My Story 45
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

***********

"The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality 
in times of moral crisis."
			-Dante Alighieri

**********

During the trip to the beach house, there was not much talk. The windows were 
down, the wind in our hair, the sun was shining and the temperature had risen to 
the upper nineties. I was nodding off in the passenger seat until I felt a faint 
nudge on my firm shoulder, "Where almost there!"  Sharon sat up excited as I 
blinked awake, a few clouds had rolled in but I could tell we were close, 
traffic started to pick up. At every turn, stoplight, street sign I felt the 
anticipation build within me. Why was I getting so excited? I guess everyone 
gets that feeling of anticipation that something great is about to happen, and 
that was the feeling that I had. Combine that with the now thick humidity, 
visions of sand, surf, tan bodies and sweat over the next seven days, you get 
the picture I think. 
 
I perked up even more as the house started to come into view, it was at the end 
of a cul-de-sac, a short boardwalk made it's way up to the dunes, and beyond 
that the Atlantic Ocean. Sharon kept grinning and pointing at the house with 
excitement, as if the first five times she pointed weren't enough. 
 
No unpacking yet, Sharon was so excited that she ran to the door, and then a 
moment of panic set in, "KEYS! KEYS? KEYS! OH MY GOD THE KEYS!" Sharon began to 
freak. I just stood watching unable to fathom that someone so 'always prepared' 
as Sharon would be this forgetful. Yet, it happens you know, what a way to start 
our vacation, but before I could point to the Security Keypad on the side of the 
Garage Door she burst out "OH!" with a giggle and ran back to the car to 
retrieve the momentarily forgotten keys, and then we were in. A bit eerie at 
first, walking into such a big house with three levels to explore. The odd 
layout made sense after awhile, when on the first floor you look for the 
kitchen...but no, now we are on the second floor and still no kitchen. We climb 
the stairs and are greeted by this great room with a magnificent cathedral 
ceiling. To the left was this enormous kitchen with large windows on every wall. 
The view, from anywhere in the room was amazing and although a short dune 
separated the house from the beach, we were high enough up to have an incredible 
ocean view. 
 
I felt her arm rest over my shoulder and then she was standing to my 
left. My left hand came around Sharon's waist and we enjoyed the moment just a 
bit longer. 
 
"Let's go on to the deck." I suggested. 
 
"Let's" Sharon smiled. 
 
And what a deck it was, wrapping around the entire third floor. We stood in the 
glow of the late afternoon sun, leaning against the railing and watched as 
people had their fill of sun and sand, heading home. 

We were interrupted by a sharp, high-pitched whistle, down below a 
group of about five guys were walking past our house leaving the beach. A few 
waved up at us and Sharon waved back quite eagerly. I was a bit more reluctant 
as I raised my right hand to wave.

"Let the games begin." Sharon said with a smile to me.

"You girls just get in?" One guy stopped walking and yelled from the street. I 
really don't recall what he looked like, I had already looked back up and out 
over the ocean.

"Yep." Sharon announced.

"See you around." He waved and continued walking and Sharon waved back.

By late that Saturday afternoon most everyone had arrived: Rachel, Sharon's High 
School cheerleading friend; Kelly a friend from College and Tina who would 
arrive Sunday Evening. Two of my friends, Vera and Jenn also showed up, I mean 
who he hell is going to pass on a week's long vacation, in a luxurious Beach 
House, free room and board, and food. The two fridges and freezers were stocked 
as well as was the large liquor cabinet.

Lord have mercy, so many girls in this house...this is serious trouble.

Tina's arrival was causing quiet a stir amongst Sharon and Rachel, apparently 
everyone worshiped the ground she walked on back in High School. Although I was 
somewhat indifferent to the whole affair, as I only new Tina as the 'Great'  
Cheerleading Team Captain, who had a reputation of walking-on-water.  

I had called Nikki a few times already, but Sharon was not happy about that, she 
was concerned I was not enjoying my time at the beach but that was so not true, 
my brain had switched off and was totally enjoying the leisurely pace I had 
planned out for myself; Walking down to the club house to work out when I 
wanted, walking down the beach when I wanted, and so on. 

