Joseph and Mary, But This Ain’t a Biblical Story, Part 1
By Elliebi@aol.com
Ellie fights Joe and Mary issues a birthday challenge to Lee.


These matches took place in North Hollywood during the winter of 1982. We
still used the same adult night club on Lankershim Blvd. for our matches when
we weren't wrestling at home. We had been members of this club for about
almost two years and had done quite well for ourselves. We had taken some
devastating beatings, but also some very exciting victories. These two were
both devastating and exciting. Joe and Mary challenged us and we had to
accept. Joe wanted a piece of me for a previous match when we beat them. I
interfered when he had Lee down. From that point we rallied and beat them. The
win was very decisive and there were hard feelings. Mary invoked a clause in
the club's rules whereby a member could issue a birthday challenge and the
opponent was obliged to accept or possibly forfeit membership. She challenged
Lee to a three fall match with each fall 15 minutes in length. But he had to
fight three women, Mary, then Jill and finally Donna. They were Joe and Mary's
two girls, 16 and 15 respectively. As soon as a fall would end the next
opponent would enter the room, beginning the next fall. She called it her
Birthday Bash, because that's what she and the girls planned on doing with
Lee.

The night of the matches arrived and we were very excited to start. But Lee
had stepped on loose pavement during a long run the previous week and really
twisted his knee and ankle. He was asked if he wanted to postpone the match,
but he went along with the original schedule. His knee and ankle were very
tightly wrapped and still caused some pain. I was to start against Joe. Joan
was the referee and announced the first contest. "Ladies and gentlemen, the
fist match is one fall with a 30 minute time limit. In the red corner, at 179
lbs. here's the scourge of the Hollywood Hills, here's the great Joe Mulhare."
The crowd cheered for him as he waved and smiled at Mary and the girls. He was
really liked by the other members which couldn't always be said about Mary or
the girls. He wore dark blue Speedos and red and white wrestling boots. "In
the blue corner, at 137 lbs. here's the rattler from the desert, the princess
of mean, here's the always-tough Ellie Smythe." The crowd also cheered for me
with a few catcalls and boos. I wore a see-through black net bodysuit and
matching tights and black Asics short wrestling boots.

I was ready for this match. Joe was Lee's size and weight. He was slower than
Lee so I knew I could out maneuver him and maybe get a good jump on him. So
with all the practice we had at home, I was sure I could at least give him a
good match, with a good possibility of winning. He was 5 inches taller and
almost 50 lbs heavier, but I was ready.

Joan called us out and explained the rules. There would be no kicks to the
crotch area or face, and no gouging the eyes. At a wall, you could get in a
few shots, but then she would move in to break it up. Everything else was
okay.

At the bell, we both came out and quickly locked up. He pushed me against a
wall and held me for a few seconds before driving a knee into my belly. I
winced and held my gut as Joan pushed Joe away. He came back at me and as he
grabbed my hair, I drove a shoulder into his belly. I caught him by surprise
and he backed off. But I came after him and kicked his chest, sending him to
the mat. I grabbed a leg and quickly stepped into a toehold. I bent the leg
outward, twisting as hard as I could, then would jerk it the other way. Joe
slapped the mat trying to do something about the pain. He tried kicking my
chest to get free, but I managed to shove his leg aside. With more pressure he
forgot the kicks and just cried out in pain. His girls were yelling to him to
kick free and he finally tried again and this time planted a foot on my left
breast, kicking hard. I fell back, releasing the hold. I rolled over and got
up while Joe rolled to a wall and used it to help him up.

I quickly charged and rammed a shoulder into his lower back, pinning him
against the wall. I could feel him weaken a bit as he slammed into the wall. I
grabbed an arm and twisted it behind him in a hammerlock. I pushed up hard on
the arm, making him cry out and get on his toes to ease the pain. I grabbed
his hair and slammed his face in to the wall a few times to remind him that I
was still there. Then I threw him around and down to the mat by his hair,
hanging onto the arm the whole time. The pressure was starting to get to him
and for a second I thought I might get a submission from this hold. His
breathing was hard, like he'd been running so I kept more pressure on the arm.

One thing I underestimated was his strength. He slowly crawled toward a wall
and when he got there managed to roll into a position against it that made it
hard for me to hang on. With all the sweat pouring over our bodies his arm
became a bit slippery and he managed to twist free. As he did that, he also
kicked my chest and got away. I was stunned for a second, but it was a bad
second. As he got up, Joe kicked my back which stopped me and gave him more
time to rest. He then pulled my hair and got me into a kneeling position.
Standing behind me he twisted my head left and right, holding my chin and
hair. The twisting back and forth really hurt my neck. I tried to claw his
hands and arms, but he held on tight. He stopped for a second, drove a knee
into my head and pulled my hair back. Looking into my eyes, he smiled and
chopped my throat. I clutched my throat, gagging and trying to get air. He
yanked back again and chopped me once more. He then pulled me down and dropped
a knee across my throat. I clawed desperately trying to get him off, my legs
kicking while I clawed his arms. I managed to move a bit to get more air, but
he responded with a fist to my belly. I doubled over still gasping for air.
Finally he got up and pulled me up by an arm, then with an Irish whip, threw
me against the opposite wall. I slammed into it hard and stayed there for a
second. Then I slowly slid part way down, until he caught me. He turned me
around and again whipped me across the room. I slammed hard into the wall, the
back of my head hitting hard. I stood stunned for a second, and then stumbled
a few steps. He caught me again and flipped me with a hip toss. I landed hard
on my lower back. I cried out and rolled over trying to ease the pain in my
back.

