My Story 48 By Corbin How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman. ********** "Guarding yourself From the love of another Left you with nothing tonight Why does it sound like The devil is laughing Leaving me haunted tonight" -Disturbed ********** I should have been born in ancient Roman times so I could kick ass in the Coliseum. What drives me to think like that? Well, when the series 'Rome' was on HBO it was one of the very few shows I watch faithfully. Call me crazy because I don't see any women fighting or were there? But women do play a pivotal role in many of the scenes and from I have read this show tries to be historically accurate. Anyway, it was such a bloodthirsty, lustful era that I can easily picture myself fighting, loving and living life to the fullest. Yes I know times were also brutal and harsh, sometimes I think I was born in the wrong century. ********** I'm driving into work two weeks ago and pull up to this stop sign, I'm just sitting there for a few seconds when I happen to look up into the rear view mirror and notice this green pickup truck coming up behind me. 'Hmmm, that truck is coming up mighty fast.' Is my first thought... 'Oh shit' is my next thought and then BAM!!! The fucker rear-ends me! The back of my head whacks the headrest, shit it happened so fast. So I turn off the car, my heart is hammering fast and for some reason I want to kick his ass. What an oblivious idiot, how does anyone run into the back of a vehicle sitting still! The guy gets out of his truck but I'm already looking at the back of my car...my whole back bumper is cracked, AHH MAN!! THIS SUCKS!! "You okay? You okay?" He kept asking while I'm kneeling down inspecting my poor bumper. His words haven't even registered yet as all I could think was that Sharon is going to kill me. (Why am I thinking that? Because this used to be her car, a 2004 Nighthawk Black Acura 2 door coupe, she loved this car, although I'm not crazy about black, but it will do. But when her parents bought her a new sporty BMW *gag me with a shovel* she gave me this car. I was happy with my Honda Civic, a car I've had since my high school days but she insisted that I accept her present, but the moment of true shock came when I went out on Autotrader.com to look up the value, I'm still floored by this act of generosity on her part.) So the police show up after a quick cell call and the whole process was pretty painless. I dropped my car off at the body shop, got a ride over to the rental car place and now I'm driving this 2006 Nissan, you would think it would be super nice right? Well let me say this, Nissan sucks! This rickety bucket of bolts rattles, squeaks and is just a plain piece of crap! 'Was that a pot hole I just ran over? No it wasn't, this car just drives like a heap of crap. Later that day after the accident my neck was kind of sore and I got worried that something more serious was wrong, so I just went home early from work and took a nap. When I woke up the soreness was gone, thank goodness, it freaked me out for a few hours that day. Moving on... Thank god! This past Saturday morning was our final Soccer game and wouldn't you know it those little stinkers finally pulled it all together and played the best game they have ever played. We played against the first team from back in the beginning of the season, they beat us pretty solid the first go around, this time we spanked their butts. So obviously I was such a great Coach that I brought them along to another level of playing, while the other teams remained stagnate in their skills. :) I now have my Saturday mornings back again. ********** "So where have YOU been? You two love birds pull an all-nighter?" Vera teased as I came strolling into the kitchen later that morning. "Vera!" I quickly turned away to hide my blushing cheeks, "Stop it! We just spent some time out on the beach and stuff...you know..." "So, how does it feel to be 'Out of the closet'?" Vera pulled me aside and boldly asked. I think I tensed and cringed a bit, but found the courage to let myself relax as my left hand came up and brushed several strands of hair over my left ear. Giving a firm smile and a light shrug of my shoulders, "I still feel the same." Gathering my gym bag I let Nikki know I was heading across the street to the clubhouse, I gave her bare shoulder peaking out from the covers a soft nudge, "You wanna go?". "Absolutely.' She rolls over and smiles, I shouldn't be surprised, Nikki is as athletic as I am, I guess I am just used to Sharon's prissy, flaky attitude about exercise. I had this big smile on my face as I thought about having Nikki with me at the gym on a regular basis, 'So nice to have some company on a regular basis now.' "What are you looking at?" Nikki gave me a sly smile as she strode to the bathroom. What was I looking at indeed! Seems that I had been caught just standing there staring at her beautiful