After a large spaghetti dinner the first night, we broken out the 'drinks' to 
enjoy the first night in the house. I am not a huge drinker and was sitting back  
watching the spectacle unravel before me as the ample amount of alcohol  
in the house was now starting to flow. Nothing much to report at all, after a 
day of travel and winding down, most of us were pretty tired. I headed off to my 
room, leaving behind the bustle of noise and activity upstairs, why they keep 
pushing themselves to stay up late baffles me, these girls still enjoy sleeping 
in late, but I love getting up early and watching the sun come up.

I changed in the bathroom and passed Vera in the hallway, "Oh, that's sexy!" she 
looked me up and down, making note of my long conservative t-shirt and boxers. 
But I just smiled "You like?" and gave her a wave as I closed the door to my 
room and locked it, I can be paranoid, checking windows and doors. My room faced 
the front of the house and had door that led out to a sweet deck, which also had 
a hammock, hmm very nice, might have to check that out. 

**********

Sunday brought with it a hot and humid morning, with temperatures destined for 
the upper nineties, my biggest concern was burning my feet on the sand. I 
desperately looked for a pair of sandals that would provide adequate protection. 
 
After a quick, LATE breakfast, we all strolled down the walkway looking for the  
right spot on the beach to settle down and enjoy the waves, the sun, and yes all 
of the attention the guys will be paying us. 

I made a quick detour to the clubhouse, I had on my workout clothes over top of 
my bikini, so the gym was my little detour. I wanted to do a little 'lifting' 
first, yeah I know, it's a bit of ego thing to make myself look a little bit 
more defined and ripped by doing some curls and squats before stripping down to 
that stupid, tiny blue bikini. 

Now I'm ready to hit the beach!

I had only been in the gym for about thirty minutes, and because the A/C had 
been blasting away inside I was in for a rude awaking as I left. It was like 
someone dumped a load of hot, wet laundry on top of me. The humidity was 
suffocating, I was amazed that in the short period of time I was indoors, the 
temperature had increased dramatically. 

"Gheesh, it can't be this hot in hell even." I mumbled to myself as I walked 
towards the ramp accessing the beach. So as much as protest and complain about 
attention, I admit could feel the adrenaline race through my body when I 
realized that guys and girls were looking at me, maybe that even sounds 
conceded.

I spotted Sharon in her 'Hey look at me!' pink bikini and the rest of the crew, 
I was a bit miffed to already see some guys edging their way closer as they 
threw a football back and forth trying to strike up some conversations. I shook 
my head as I made my way over, glad that I brought a book or two with me to read 
because sitting on the beach can be BORING! Sometimes. 

"About time!" a few girls chided when I showed up, giving me a little ribbing 
for my tardiness. I proceeded to adjust my umbrella, chair, unpack my little 
bag, get out my suntan sprays and lotions.

"Come on already!" Sharon snapped at my slowness. 

I leaned over, not at all happy, "Don't rush me." I hissed, I scanned around 
again before taking off my shirt and pants and was even more displeased now, 
'Can't I have a moment's peace!' I thought, because now I notice a number of 
guys staring right at me. Hell, I guess with six gorgeous girls on the 
beach we were a honey pot and the men were starting to swarm in closer, 
studying...plotting...planning. 

So there I stood, feet burning in the hot sand, shit it's only around 11:00AM 
and the sand is this hot? Plus I can feel the sun on my skin already, got to get 
the sun block on as the sweat was now trickling down my forehead and the rest  
of my body. I brought my hand to the back of my neck, feeling the dampness and 
lifted my hair and then let it fall, heaving a deep sigh of frustration, "Fuck" 
I cursed and relented to the inevitable by peeling off my shirt and quickly 
unzipped my shorts, pushing them down. 

Sharon had her head tilted to observe, "Put those clothes back on. You're 
going to give me an inferiority complex."

"Silence." I said and pointed my finger at her. I then looked around with some 
degree of paranoia, it was now obvious to me, others as well, that a number of 
guys had shifted their eyes in my direction. I suppose it's not often some tall 
blonde strips down to a small blue bikini, with defined muscles.  
 
