waitress. Perhaps, I had strong empathetic feelings for women who worked 'the grind' in jobs like this and it gave me something to do. My nerves were starting to settle as I scanned the room periodically, I was in fact what one would classify as a 'people- watcher', although I tried to do so with the utmost discretion. I had subconsciously leaned back in my chair when some guy's fat ass blocked my view, forcing me to tilt the chair back another inch and watched one of the guys brush his hand against the back of the waitresses butt, while a buddy of his made belittling remarks to a girl walking past their group on her way back from the ladies room. My moment of objective voyeurism was smashed apart as the final straw landed...I had had enough. I slammed the two front feet of my chair down, while setting down my drink. I was out of my chair and moving thru the crowd before Nikki caught on to what had just transpired. 'I am sick and tired of these mother fuckers' My mind seared, I felt flushed from pumping blood as my heart was pounding in my chest. I pushed my way thru the jam packed bar, I didn't know who I was at this time, not any longer. My body slipped thru the crowd as if guided by some invisible force. When I got within two feet of the group of about five guys, mostly college, none of them appeared to be anything special to look at. The closest guy had his back to me, his heavy checkered shirt was un-tucked and he had a baseball cap on...'backwards of course' I noted. I hit the back of his right shoulder with the open palm of my left hand and then took one step back. I suppose I whacked him on the shoulder too hard, he jumped like he had been punched instead, what a puss, he tilted forward almost spilling his beer. "Hey! What the fuck!" He caught his balance and turned around pissed, I wasn't wearing anything special, just a grey t-shirt and some old, faded jeans, but he stopped cussing, and started looking me up and down thru a beer induced haze before finally saying "What the hell was that about?" "You can start, by shutting the fuck up!" I snapped, jabbing my right forefinger in his face, and when he saw me not smiling he suddenly lost his smile as well. "Hey, chill out!" Another dumb struck guy piped up from the back of their group while the guy on the other end of my finger stood dumbstruck. "Listen dick face, I've been sitting over there with my friends, and we've been having to listen to your sorry asses spout vomit for the past half hour. No wonder all of you are standing round circle-jerking each other because no woman would have anything to do with you." "What the hell is your problem?" The guy to my immediate right snapped. "Why don't you turn your own ASS around and scurry back to your table bitch!" Another inebriated guy slurred. By now, much of the bar/restaurant had started to grow quiet as my confrontation took center stage. Turning to the guy that told me to scurry back to my table, I spoke "Well lard ass..." again my right forefinger went into action and prodded his noticeable gut, "...the problem is YOU and your BUTT buddies and the way your mouth has been running like a broken toilet for the past several minutes. But before I go back to my table, how about I smack you upside your BITCH head with my fist!" "Hey! What's going on?" The bartender leaned over and couple of people that looked like 'Management' and bouncers were flanking us. "Are you the manager?" I barked at the bartender. "What's the problem?" The Managerial looking guy to my left suddenly spoke up. "I'm sitting over there with my friends and getting sick of these losers standing around and spewing profanity at every girl that walks by. So if you want me and my friends over there to hang around, ask these morons to shut up!" "I tell you what, I want YOU," Looking at me, and then to the group of guys, "and ALL OF YOU, to be quiet and go back to trying to have a decent time or everyone's out of here! Got it!" I guess he has a point, I should have gone thru proper channels to resolve this first. But one of the guys wasn't happy with that answer and started to argue that they had been jumped, by me, for no reason. "Save it." I heard the Manager say as I turned around to walk back to my table, but bumped right into Nikki, who was looking at me, she was pissed. "What was all that about?" She asked as we went back to the table, and I knew she wasn't asking about the argument, she wanted to know why I had suddenly snapped. "I dunno, I just blew my top." I slumped my shoulders forward, she didn't ask anymore questions but I know I would have some explaining to do when we got back to her apartment. Everyone was laughing around me and having a good time, while my nerves began to fray again, I looked around and watched a couple of guys doing shots of beer while another guy and girl were locked in a full blown kiss in the far corner of the bar. My eyes roamed back to where Nikki sat and she was actually having a nice conversation with someone to her right, some girl, I don't recall. I was on the verge of loosing it again, and the next thing I knew I was standing, "I need to run out to the car for a second." I blurted out and began pushing my way thru the crowd before Nikki could even respond. When I got outside into the cool night air it felt good for few seconds as I walked in the direction of the parking lot. "Fuck!" I cursed as I began to cry, I couldn't stop it from starting and so I just let it out. Why was I upset? Because I have these massive waves of guilt after blowing my top like that, and Nikki being mad at me only made it worse, and yes I'm also on my period so I'm very emotional right now. "Corbin!" I heard Nikki's voice approach as I leaned against the car, "What's wrong, why are you crying!" she was pulling on my shoulders trying to talk to me. "Because of what happened, because of how I acted!" I started sobbing again and pushed off from the car to pace around in circles, "I've ruined our night out, I'm sorry." "Let's go." Nikki said and opened the car up, guiding me to the passenger side. "Baby it's okay, really." Nikki kept looking over at me and rubbing her hand along my shoulder and leg. But my little cry baby episode didn't stop Nikki from telling me a