nude body, that's what I was looking at, and I'll add she has incredible posture when she walks, or stands or what the hell ever she is doing. "At you!" I said and leaned forward with some exaggerated effort. I used to cry when I looked at Nikki like this, to have these emotional and sexual feelings for another girl, but now it feels so right that I don't think twice about it. "Stop." I say as she is about to close to the door to the bathroom. "Hmmm?" She sighs and turns around, I walk up and slip my left hand around and gently cup her right butt, I take my time to feel it's perfectly smooth roundness and press my body in close. She's grinning from ear to ear as we hold each other, I'm fully dressed but am starting to have second thoughts about the gym this morning. I kiss her on the cheek and nuzzle my nose and lips over her face. We stand for several seconds, just enjoying one another. "I'll wait down in the foyer." I whisper. "What a tease, but I won't be long." Nikki sighs. When I heard the shower start I quickly pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled out some sweet, loving words of love to my girlfriend. Lord help me, I have turned into this gushing, love struck, giddy fool, and all I can do is smile like some big goof as I gently place the note on her pillow before I head out of the bedroom. I was heading down the stairs when I passed Sharon in the hallway, but something was wrong, very wrong and I paused, doing a 180 to follow her back to her room. "You okay." I asked. "Yep, fine." Sharon said. 'For crying out loud, what now!' So I set my gym bag down and stood for a second to see if she was going to open up voluntarily or was going to have to pry things open. Her fingers moved about the dresser aimlessly until they slowly dropped to her side and she shrugged a little before looking over at me. "I guess I should be all happy for you and Nikki, I mean, well you seem happier then I have ever seen you before." Sharon looked over at me with this sad smile, but there was a definite hint of jealousy, even spitefulness when she said 'Nikki'. Well I guess I could be a hard ass and tell Sharon off, or I could try and be the good friend and listen to what she has to say. I turned around and sat down on her bed, I rested both of my palms on the top of my knees while taking a few measured breaths, "Will you sit down next to me Sharon?" I looked up and sort of smiled. She did, but there was an odd distance between us. "So what now? You will be moving out? Moving in with Nikki now? Is that the plan?" Sharon suddenly began rattling off questions and her entire attitude suddenly got hostile. "Nothing will happen now Sharon, Nikki and I are dating, but I am sure we will move in together, at least that is what I hope!" I said back defensively, "Why are you acting like this?" "How do you expect me to act, huh? I'm loosing my best friend and it hurts like hell Corbin, I'm sorry, it just blindsided me, seeing you two together!" Sharon bolted to her feet walking toward a window so she was facing away from me, her arms were wrapped tight across her chest and I knew she was crying now, well a little maybe, and doing a good job of suppressing it. I stood and walked up behind her, I cautiously reached up and gripped her on the shoulders gently, so far so good, no explosive reaction that Sharon can be known for. "You are one of my dearest friends that I have Sharon, please understand that I'm not choosing Nikki over you as a friend, I can't help who I want to get romantically involved with." Wow, where did that bit of rational come from? I thought I did pretty well at explaining myself. I tugged on her left shoulder so she would turn around, because I was pretty good at reading Sharon's expressions. Finally she turned but kept her head lowered, I affectingly wiped the tears off her cheeks as I pulled her into a hug. 'I sure hope Sharon gets her shit together' was all I could think, I really didn't need any meddling on her part. Even though Nikki and I were now together, seriously together, it still felt like our relationship would be tested in the weeks and months to come. I hoped, maybe naively on my part, that my closest friends would be there to support us, and for the most part they were, but I figured I best be on guard. Sharon was holding something back, but I didn't have the time or patience to console her any more, I wanted to catch up with Nikki. Sure enough she was waiting for me in the foyer. "Hey, sorry, I was talking with Sharon." I flicked my thumb over my shoulder and rolled my eyes. "Everything okay?" Nik asked with genuine concern. I told her everything Sharon and I talked about, that the one thing I try to always do, tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. That is especially true in relationships, doesn't matter if it's same sex or opposite sex. Nikki tugged on my left elbow as I reached for the front door, I