"Damn Girl!" Vera walked up, "What the hell? " Like some piece of meat Vera 
began walking around, checking me out. I just quickly sat down in my chair 
fumbling for my lotion. Sharon had perched her chair atop a high point in the 
sand and surveyed the 'scene'. There were allot of family's with kids building 
sandcastles, desperate to finish the walls off before the next wave rolled in. 
Rachel had already headed out for a swim while my gaze shifted over to one of 
the guys from a group of about six, who had 'wondered' over with a volleyball in 
his hand, he was making small talk with Vera, Kelly and Jenn. Vera appeared to 
be flirting somewhat uninhibitedly with him, he stood about 6' 1", had short 
dark hair, clean shaven and nice build, 'not bad' I thought to myself. I caught 
him glancing up at me and just staring, he also kept throwing out an invitation 
to play some volleyball. 'Gee...' I thought, '...nice little icebreaker of a 
subject.'  
 
I get used to the stares and whistles after awhile, but the thing that creeps me 
out are the husbands and fathers with their families openly checking me or my 
friends out. Just a creepy kind of thing, and not cool to do that in front of 
your family and wife.

I heard Sharon laughing as I had just broken the top off the lotion and was 
proceeding to make a mess all over my chair and thighs. "What a piece of crap!" 
I mean who designs some of these flip top lids? Damn thing just cracked in two, 
maybe I was being a little rough with it, but still that's no excuse for sloppy 
engineering. 
 
"You're a mess" Sharon chuckled. 
 
"Shut up." 
 
"Uh-oh." Sharon smiled. 
 
"What?" I looked over at her with concern. 
 
"Here comes trouble." Sharon faintly smiled and I looked over as about four 
guys from the group were making their way over, directly toward us. 
 
"Just great." And I started to spastically clean myself up, rubbing the rest of 
the lotion over my legs and stomach. 

Sharon laughed again, "It's no use, that thing isn't going grow in size 
miraculously." She was commenting on my frustrated attempts at trying to adjust 
my suite, my fingers plucking away at my bikini top, trying to cover as much 
breast flesh as I could, but it was futile. "I hate this thing." I complained. 
It wasn't that small of a bikini, but it would not stay in place for very long, 
much to the delight of my many admirers on the beach.
 
"You girls want to join in on a game were putting together? I'm Chris  
by the way." He introduced his friends but I really wasn't paying attention at 
this point. 
 
"I'm Sharon, and this is my friend Corbin." Sharon's hand performed an 
exaggerated wave in my direction. I simply smiled and nodded as my arms came 
up and rested on the arms of the lounge chair, my fingers were developing a 
tense grip as the question was posed. 'No way in hell.' I thought to myself, any 
jumping around and this full back bikini bottom would instantly turn into a 
thong. 
 
Todd stepped right in front of me and smiled, "Well, no matter what, I want 
you on my team. Your in one of the best shapes I've ever seen a girl in." 

"I second that." Steven piped up.
 
"Thanks." I feebly replied and looked down at my feet, awkwardly digging them 
into the sand. I watched Sharon smile and dust off some sand from her legs 
before standing. She daintily took the time to pull the pink bottoms from the 
crevice of her fine ass. Just great! Now three more guys have encircled 
us, what the hell, can't I have a moments peace.

"Let's go!" Sharon barked in delight and the entire group turned to walk towards 
the net, except for one, me, I didn't move, I was rooted to that chair for fear 
of my ass hanging out of the back of the suite if I started to jump around for 
the ball. It wasn't Sharon that noticed, but several guys looking back and then 
the whole group abruptly stopped. 'Here we go.' I thought, the barrage of 
pressure to getup and join in. "Come on!" She beckoned as did all of the guys, 
quite eagerly at that. But I just sat shaking my in a slow purposeful manner, 
'No'. 
 
"What's wrong?" Chris stopped, flipping the volleyball in the air a few times, 
several other guys started walking back towards me.

"Hold on." I heard Sharon huff and instructed that they all wait while she come 
and talk to me.

"What now?!" Sharon put her hands on her hips, her head cocked off to the right, 
her tone one of impatience. 
 
"Go on without me, I'm fine." I sighed and stared out to the ocean, my body  
tensed as I hunched down into the chair. A couple of guys came walking up from 
where everyone was gathering and chimed in with Sharon, but I wouldn't budge. 
 