thing or two when we got back to her place. "The next time you feel like blowing up, could you tell me first or let me know something is bothering you, instead of letting it build until you can't contain it." She said pouring me a glass of water. "I know, I'm sorry I'll really try harder." I groaned, yeah fat chance with that, I sort of get set in my ways. ********* So I've never been skiing and Nikki has been wanting to get me to ski for a long time now. She finally convinced me to head up to Snowshoe in West Virginia for a few nights, oddly enough, as athletic as I am I was nervous about learning how to ski. No big deal, fly into WV, rent a car and stay at the lodge. Okay, wait, Nikki nixed the whole fly thing, too expensive so we drive *groan*bitch*complain* gheesh. It's early evening when we check in and get to the hotel room, we were both tired form the drive but hungry and went to the Restaurant for a bite to eat, of course it was packed so we had to squeeze into a table at the bar and order drinks until a dinner table was available. And that's when it started, it's unavoidable and inevitable; The pick up lines. The buying us drinks. Inviting us to share a table and eat. Depending on my mood I just take it as a compliment and grin, acknowledge a little appreciation, but then decline. Nikki is far more gracious and smooth at deflecting attention. We were practically shoulder to shoulder with other patrons as Nik and I talked about what to do tomorrow, should I just sign up for lessons, should she try teaching me on her own. Someone bumped my left shoulder and I looked over, it was a rather harsh bump, our eyes met and I smiled as he apologized quickly letting him know it was 'no big deal'. That smile was a mistake, guys immediately read more into a smile then they should, but I wasn't thinking. Normally I nod, give a flat expression and quickly turn away, but then my slow brain realized the bump was on purpose, my gut told me this by the way, you see he was all too eager to apologize and the way he smiled back at me. I could feel him still glancing back over at me and watching, either at me, or was it Nikki he was after? Depends on a man's taste, if you want fair skin and blonde hair I'm your target, dark skin and black hair, Nikki is for you, but she's mine and you can't have her! So anyway, I have recently started to cut guys a bit of slack because they can't possible know that when Nikki and I are all 'dolled up', it's for each other and not to get attention from guys, or anyone for that matter. Also the fact that we have been told on numerous occasions that we do not look, act or carry ourselves as lesbians, whatever that means. Well, I know what it means, it's a reference to the gross dykes and their butch attitudes. So, I stood trying to get back into the conversation with Nik, but she's smiling at me now, giving this 'I know what's up' look because she has a better view of the two guys to my left then I do. As I said earlier, Nikki and I had washed up from the car ride and put on fairly nice dresses. Add a subtle hint of perfume, a little gloss on the lips, fluffed up my ever straight blonde hair, combined with my low cut top to show off my nice cleavage, and suddenly Nikki and I were on the most wanted list at the resort. Don't get too sick reading that above paragraph, I know it sounds like I am so full of myself, but I don't think so. My see thru sleeves helped show off my toned arms which most guys really are into, more then most will admit. "Hi," finally comes his voice again, the man that bumped my shoulder, and they are turning towards us, introductions are made and we began talking. He was about my height, of medium build and a nice looking physique under the layering of clothing. My brain started that chemical spark that happens when I like someone, and I knew Nikki was having the same feelings I was. These guys are attractive, smart, and genuinely likeable, exactly the type that Nikki and I would date if we were both single that is. So we made small talk with them and we know where this is going, so Nikki smiles at each of them, they drool, cause she has that effect on men. Now that she's getting they're full attention, Nik proceeds to give them the lowdown; "We are together, a couple." And grabs my hand. That comment is met with pause, then some degree of suspicion and surprise, but the more we talked the more the two guys realized that Nik and I are indeed very serious, and not just deflecting their advance or throwing excuses their way. Apparently, even with this new insight into our relationship status, the two men were undeterred as they eagerly invite us to their table when they are called up for dinner. Nikki and I just look at one another and shrug, so we decide to just kick back and relax with our two new friends, after all, these guys seem nice, handsome, well educated and about our age. We still get peppered with questions about how we met and if we still liked guys, all standard stuff we are used to, in fact our answers are so automatic now we seem to finish each other's statements, it's rather funny. The nice thing about Erik and Matthew (our two new friends) was that they sort of 'got the hint', when Nikki and I did not return their flirting. Allot of dense guys simply think Nikki and I are simply dating each other until the right guy comes along, or until the right pickup line is used. No, Nik and I make it very clear that we are deeply in love and committed to just each other, no other prospects, not now...not ever! We insist on paying our own way, even when Nikki gets fairly stern and irritated, the guys make it clear that it's the gentlemanly thing to do and we can go ahead and get as pissed-off as we want, 'We are buying' they say. "Aren't we cramping your style?" I ask as we get up to leave the Resort restaurant, I discreetly point at the bar full of women and men mingling about. Eric just smiles a little, holds his head up and then sighs, "Not a bit, you're the two most beautiful women at this resort, I'd rather hang out with you two then anyone else." Hmm, Nikki and I are just as susceptible to flattery as the next person, so why not, they know the Snowshoe scene and slopes, we don't. Nikki can ski, but I