turned and she quickly pulled me into an embrace, snuggly wrapping her hands around the base of my spine. "I love you, thank you." She softly moaned and kissed me on the lips while gently brushing her crotch against mine. I knew what she was talking about the note I left her. "Your welcome." I smiled and my eyelids dropped a little as I felt my body respond to her touch. "You sure you want to go to the gym right now?" Nikki kissed me on the lips again, "You've got me very horny right now." To hell with the gym! "Okay you two, break it up!" Rachel and Kelly came bouncing down the stairs, we practically jumped out of our skins and Nikki laughed while I cursed, I hate getting scared like that. They didn't do it on purpose but sometimes I zone out so much I couldn't hear an elephant charging towards me. Anyway, rain check on the sex as the mood was broken, so we headed out into the early mid morning sun and I had to admit that I did feel different thinking back to Vera's query back up in the kitchen this morning, in fact the whole world felt different now. I fought off the waves of insecurity as everyone we passed on the sidewalk didn't just look at us, they almost seemed to stare deep into our inner most feelings, it was as if Nikki and I radiated our feelings for one another. I kept thinking about a phrase I had once heard, 'Taking great risks in life...and the potential for great rewards' I couldn't recall the exact way it went, but it scared me to think I could love anyone as intensely as Nikki and to have my love returned back with the same intensity, it made my knees weak and my heart pound in my chest. I had caught myself smiling openly as I walked now, a couple of guys would stop and turn towards either me or Nikki, or both of us, but we just kept on walking my face upturned towards the sun for a brief second, my eyes closing to feel the warmth of the rays as I thought back to last night and suddenly a chill swarmed over my body causing my mind, body and spirit to feel alive, sexually alive no less. I signed in at the front desk and observed that there was a pool and Jacuzzi, hmm. So I trudged up the stairs to the second level, this was a modest workout facility, a few free weights, your standard treadmills and elliptical machines. First thing I did was to turn off the A/C and open all the windows. It was wonderful, with the sound of the ocean only a few yards away and a nice breeze blowing thru the room now. I first decided to start with some free weights normally I don't start with something heavy, but as I said I felt totally energized and psyched from the previous night with Sharon. But wait, the largest they have is 55? What the hell? What a slack establishment! I *was* looking for the 70lb weights, oh well better then nothing I guess. So I pull a couple off the rack and sit down on the bench to begin my chest/bench press. I did a set of eight, then put the weights down so as to sit up and stretch. With my back to the window I felt a nice breeze hit me in the back and I took a deep breath before laying back down and continuing with my next set, Nikki was now kneeling at the head of the bench to spot me. She knows me better then anyone and we help each other out in the gym, like a well oiled machine. One thing about Nik is she can be quiet for long periods of time, this unnerves people and especially rattled her previous boyfriends who were always afraid something was wrong when she was quiet, but that is just how she is, it's always made me feel at peace to be around her. "One more." She says, not loudly, but her voice is reassuringly soft as she helps me push the dumbbells up one last rep. "Thanks." I gasp and sit up on the bench, not more then two seconds go by when I feel her sit down behind me, her hands begin massaging my neck and shoulders. There it is, that feeling is now spreading from stomach, down into my thighs and between my legs. My left hand drops some and I softly rub the top of her bare left thigh and run it up under her shorts. I turn my head to the left and smile, I don't even mind the annoying droplets of sweat trickling off my nose and eyebrows, "Now you've got me horny I say." Nikki leans in kissing me on the ear and cheek, her hands move around and deftly slip under my shirt to caress my bare stomach and creep upward toward my breasts. I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh, Nikki didn't have to even ask or say anything, I knew she wanted to try something kinky with me, right here and now and I turned my head to whisper, "Yes". Our concentration was broken by the noise of several people down in the lobby, this building has a terrible echo to it. We sat perfectly still, my eyelids flickered and I watched the rotating ceiling fan overhead as I tried to block out the noise which was not an easy thing to do since the commotion was now getting louder. "Shit" I mumbled when I realized this group was now