Besides being beloved, larger than life, mythical creatures, what do these three have in common? We’ve all gotten our butts kicked by Karla Nelsen. Kong submitted to a head scissors (A little too late, his cranium didn’t always have that point on top.). My cousin G’s fiery breath couldn’t save him from a breast smother (Though to be fair, I’m not sure he was struggling all that hard.). And myself, I had to beg for release from an inescapable full nelson/body scissors before I blacked out.



But we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves. I met Karla in Tom Nine territory, specifically Baltimore. Being located in the Philadelphia region, that’s a bit of a hike for me, but I really didn’t want to miss an opportunity to meet a legend like her. After a two hour plus drive, I finally arrived at Karla’s hotel, and was met at the door by the busty, blonde, wrestlerette.



After chatting a bit, I changed and prepared for the start of our session. Stripping to a brief, black bikini, Karla invited me to join her on the queen sized bed for a little semi-competitive wrestling. Basically, she would try to catch me with various submission style holds while I would attempt to escape. I was a little skeptical about wrestling on a bed, but it turned out to be a lot of fun. Besides being a lot more comfortable than a hotel rug, the soft mattress tends to restrict movement, promoting a rolling around, tumbling kind of match which is more upper body oriented. And without a solid surface to pin me to, I was able to make more escapes that Houdini.



But prior to escaping, I found that while lying on a comfortable mattress with Karla sitting on my stomach was the perfect time to take a break and worship those muscles. Karla’s physique is rock hard, and she enjoys showing off the fruits of her labors. Fruits like those cantaloupe sized delts, mackintosh  biceps, and watermelon quads. Karla’s got more curves than a roller coaster, and she can send you on a more thrilling ride. For somebody who appreciates female muscle the way I do, you risk sensory overload. Karla can’t blink without something bulging, popping, or twitching. There’s just a lot to see there.



Call it a personal problem, but I did have fun in my last session when Kasie Cavanaugh engaged me in a little belly punching (Which was sort of her idea.). It’s no secret that I’m a fan of female boxers, so I decided to combine a few of my interests, and bring a pair of boxing gloves with me. I asked Karla about it, and she was game to try. Donning the gloves, I let her warm up a bit by hitting my hands. Karla has previously taken a kick boxing class, and she knows how to throw a good punch. Unlike static posing, this motion allows you to see all of the muscles in the upper body working at once. Even if you wouldn’t consider actual belly punching, some of you might want to try this. On somebody like Karla, it’s an impressive site. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some second thoughts about actually letting her hit me, but after having come this far, I had to find out. So how hard can Karla hit? Extremely hard. Kasie hits hard and has better stamina, but Karla can use those extra thirty pounds to really sock you. For those of you who are wondering, this really isn’t that bad. After all, didn’t we all do this in High School? OK, maybe not, but I’m from New Jersey. As long as you’ve got your abs tensed, and you know when to quit, it really doesn’t hurt that much. In fact, I consider the head and body scissors to be a lot worse. Right now as I’m writing this, I can feel a little soreness if I poke around my stomach, but my neck, shoulders, and back ache a lot more from the wrestling. Everybody’s different of course, so don’t come complaining to me if you try it and she folds you like a limp noodle.



So was it worth the long drive and the session fee? Absolutely. Not having seen her on the bodybuilding scene for awhile, I was a bit concerned about what condition she’d be in, but she’s still every bit as large and hard as her pictures indicate. But even more importantly, she’s a very sweet person with a positive attitude who tries to make the session fun for you, and she succeeds.



Maybe this isn’t such a bright idea.



This definitely isn’t a bright idea!



Forget Mamma said knock you out, Mamma’s GONNA knock you out!



I didn’t feel a thing.



The winner and still heavyweight champion, Karla Nelsen!!!



I asked Karla about her trademark watch. I’ve been seeing it showing up on pictures and videos for years and I was curious if there was a story behind it. As it turns out, Karla hadn’t even realized how visible it’s been. In fact, there have been a few watches over the years, but they’ve all been the same style. Her current watch is a Timex, and she’s got a new one waiting for when that breaks. It’s a rugged watch, but every once in a while, a flex of those massive forearms snaps the leather band and sends it flying across the room. The difference between her watch and yours? Hers GIVES a licking and keeps on ticking.

Thanks Karla! I had a great time! - Dragon
 

Well, it seems that this time I’ve got more pictures than witty comments. I know you’re all disappointed, but you’ll live. Enjoy!!!