"Fine be that way." Sharon spat in an irritated manner and spun around,  
"Forget it! No come on." Sharon grabbed two of the guys by the arm, silencing 
there efforts as they tried to convince me to join in. 
 
'Fine be that way?' Is that what she just told me in front of everyone? The shit 
is going to hit the fan now as my blood pressure started to rise.

**********

I saw Sharon glance back a few times and some of the guys did an about face to 
make small talk with me. I pulled a book out of my bag as if to drop a hint, but 
the guys kept trying to engage me in conversation. I mean, I know it was nice of 
them to stay behind and keep me company at least I was trying to give them the 
benefit of the doubt here. And they were trying to score points with me too, but 
that kind of goes without saying.
 
Periodically I watched the guys make impressive dives onto the sand and Sharon 
did a fair job, she was athletic and enjoyed the attention while flirting back 
with the guys as they would teasingly touch her on the shoulder. I saw Sharon 
wipe the sweat from her brow as I watched her competitive spirit come out and 
kick into overdrive, I admit she looked hot...hot as in sexy hot, her body 
shined with sweat from head to toe as she would bend forward and lunge, 
her muscles contracting and relaxing during play, her long brown hair 
flying in every direction as she would attempt to restrain it. 

But I started to feel an odd pain inside, an awkward misfit sensation that I 
hadn't dealt with in a very long time. The way Sharon had so abruptly treated 
me had plucked away at the more immature of my emotions, stupid tit-for-tat 
things Sharon and I sometimes get into. I tried to relax and enjoy myself but I 
was getting more irritated by the minute, I know that sounds irrational, but I 
could feel things boiling over, now I was feeling angry and some resentment. I 
kept telling myself that I was being silly but that didn't help. Every droplet 
of sweat was an irritant, the sand, those kids yelling and splashing in the 
ocean, the guys sitting around me talking, my broken bottle of sun block. 

I'M LOOSING MY MIND!

With a sudden jerk I leaned over and grabbed my shorts, awkwardly I tried to 
slip them up my legs while remaining in a sitting position, which I finally 
managed. Why? Because I was tired of being gawked at and I was being emotional. 
I didn't feel like sitting around in that bikini anymore, their eyes never 
leaving me for one second, I wasn't in the mood anymore to bask in their 
appreciation. I wasn't getting ready to have my period so that ruled out that 
excuse, no I was mad, but it just wasn't Sharon's behavior that had pushed me 
over the edge.

"Something wrong?"

"You leaving?"

They started asking and I just paused, so as not to appear rude I wanted to make 
up an excuse. Strange huh? I was actually trying not to be rude, maybe because 
I wasn't mad at them.

"I'll be right back, sorry I forgot something up at the house, just right over 
there." I pointed to the tall building just over the dune.

"I'll come along." One guy spoke up and went to stand, but I just touched him on 
the shoulder. Hmm, nice strong shoulders, sweaty, very nice.

"No it's okay," My mind spun for a quick excuse so as not to hurt his feelings, 
"It's a girl thing." I just smiled.

"Oh..." He kind of smiled as if he got my drift and sat back down.

"I still don't mind." He replied.

"I'll be right back." I reassured him. Amazingly I was up and over the dune and 
no one was the wiser, at the moment. It wasn't just Sharon's attitude, it was a 
combination of things that set me off, but primarily it was inability to truly 
let go of my stress and anxiety the weeks prior to this vacation. Yeah I know, 
compared to some I have no real problems in life, but be that as it may, I only 
react to what I know and feel that is going on around me.  

Even with my shades on during the walk back, once I got into the house my 
eyes had to blink several times to adjust to the indoors. By now I was pissed, 
and stormed up the stairs, I literally took my beach bag and slammed it down on 
the ground hard. If there was anything fragile in there, it was broken now, and 
all my big talk about just kicking back and enjoying the vacation was really 
bull crap. My anal-retentive Actuarial job, dating and breaking up with Robert, 
sorting things out with Nikki and Sharon's odd behavior all had me ready to 
explode. "Fucking bullshit!" I bitched aloud and stormed towards the Kitchen.