coming up the stairs and our time alone was about to come to an end. "Shitty timing!" Nikki angrily snapped and bolted upright as I adjusted my shirt back down. I knew Nikki was pissed off by the way she sat down on the leg press and shoved the pin in to set the weights. I knew she wasn't mad at me, it's just frustrating to have an intimate moment interrupted. From one of the wall mirrors I watched the toned muscles along her thighs and calves bulge and tighten as she launched into a series of reps. Her forearms gripping the sides of the seat as her face slowly began to glow with effort, 'Damn,' I thought and smiled internally, she has allot of frustration to release, sexual frustration I thought and I was now smiling outward some. Quickly I pulled my gym bag close, fumbling thru the pockets to find my iPod and earphones...WHEW...I clip it onto my waist and press *play* just as the group walks in. I don't look up, not even giving the slightest acknowledgment, so I pull the weights back up and lay down to proceed with my next set. From the farthest scope of my peripheral vision I tried to see who these people were, there seemed to be about four or five of them, no big deal I just narrowed my eyelids and finished the current set of eight. I was back up to a sitting position and even with the earphones in I could tell their loud discussion from earlier in the lobby had changed in tone and probably content. This is of course indicative of the dynamics between men and women when the presence of the opposite sex is around. That observation goes for me as well, evident in the way my thoughts and physical posture changed, after all, even while I am involved with Nikki, I have a strong attraction to men, a very strong attraction. Well I'm lost in thought as I try to ease drop on what the guys are doing. I sense some lingering looks my way, some are now actually exercising while I sit on my bench and pick at the calluses on my palm (attractive huh?). But I need to get back into my workout letting the music try and take me somewhere else as I contemplate the next exercise. A quick glance to my right and I see a couple of them trying to engage Nikki in conversation, not surprise there, but then I think I realize that this is the same group of guys that Sharon and I had waved at from the balcony on the first day here, well at least they looked similar. 'Shit!' I was suddenly startled by a faint tap on my left shoulder and my head jerked to the left and up. His mouth is moving with a faint smile, but I can't hear what he's saying as my left hand fumbles a bit to get the earphones out. "What?" I said in what surely had a tone of impatience. "You're from the balcony on the house across the street, right? You probably don't remember, but we waived to you and your friend a few days ago." I'm partially listening as I try to quickly assess the situation, because I'm analytical like that. Now my mind is drifting because I'm thinking about how any other girl in the house would be eating up this moment, you know, being alone with five good-looking guys all tan and pretty buff would kick in the 'flirting' mode. As for me? Well yeah it's nice getting the attention but I tend to clam up and be reserved, eyeing everyone with a degree of suspicion. A couple of guys are playing it cool, going about their workout routine, trying to remain aloof or maybe they don't care and then there is Nikki, so aren't they lucky, if you like dark hair and skin you hit on her, if you go for blondes you can hit on me. It doesn't hurt my feelings in the slightest if a guy shows no interest in me, I don't have that swelled of a head. There are actually allot of guys that like very petite girls, or girls that are very thin and feminine, hell some guys like their girl's well-rounded. "That's right..." I nod. "We're staying just down the street." Another guy jumps into the conversation. I look over at Nikki and she glances up at the clock on the wall indicating she wants to go, fine by me, they were all nice and invited us down to their house later that night. I said I would mention it because believe it or not I do know how to relax and enjoy myself when on vacation. Besides, giving them the benefit of the doubt it may actually turn out to be a nice time. But enough of that junk, besides, I was now thinking about those images of what happened last night and although she was merely a few feet away I needed to hold her and find out if what happened was real. Every ticking second pushed those memories further away and I got panicked. The sun was way up in the sky, 'Must be noon by now' and I thought thinking about lunch. We dropped our stuff back in our rooms before going up to make lunch, "Hey" I said in a soft tone as if my voice had become suddenly weak, Nikki turned toward me with concern, "What?" She broke out in that smile that always makes me feel better, I pulled her close to me and I