"What, are you nuts?" - Sigmund Freud

"Son, I wouldn’t mess with her if I were you." - Teddy Roosevelt

Well, I finally tried it. One of the women on my short list for a boxing session finally came to Philly, and I jumped at the opportunity to meet her. After making my way to a center city hotel and finding the right room, I knocked on the door and Joanna Needham opened it. I introduced myself and started to shake her hand, but she greeted me with a hug instead. Joanna was dressed in a one-piece, flower print swimsuit with a wraparound skirt which she would shortly remove. While not a bodybuilder, Joanna impressed me as a large, solid woman. She’s 5’8", 165lbs with brown hair and green eyes and came sporting a California tan. After a minute or two of chitchat where Joanna struck me as a really nice person with a great attitude, she directed me to the bedroom where I changed. Returning wearing a pair of shorts, we talked a little more about what I was looking for, and we agreed to warm up with a little wrestling. After a few minutes of spirited struggling, I suggested that we call it a draw and get to the main event: Boxing.

I’ve never boxed before in my life, but the same can’t be said of Joanna. She won the first Tough Woman contest in 1979, TKO’ing her first two opponents, one of which was well over two hundred pounds, and being awarded the title when contest officials decided to call off the final bought due to concern for her smaller opponent. Well, she wouldn’t have that problem with me.

Not wanting to hurt anybody, I had asked for a semi-competitive match, where I wouldn’t put anything behind my punches while I told Joanna to use her discretion. Fortunately for me, she decided to take it easy, and she set ground rules of no uppercuts and no punches to the nose which negated the need for a mouthpiece.

Donning sixteen ounce gloves and headgear which she provided, we squared off in the center of the room. Not wanting to just stand there like a heavy bag, I decided to throw the first punch, a light jab. Joanna leaned back and it fell well short of the mark. I started to throw another, when her glove shot over mine and hit me in the forehead. "Whap!," my head flew back and as it came back down she smacked it again like a paddleball on a string. I had only a split second to gaze into her green eyes before her hook connected with the side of my head, "Whap!" "Thud!," she caught me in the stomach, and then backed off dancing on the balls of her feet. Well, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. Did she just get lucky? "Whap!" I guess that answers that question. And that’s pretty much how it went for the next forty minutes as Joanna hit me nearly at will, and not because I was letting her.

While I am a martial artist, I don’t come from a striking art, and the gloves themselves were new to me. If you’ve never had boxing gloves on before, they’re big and if you don’t know what you’re doing, they can be a major hindrance. Protect your face, and you can’t see. "Whump!," she lands another body shot, or comes right around with a hook to the side of the head, "Whap!" Lower your gloves to see what she’s doing, and "Pop!," that quick jab comes over the top, followed by an overhand right if you don’t raise ‘em in a hurry. Keep your gloves raised, but spread ‘em so you can see what she’s doing and you might as well put your hands behind your back. After having a bit of fun with me, Joanne finally told me how to hold the gloves together to protect my face and peek over the top so I could see what’s coming.

As our session progressed, and Joanna became more comfortable that I could handle it, she started to hit a little harder, and midway through, she was occasionally hitting me full force to the body, though she always controlled herself when going for the head. And while she never really hurt me, she can hit hard, and I’m sure she could have done some damage if she hadn’t been holding back. I had an indication of that when she bent low, planted herself,  and stopped me coming in with a shot to the solar plexus which elicited a good "Oooff!" from me and knocked me back a step.

Other things that I remember are the way she would crowd me and push my gloves out of the way to get by my guard. While for the most part she didn’t need to move very quickly, every once in a while she’d exhibit some fancy footwork to get out of my way or give herself a better angle. The exchange that stands out most in my mind is when she lunged in low like a fencer with three straight rights to the body that drove me halfway across the room followed by a left to the head before I finally had the presence of mind to respond with a punch that caused her to back off. Like I said, she wasn’t hurting me, but getting caught by a four punch combination is just embarrassing

We weren’t timing the rounds, but we’d stop every couple of minutes and talk. Joanna showed me some boxing basics, and while it didn’t make me an expert, I was doing a lot better towards the end. I even managed to connect a few times, mostly by watching her and trying to duplicate her moves. Towards the end of the hour, we agreed to wrap it up.

Joanna is known as one of the more skilled women in the business and it shows. She hits hard and fast, and it could have been a really short session if she had decided to go head-hunting. As an observer of the women’s boxing scene, I have no doubt that Joanna could still get into the finals of a Tough Woman contest or compile a winning record if she turned pro.

After the session was over, we chatted for awhile, and since I was her last session, I helped her straighten up the suite. You know, aside from the obvious reasons that men engage in sessions, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find out how much I just enjoy meeting these women. So far all of them have been really interesting people whom you’re not likely to bump into on the street, and Joanna’s no exception.

In addition being the first Tough Woman champion, Joanna has a third degree black belt in Chinese kenpo karate. She participated in numerous karate tournaments, acquiring Schlitz Brewing Company as a sponsor, and was undefeated in New England for five years. Once, she  placed second in an open tournament competing against men. She retired in 1980 with a number two national ranking. Not impressed yet? She also raced for Husqvarna Motorcycles, before retiring number one in the nation in off road racing. And if that isn’t enough for you, she competed on the American Gladiators TV show during it’s inaugural season in 1989, where she made it to the semi-finals before dropping out after separating her shoulder in a fall. I asked her who she thought the toughest gladiator was and she told me that the only tough girl there at the time was "Zap," and she added jokingly that Zap was scared of her! Besides doing sessions, Joanna currently works in law enforcement and practices Brazilian Jujitsu in her spare time.

While I chose boxing, it should also be noted that Joanna takes pride in being able to deliver a first rate martial arts or wrestling session. As you can probably tell, she made an impression on me, literally! If you’re thinking of trying a boxing session, Joanna’s got the ability to make you appreciate her skill, and the control to ensure that your next stop isn’t the emergency room.
 

Hmmm, box a woman in a pastel, flower print? No problem!



Of course, there could be a few bumps in the road.



"Lets get ready to rumble!" What’s Michael Buffer doing here?



The view I had for most of the session, specifically the red part to the left.



Joanna raises her arms, confident of her victory - but the judges come back, it’s a draw!



Joanna gently suggests that the judges might care to reconsider. Impressed by her powers of persuasion, they review the bought and find that all three of them added up their scorecards wrong. It’s a unanimous decision for the winner and still champion, Joanna Needham!



Thanks Joanna, I had a great time! - Dragon