I suddenly dropped to the ground and started doing pushups, isn't that odd? Okay 
maybe not, but I had all this pent up stress and energy that was raging to get 
out, so I started firing off pushups, one after the other, I lost count after 
fifty. 99.99% of all the women I know will throw things, slam stuff, pout and 
cry when very, very upset, I tend to do pushups. So I stood back up dripping 
with sweat and tried to collect my thoughts and breathing, 'There, I feel a bit 
better and I need a drink' was the first thoughts so I yanked open the fridge 
door to pull out a lime, then grabbed a knife off the counter to slice 
it up.

"CORBIN!" I heard Sharon's voice from downstairs, but I didn't answer, I hadn't 
expected Sharon to realize I had left the beach so soon, I needed some time to 
unwind and calm down. Also, I didn't expect her to come after me like this. But 
the footsteps got closer, hearing Sharon's flip-flops in action coming up the 
stairs.

"There you are! What the hell are you doing?!" Sharon threw her own bag down on 
the sofa, she watched me shove the sliced lime into a bottle of Corona. By now I 
was slamming everything in the kitchen loudly as I closed and opened drawers, 
also I was still breathing pretty hard from my pushup marathon.

"What does it look like?" I spat and wiped my hands clean with a towel and 
picked the bottle up while running my forearm over my face to catch some of the 
beads of sweat. Oh god, I looked down and saw how badly I was upset, I 
couldn't even hold the bottle of beer in my hands without it trembling or was 
that my muscles trembling from the exercise?

I saw Sharon shake her head in disbelief at me, her hands coming to rest on her 
hips, "What the fuck is wrong? Why do you do this? What's wrong with you?" She 
snapped at me. 

Wrong thing to do Sharon.

I stopped walking towards the sliding glass doors that lead out onto the deck 
and spun around to face her. Although we stood about ten feet apart I think it 
was clear that my face was flushed into a well worked up rage. By Sharon's 
reaction, the way her body tensed it told me she was suddenly picking up on just 
how mad I was.

My right hand reached over and set the Corona down on the nearby kitchen 
counter and returned to grab the blue string of my bikini top that wrapped 
around the back of my neck.

"This..." I went to say.

But as fate would have it the damn string got hung up under the collar of my 
white tee shirt, believe it or not, that small inconvenience was the last straw 
and I blew like a raging volcano.

"THIS IS MY FUCKING PROBLEM!" My right hand curled into a fist around the neck 
line of my shirt. My forearms and biceps bulged and flexed as I pulled down, the 
fabric ripped with such ease it was as if I was tearing a paper towel in half. I 
mean holy shit! It was amazing! I just tore open my shirt with one single pull, 
right down the middle until my right breast, that hung barely in the confines of 
it's bikini top spilled out, shortly followed by my left. 'Great, your psycho 
side is coming out.' My subconscious sighed.
 
Sharon's whole body seemed to flinch in reaction to the violent way I tore the 
shirt off. 

"Right here!!" My fingers finally gripped that blue strap around my neck, 
"YOU wanted me to buy this and wear it, fine! I did! But you knew I was 
uncomfortable with it!" 
 
"Then why did you buy it?" Sharon quickly countered with a new quiver in her 
voice.

"To fucking please you Sharon!" I snapped angrily, "But no more! This fucking 
thing is coming off today and never going back on! And I grabbed my tattered tee 
shirt at the shoulders and ripped the rest of it from my body in one strong 
jerk, flinging the shredded material at Sharon. She took a step back and held it 
for a few seconds before letting it fall to the floor, Sharon looked truly 
stunned, I guess never seeing me this angry and literally had leaned the entire 
frame of her body back slightly, totally dazed. I was so mad I even had spit 
flying off my lips my voice was like a roar as I jabbed my fingers in Sharon's 
direction, almost in synch with every word that flew out of my mouth.

"Maybe you and the rest of those girls enjoy jumping around and having your 
suits barely hang onto your body for all the world to see and enjoy but not me!" 

"Corbin!...I just don't?"

"You just don't get it do you Sharon! I beginning to think you really don't 
know me after all!" My face felt flushed, more so then the sun had already made 
it, and I turned around before I said something I regretted. Grabbing my beer I 
jerked open the sliding glass door with a good heave, but not before I gave a 
another quick angry response, "And take those fucking sunglasses off if you want 
to have a serious conversation with me!" 