wanted to say so many things but just pulled her to me and squeezed Nikki into a tight hug. She hugged me back and I knew it was all real. ********* Later that night we went to one of the local Night Clubs, Nikki and I would periodically hold hands or lock arms for most of that night. From an outside perspective it was no big deal. It most have been much later in the evening, after Tina had knocked back a few that she pulled me aside to say the to best of her recollection, she had always perceived me to be heterosexual, independent and self-reliant. Oh well go figure, I didn't give much of a response, might as well try and explain the meaning of life you know? Who knows why we find certain things comfortable in a relationship or uncomfortable for that matter. I had already put away a couple of mixed drinks and the effect was going right to my head, Nikki and I even got onto the dance floor as the two us uninhibitedly moved our bodies together, which actually involved less dancing and more rubbing and grinding, which to my embarrassment drew a number of stairs from many guys. When we finally left the dance floor I was drenched in sweat quickly making my way to the woman's room where I proceeded to grab several paper towels. I took the waded up towels and leaned over, dabbing my calves, working my way up to my inner and outer thighs. It was upon leaving that bathroom that I was suddenly being tugged on the elbow "Corbin?" It was a familiar voice, one I had not heard in a very long time, I turned to a very surreal sight. Taylor from High School was standing there, a beer in her hand her skin tan from the beach, but her trademark hairstyle, cut short and still very curly and red. I just stood open mouthed, eyes staring hard. "It's ME! Taylor." She leaned in. "I remember, yeah. How have you been? It's been a long time" I crumbled up the now wet paper towels and tossed them aside. I then picked up that 'eyeing' action from Taylor, you know, as if I'm being checked out. Well it wasn't my massive intellect that detected this it was the way her eyes kept roaming up and down my body. "Yeah I know, definitely a long time." Taylor said, she had a somewhat serious expression "I'm down here vacationing with a couple of friends. To tell the truth, I wasn't sure about coming up to you and saying hello." "No its okay, you know, that's ancient history." I smiled with a shrugged. I noticed Taylor giving me this gesture to lean in close and I cautiously did, she moved my right ear to speak, "You are looking better then ever, you really must be kicking ass in the gym." And Taylor quickly pulled away, maybe even some signs of being uncomfortable with giving me that compliment. "Thanks Taylor." I just smiled, trying to show no signs of being offended. "By the way, you're looking pretty good yourself." I decided to return the compliment. "Oh thanks, yeah I've gotten a little more trim and fit. Still play sports and yes I'm still gay." She chuckled a little bit. But I think I might have given a little something away in my reaction as Taylor was now studying me so I tried to cover up with a quick, "Fine by me." and smiled. "I saw Sharon with you earlier." "Yep, she's here." I smiled, "I wouldn't worry about all that stuff in High School, I'm pretty sure it's all forgotten about it." I smiled. "Sharon? We're talking about the same Sharon? You're best friend right? I don't think so." Taylor dismissed my suggestion while taking another swig of her beer. I looked down and smiled to myself, "Yeah I guess your right, and Sharon has been known to hold a grudge or two." "Who were you on the dance floor with earlier, that dark haired girl, she's very sexy. In fact you two were heating things up out there." Taylor was giving me this devilish look and a playful nudge. Ironically, I look to my left and here comes my girl, I raise my left hand a little and Nikki's right reaches out to grip it and stand to my left, "Taylor, this is my girlfriend Nikki." I say. Nikki's left hand stretches out, Taylor seems befuddled for a second and hesitates, then quickly reaches over and shakes Nikki's hand. "Pleasure to met you." Nikki says. "Pleasure is all mine." Taylor replies with this lustful stare. Taylor seemed to be a little slow in the 'get a clue' department, she wasn't putting two and two together with us holding hands or my 'girlfriend' comment. "You might as well know Taylor," I interrupted the vibe she was putting out to Nikki, "Hello, earth to Taylor!" the redhead's smile quickly faded and she refocused on me. "What?" Taylor asked, standing frozen...waiting. "Nikki and I, we are 'girlfriends' in the romantic sense of the word." At first, I thought she didn't hear a word I said as Taylor stood stone faced, unflinching as if still waiting for me to say something, perhaps a punch line or something. "You know, dating! As in we are a couple!" I leaned in a bit as if to punctuate my