He walked over to me and grabbed my hair, pulling me up. He swung a wild
roundhouse at my head, but I ducked and drove a fist into his belly. He
stopped in his tracks. I threw another punch into his belly. This time he
backed up. I lunged at him, throwing a forearm into his head. He backed into a
wall and I had him. I threw another forearm into his head, a third and then
fourth. He was dazed and looked a tired. His breathing was hard again and each
blow smashed his head into the wall. Joan finally pushed me away and Joe
stumbled out. I watched him and as he came out, I drove both feet into his
face with a perfect flying dropkick. The blow sent him against the wall and
down. His head smashed into the wall and when he went down, he was dazed and
groaning. Mary and the girls were screaming and nearly ran in to help. Others
stopped them and forced them back to their seats. I walked to Joe, dropped a
knee across his chest and fell on him for the pin. Joan got to 2 before he
kicked out. I gave her a dirty look for what I thought was slow count. I
turned to Joe who was barely moving around. I clubbed him with a few forearms
to the head and fell on him again. This time I hooked a leg and he still
kicked out at 2. Damn!

I pulled him out to the center by the legs and rolled him over onto his belly.
Then I place his left leg inside the right one, the foot behind the knee. Then
I bent the right leg back stepping behind it. The reverse deathlock had Joe
screaming and slapping the mat. "Give up you shit or I'll bust your fucking
knee." He just whispered, "Fuck you." So I leaned back some more and listened
to him cry even more. I kept the hold while Joan asked if he quit. Each time
he said no and kept suffering. I kept the pressure on and watched him weaken.
He was to the point of submission when Jill, their older girl jumped out and
nailed me with a flying tackle, knocking me off her father and getting him
free. Joan pulled her off the mat and yelled at Mary to control the girls or
she'd disqualify Joe.

Joe was rolling around trying to get feeling and some use out of his right
leg. The knee had been extended and was very painful. I was sprawled out from
the tackle and needed a minute to collect my thoughts. We got up around the
same time and wearily circled each other. Joe was still hobbling and I wanted
to get that knee again. I moved in close and faked a lock up and then went for
the right leg. Joe stepped back and I missed. He kicked my head as I landed on
the mat, the foot hitting my temple. I grabbed my head and rolled to my left
side. I saw stars and couldn't focus on anything for a few seconds. That's all
Joe needed to garb my hair and pull me up. He held my chin with his left hand
and chopped my throat. My body jerked from the chop and I went limp for a few
seconds. He chopped me again and this time I gagged and nearly fell. He
released my chin and I reached for a wall for support. Joe kicked out my legs
and I fell.

He grabbed both legs, rolled me over and pulled back with a horrible Boston
crab. He bent my back and nearly sat on it as he poured on the pressure. Now
it was my turn to feel the pain as he sat back and heard me whimper from the
pain shooting through my back. Joe was leaning way back and when I looked at
Lee, he told me to try to move forward and get him off balance. I managed to
rise into a half-pushup position and suddenly moved forward. This made Joe
lose his balance and he fell backward, landing partly on me. I quickly pulled
away and got up as using the wall for support. Joe got up and looked around to
see me coming at him. He got ready to lockup, but instead I hit him with
another flying dropkick. This one caught him in the chest, sending him against
a wall and down. He wasn't hurt, but he did lose sight of me and I used that
to grab his head in a side headlock and keep him down.

I covered his mouth as much as possible with me body to take the air away. He
managed to twist his head around to breathe a bit, and then ever so slowly, he
started to get up. I had the headlock, but he seemed to moving into a standing
position. He moved me into a wall after standing and slammed a forearm into my
kidneys. Joan made us break and we separated. Joe and I came together and
locked up, then started a big pushing contest to gain superiority. He had me
backing up and I went with it. Suddenly I slid from the hold and took him down
with an arm drag. He landed and rolled across the room and got up. He charged
me, trying to take me down with a tackle. I moved and he ran into a wall, his
head slamming into it hard. He fell in a heap and I took advantage. Pulling
him up by the hair, I draped an arm over my left shoulder and grabbing his
Speedos, I flipped him over with suplex. He landed hard on his lower back. Joe
lay still trying to recover from the pain, but I dropped a leg bomb across his
chest. He grunted from the heavy leg dropping across his chest and laid still.
I stood over him for a second, then jumped high and dropped a knee across his
forehead. His legs shot out, then flopped to the mat. I dove on him and hooked
a leg. At two, Joe barely got a shoulder up. I was pissed and sat on his
chest, raining forearms down on his head. He tried to cover up, but my arms
were faster and kept coming at him.

He stopped fighting the blows and I knew I had him. I stood and landed with an
elbow into his belly, rolled onto his chest, hooked a leg and Joan counted him
out. I had beaten Joe Mulhare, who with Mary had given us a bad beating a few
months earlier. When I stood up, I pushed down on his forehead to help me get
up. I really liked the applause and hugged Lee. Several people came up and
congratulated me on a good fight and thought I was definitely the better
fighter this night.

"The winner, at 24 minutes and 16 seconds, the Great Ellie, Princess of the
Hollywood Hills." Joan made it sound so good. I was literally dead on my feet.
I hadn't had such a demanding match in a while and I needed to get in better
shape if I were to keep going for over 20 minutes of near-nonstop action.

We went back to change clothes and watch the others and get Lee ready for the
Birthday Bash. That's in part 2.

Notes: This match was one of the best I ever fought. The win was so gratifying
because I had never beaten a man, one-on-one, that much bigger than me. I
would only do it again one other time. But because it was Joe, it was doubly
satisfying. The team of Mary and Joe were tough and never gave up and they had
given us a bad beating earlier, in the spring of 1981. This partly made up for
it. We would get them later in a tag-team match (summer of 1982).