I slid the door shut with such force that I anticipated the glass might shatter 
or the door would be ripped from its rails. I pulled up a chair on the deck and 
looked out over the dunes, kicking my feet up on the railing I began to sip on 
my Corona. My left hand came up to my sweat and lotion covered stomach as if to 
try and help calm myself. About a minute went by as I closed my eyes taking a 
deep breath before I dug into my right pocket to withdrew my shades and put them 
on. A zillion thoughts went thru my mind, but in the end I felt better, it felt 
good to vent like that, I rarely did that type of thing. My body tensed as I 
heard the door slide open slowly, then slide shut. From the corner of my left 
eye I saw a flash of a pink bathing suite and then Sharon was pulling a chair up 
next to mine. My feet began to nervously rock with that anticipation of a heavy 
conversation coming up. Sharon sat down on the edge of the seat and studied me 
for a few seconds and then she cleared her throat, the next thing I felt was her 
hand gently touching my left forearm but I just jerked it away defensively, I 
think that shocked Sharon even more then my yelling. 

"I'm sorry." She said. I caught sight of her elbows resting on her knees now, 
her fingers clasping together, nervously twitching. "I just get carried away, 
and I, I shouldn't try and make you do things you don't want to do. I just wish 
you would tell me if your not comfortable doing stuff."

Maybe Sharon thought I didn't hear her, because I just remained staring out over 
the blue ocean water. "I did try and what did I get in response? Oh yes, I 
remember now, something to the effect of 'Fine be that way' and 'Forget it', 
yeah, that's what you said down on the beach." Before I could finish, I felt 
Sharon's hand reach out and suddenly latch onto my forearm, but I didn't pull 
away this time.

"I'm sorry baby. Please..." Sharon's voice cracked with emotion as I got a quick 
glance of the tears streaking out of her eyes. I breathed out a deep sigh and 
just tapped my fingers on the glass bottle.

"I don't know Sharon." I said in a quiet voice and lowered my head, my mind 
was swirling with so many conflicting thoughts, doubting if I really could be in 
a relationship with any girl. Sharon had brought her other hand up and now 
gripped my forearm with both hands as if trying to pull me back to her, to bring 
me in and focus on her.
 
"What?" Sharon's voice was shaking now, and part of me was reassured that she 
was so upset, the most upset I've seen her in a long time.

"I won't be treated like that Sharon, you call me your best friend and diss me 
like that in front of other people, very disrespectful, you might pull that crap 
with your other friends but don't call me a friend and then treat me like that, 
not even once." Damn, I was really laying the law down on Sharon now, I had 
never even insinuated I would severe our friendship before, but I was in no mood 
to have my buttons pushed right now and Sharon was getting a little big headed 
around me lately, and mouthy. 

"Don't you even go there! I can't believe you would even think it!" 
Sharon could barely get the words out in between gasping sobs, and now I must 
say that I don't think I have ever seen her this upset. As for me, I brought the 
bottle up to my lips, lips that quivered as I tried to gulp down a couple of 
swallows of beer, trying to drown the rising emotions inside of me, but it was 
hard. As I pulled the bottle from my mouth I noted the trembling of my right 
hand had returned and was forced to set the bottle down on the ground before it 
fell out of my hand.

"You can't believe it?" I asked in a low whisper as I fought to keep my own 
emotions in check. I rotated my shoulders to turn and fully look at Sharon who 
was silently weeping, her eyes bloodshot as tears streamed down her cheeks, her 
full beautiful breasts stained with streaks of tears and sweat. "We'll, you 
better believe, don't ever do it again." And I turned to look back out over the 
ocean, my right hand came up as my fingertips touched my cheeks and lips as if I 
was performing some self-examination. I sat watching the waves roll in and then 
felt those soft, moist lips on my neck, hot breathe on my skin and the wetness 
of her cheek, surely from salty tears. I started to actually feel bad, maybe I 
had brow-beat Sharon too hard, after all, allot of my stress was attributed to 
other things as well, but from the ass chewing I just gave Sharon, I sure as 
hell made it look like it was all her fault. 

I could feel my heart beating in slow hard thumps, driving the blood up into my 
now flushing cheeks as I clenched my jaw. 