point. "You're saying YOU..." Her left hand came up, slowly pointing at me, then moving off towards Nikki, "You're pulling my fucking leg." But I stood looking intensely serious and raised an eyebrow, I glanced over at Nikki who had a faint smile curling into the corner of her mouth. "Oh my god!" Taylor leaned back on her heels as her eyebrows raised at the implications, her face now turned totally serious. We made small chit chat as Taylor babbled out some questions but I really did want to get back to my group, "Well it was nice seeing you, maybe I'll see you around the beach sometime?" I smiled, stepping away, a clear sign I was ready to part company. "I don't think so, my beach house isn't in the same zip-code as where you guys are probably staying, if you know what I mean." Taylor smirked. For a second, I felt bad for giving Taylor the brush of, "Hey, why don't you give me your address, you know, and I'll stop by." Which I can't believe I was saying, but I thought it was a nice gesture at the time. To my surprise she stood standing like a statue staring at me, her eyes blinked a couple of times in disbelief I guess at my offer, but then she quickly accepted. I watched her grab a napkin and pen from the bartender as she jotted down the address and handed it to me. "Here you go." Taylor smiled and took another sip of beer and then I watch as Taylor's entire composure changed, and while I was trying to figure it out, I heard the answer come from behind me... "Well, if it isn't the dyke bitch from High School!" Sharon's voice boomed out and she was now standing to my right. "Take it easy Sharon." I interjected raising my hand reaching out to touch her arm soothingly. Nikki had this completely bewildered look on her face in response to Sharon's ugly outburst. "Fuck taking it easy, how in the hell can you tell me to take it easy!" Sharon cast an irritated look at me for a second and then back to Taylor. "Damn Sharon that was way back in High School, you're still upset over that?" Taylor said, staying amazingly calm "Still upset? BINGO! Fuckface!" Sharon stepped in close. Thankfully, one of the bouncers in the club took notice of the raising voices. "You know Sharon, your full of allot of talk when you have your friends watching your back." Taylor sighed. "Just you and me, we can step around back right now, just the two of us." Sharon set her glass down on the nearby bar to show she meant business. I felt my heart start thumping in my chest and I got that nervous tremble going on, I was a little pissed Tina was not offering up any calming words here. "Just you and me huh?" Taylor seemed to think it over, while I was getting this tongue tied anxiety attack, I look over at Tina who seems to be enjoying the whole spectacle and was showing no intentions of interfering, 'This is bullshit!' I thought. "Hey you two..." I started in, because if I didn't it appeared Nikki was getting ready to do the job for me. "Everything okay?" The man's voice came from behind, a rather large fellow wearing a black t-shirt with the clubs name on it stepped into the fray. "Yeah, everything's fine, we're just talking." I said. "Just keep it that way." He continued to eye us suspiciously and slowly turned to walk away. Sharon also watched the bouncer walk away and she turned back towards Taylor, her head coming about in a slow, purposeful manner. "Well bitch?" Her voice low. "You want your payback you snot nose cunt?" Taylor's anger started to boil over. "You bet I do." "Remember, she started it Corbin!" Taylor pointed at Sharon, looking somewhat distraught as if I might interfere. "That's right." Sharon fumed. "Damn Sharon enough!" I was now seething. "Okay STOP! " I stepped in the middle of them facing Sharon, I wasn't going to let her get into a fight. "Dammit, move Corbin!" Sharon growled. "No." I gave a quick glance over my shoulder to Taylor, "Maybe it's best you head on okay?" I tried to bargain with her. "Another time Princess." Taylor smiled as she backed away. "Count on it!" Sharon retaliated with an eat shit look. Quickly she turned, now back in my face, "What the hell do you think you were doing?" Sharon demanded. "Trying to keep you from getting into a fight." I said with a sincere look. "I can take care of myself." Sharon's face red and emotional, "I'm not some little baby that needs protecting." My right hand gripped Sharon's left arm right above her elbow, giving a gentle squeeze. "I know you can take care of yourself Sharon. And I know how it upsets you to see Taylor again, I was there remember." I leaned in a bit. "I just got so angry when I saw her, I just couldn't help it. I guess I should let it go its ancient history, no big deal now. You paid her back for me anyway." Sharon huffed emotionally, her left hand came up and gripped my right elbow in return. So now that little drama was put to rest I had to catch Nik up to speed on what all that fuss was about.