can't, so the more help I get the better. They also offer to show us around the next day and we agree, they wanted to hit a bar after dinner but Nikki and I are tired and tell them 'Good hunting' at the bar as we head to our room. And just to make sure they understand the platonic nature of our relationship, Nikki and shake their hands when parting. We set a morning time to meet for breakfast and wave goodbye. "Think it sunk in?" I asked. "Not a chance." She smiles. We were tired when we got back to our room, but do you think Nik and I were too tired to make love? LOL! NEVER! So we were up early the next morning and down for breakfast, also we did not expect to see Eric or Matthew there, but there they were! I was shocked. Either they really did want to hang out as friends or they still believed there was some chance that they could sway Nikki and/or I to be receptive to their advances. The moment we stepped into the ski rental shop I was a deer in headlights, getting fitted for boots and they are a pain in the ass to walk in. My attire is pretty basic, a full length ski suite that is a bit on the large side, but Nikki's grey and black suite is more form fitting and her 'kick ass' figure is turning every guys head. "I'm not getting on that thing, hell no!" I said looking at the ski lift as it circled around and scooped up people before heading back up the mountain. "We'll have them stop if for you." Said Erik. So with a few pointers, like doing the 'snow plow' technique to begin with, I was off down the slope to the pickup point. So, I admit it, skiing is a blast! It's allot of fun, I wanted to try the snow boarding as well, something Nikki had not tried, but Erik and Matthew were already adept at that as well. And I also admit, having Erik and Matthew (not Matt, I call him Matthew, I hate the name Matt.) around became very handy. They were patient with me, and it gave Nikki and I excellent cover, as in everyone thought these two guys were our boyfriends, so we got little to no hassles! Plus now that Nik and I had recovered from the drive, we could all hang out late tonight and party with our friends. While learning to ski, I did check my pride at the door, I would always end up trying to go faster then I should and I would eat it, there was always some guy(s) that would slam on the breaks and help me up. I kid you not, the minute I would thank some guy who helped me up, he would introduce himself and ask where I was staying. Matthew told me as we rode the lift up together that once he became resided to just being friends with me, it took allot of pressure off him and made everything much more enjoyable. 'But it's a struggle not to act on my impulses.' he said which made me smile, and is very true, both Matthew and Erik would become extra 'personable' at night when we all started drinking, they would be extra touchy-feely with Nikki and I. We gave them a slight pass, sometimes, with the hugging or draping an arm over my shoulder because they were really nice guys. I even allowed a kiss on the cheek, once or twice, but I would turn my head quickly when one would go in for a kiss on the lips. The one thing that was kind of a put off while going into the local breakfast shop and ski resorts, was having to deal with the year round ski bums, or whatever the hell you want to call them, young guys and girls that work up there in the winter just so they can ski, that part is fine, the skiing. It's the whole 'Yeah man, cool dude' acting all laid back and relaxed, haven't a care in the world. What a bunch of crap! I may look all relaxed myself, because of how I dress and wear my hair, just kind of all natural and everything, but am one wound tight girl. I tense up easily and tend to get snippy if I think someone is being fake with me, my best defense is to keep all small talk to a minimum while cruising in and out of these local shops, gives the impression I'm a snob, but better then having to try and engage in some chit chat with a local. So what started this whole rant was walking into order breakfast at this small place that turned out to be 'the local' place to get breakfast. A bunch of obnoxious guys are behind the counter taking orders and cooking breakfast. There is this one guy, not bad looking, serving up way too much honesty this morning when Nikki and I stepped up to the counter, he seemed to be in a really good mood, so good that he just stopped what he was doing and blurted out; "Damn! You to girls are looking hot!" My blood pressure went thru the roof and I felt my facial muscles twist in anger, Nikki grabbed my wrist and stepped in front of me and smiled at the guy and gave him our order. "That crap is so demeaning!" I seethed as I stabbed my fork into my scrambled eggs. "There, there." Nikki smiles and pats the back of my hand, "You'll live." Nothing much more to tell about that trip, we did go out dancing with Matthew and Erik that night, and had allot of fun, had to keep the guys at arms length when they wanted to dance a little too close. And Nikki even went about setting them up with someone other girl's at the bar, seems it's a nice icebreaker to have a couple of girls run interference for guys. Erik and Matthew can sure enough fend for themselves, but they were such nice guys that Nik and I felt bad for monopolizing all of their time, so Nik approached a table with a couple of girls at this one bar and asked if they wanted to join us, they did. The two girls we invited over didn't know what to think, why were Nik and I asking them to join us, and then why were we trying to steer them towards these two handsome guys at our table. 'Was it a joke? A prank of some kind?' Nik and I were upfront, explaining that Erik and Matthew were really just our friends, strictly platonic/handshake friends 'Because you see, Nikki and I are already committed, to one another.' The look on their faces was pretty amusing, and the reaction that followed was also pretty interesting, once they realized that Nik and I were not competition, suddenly the two ladies were much more relaxed and inviting to sit down and just hang out. Things seemed to be going pretty well, so Nik and I retired for the evening, hoping that our match making plans had worked out for the best.