"I'll never do that again, I didn't mean to hurt you. I could never hurt you. 
I'm so sorry please forgive me." Sharon whispered and wept her apologies 
covering my neck and left cheek with more warm, soft kisses.

"They're coming back." I cleared my throat suddenly and watched the girls make 
they're way up the boardwalk to the house. They were saying lingering goodbyes 
to large group of guys.

Sharon remained holding me from the side and I took a deep breath, "Look, I'm 
Sorry too okay..."

"No, you have every right to be pissed at me." Sharon said and rubbed my forearm 
with her hands.

"Well, I just am having a hard time winding down." I sighed and took another sip 
of beer, which wasn't bad by the way, maybe it's the lime? Or sitting outside 
with a nice breeze blowing in from the ocean?

"I'll be glad when Nikki gets here." Sharon said and I did a quick glance over 
at her, she had this smirk on her face, all I could do is smile and look down at 
my lap.

"You know me so well." I shook my head.

"That I do." Sharon sighed and stood up, patting and stroking the top of my 
head.

"So!" I heard Vera's voice as she stood poised in the doorway, her hands 
gripping the frame of the door, "What's happing now? What's the big drama?" A 
big smile crossed her face.

"I was just having a childish temper tantrum." I groaned as I stood up and 
leaned against the railing.

We watched Vera walk around and lean against the railing next to me, "About?" 
little bitch wasn't going to let it go, might as well prep everyone for the big 
coming out party that was going to happen when Nik got here on Wednesday.

"You know Nik is coming on Wednesday, right?" I said 'matter of fact' like.

"Yeah." Vera said with even a bigger smile.

"Well put two and two together." Sharon shrugged with impatience.

Vera just stood their, her arms folded with some degree of satisfaction, "So, 
are you two finally going to get together, as an official couple?" but we never 
got to finish as the rest of the girls came noisily up the stairs, and one by 
one, Kelly, Rachel and Jenn came out on the deck.

"Where did you guys go?" Rachel piped up, "Yeah." Jenn added as they all 
pulled up chairs around us. 

I was feeling VERY uncomfortable right now, I hate being the center of 
attention, but I was getting this very supportive smile from Sharon, she would 
blast anyone that spoke out of line, and then I would pound on them with my 
fists. But seriously, I wanted to get this in the open, and a part of me felt 
some relief with what I was about to admit to.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked as Kelly and Jenn stared at me intently, mainly 
because Vera and Sharon were staring at me. 

"Okay, look," I started and took a calming deep breath of air, "Nikki is coming 
on Wednesday and it's also known that Nikki and I have dated in the past."

"I thought that was just a rumor." Kelly said, crossing her legs as she studied 
me carefully. "And what about Dale, you dated him back in College!"

"Dale and I were serious, but so were Nikki and I, we just tried to be careful 
and as secretive as possible." I reached up and took off my sunglasses, I don't 
know why I just wanted to and hooked them onto thin string that connected my 
bikini top, it was already stretched tight due to my well endowed chest. "But 
it's more then that now, we really are going to make a serious commitment to one 
another and I might as well get this out into the open. That way no more rumors 
or anything, you can just come right out and ask."
 
"Wow" Kelly sighed, my face blushed some more, "Have you always been attracted 
to girls?"

"No, just Nikki, odd huh." I shrugged but started to feel my emotions rising 
some, not sure why, uh oh, must try and remain calm, I don't like showing my 
emotions in front of people, it makes one look weak I have always thought.

Rachel sat up in her chair a little bit, "So you two really love each other 
then? Like are really in love?" 

"Yes, I really do love her." I said, and whoops! The tears started coming, damn, 
can't stop them either as my left hand shoots up to brush them off my cheeks. 
"Shit, sorry." I said and looked away toward the street below.

"It's okay." Sharon stood up quickly and hugged me, but it wasn't until Vera and 
Jenn came over and hugged me as well that I started to ball. Oh my god what is 
wrong with me, this is pathetic, the more they hugged me the more I cried.

My initial instinct was to 'Get the hell off me!!' But a tender, feminine side 
wanted this, needed this and I hugged them back, thanking each and every one of 
them for their kindness and support. I don't think I had everyone's full support 
but it was still nice of them.