Corbin: The College Years, part 17.5

By Corbin, corbin@poetic.com

How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

Pre-Story Introduction/Ranting/Venting/Observations...

You guys are an odd bunch. Do you always click your brains OFF when around each other?

With the macho-big-man talk and female/women bashing, the lingering stares and lewd-barely-above-a-whisper comments: (Oh check her out, damn nice legs, shit man did you see her on the such and such machine) No lie, those are exact quotes I overhear when I am out and about.

And then...(I love this)...and then all of the sudden here comes the humble...’Uhm-uhm, would you like to go out some time?’

~~~~~~~~~

It’s a conspiracy I tell you...almost every time I go to the drive-thru ATM machine I get behind some jackass who is trying to figure out how to use the damn thing.

What the hell?

Where do these idiots come from!

ATM’s have been around for a LONG, LONG, LONG time.

Or...and I love this one...the blockhead who tries to insert something OTHER then an ATM card into the slot...fucking numbskulls...NO your driver license will not work, now promptly proceed to the nearest cliff and drive off it!!

I know I come across as a hard-ass in my rants, but I’m really a softy...a romantic softy...a gushing, gooey, blushing romantic softy...yep, it’s true. It’s just that life kind of tends to wear one down, ya’ know what I mean, I’m talking about real life not that bullshit you see on TV. ‘Reality TV Shows’ have nothing to do with reality; they are a distraction from Real-Life.

While I’m babbling on about life and such I’ll share another philosophy of mine (isn’t that nice of me :))

Well here goes...I believe that wisdom is something one is born with, yes you can increase your knowledge over time by applying yourself to studying, but how you use that knowledge (wisdom) is static. I mean, have you ever met someone that has incredible ‘book smarts’ with the ability to absorb all sorts of information, but just lacks common sense/wisdom no matter what? Just a theory I have. I would elaborate further but I see a few people nodding off...

~~~~~~~~~~

The other night, for a brief moment, I decided to flip some channels on the TV and I am now convinced that guys who participate in, and watch, Professional Wrestling harbor deep homosexual tendencies.

COME ON!

You have guys going into a ring, their bodies are all ripped, shaved, sweaty, and then proceed to grab...grope...slam and roll around for several minutes! Looks pretty homosexual to me, still not convinced?

Picture this: Two big guys slamming their shaved, sweaty bodies into one another while wearing tiny little briefs? Yep...damn queer if you ask me...hahahaha...bet I got a few macho guys second guessing their sexual orientation now.

OPPS!!...Antiques Roadshow is on....gotta switch channels!

Part 17.5

Don’t be so hard on Sharon.

I know I shouldn’t defend her, but I do and quite frequently because I have used harsh brush strokes to verbally paint her portrait. I should really show the more tender side of her...the girl that has my back...that looks out for me, that would defend me to till the end. In private she gives me hell, but it’s just her way I guess.

So let me jump right back into helping out Sharon’s image, cause it was the very next morning, right after the big blow-up in my dorm room that I lay there in my bed feeling totally relaxed. More then relaxed, but totally content, mostly because she lay next to me...comforting me...holding me...and yes in some bizarre way, Sharon loved mothering me with attention. I can’t fully explain it, but I’ll try :), Sharon has this ability to sooth every anxiety from my body with simple gestures, even more then Nikki ever could. All I did was lay there, each of us in our respective nightshirts as she gently stroked my cheeks. (you freaks, probably getting off on some lesbian images I bet, no we were just laying there innocently, gheeesh...) I even find myself forming a goofy smile on my face as I think back on this. How she could enrage me one minute and then absolutely comfort me with kind words and touches the next was, and still is, mind-blowing.

“How are things with you and Dale?” Sharon gripped Corbin’s right forearm with concern.

“Fine, I guess.” Corbin shook her head and clenched her fists nervously.

“So you want to talk about it?” Sharon sighed.

“Well, I mean, you know that I’m not all that experienced...” Corbin sighed without completing her thought.

“Yeah…are you still a…?” Sharon let the question hang out for a few seconds, not completing it, but waiting instead.

“Yeah,” Corbin grinned, “I made it clear to Dale that he had to back off on any expectations, which he’s done exceptionally well and Sharon…” Corbin eyes got a little tense with emotion.

”What?” Sharon leaned in, her voice barely above whisper.

“I think he’s totally fallen for me” Corbin whispered back.

“You mean you just figuring this out?” Sharon leaned back with shock.

“Well…I guess” Corbin looked at her friend a little clueless.

“Corbin” Sharon smiled shaking her head in disbelief, “Dale is totally in-love with you, your just starting to realize this?” Sharon rubbed Corbin’s left thigh with her hand.

“Well, we’ve been fooling around…” Corbin blushed and nervously fidgeted.

“It’s okay, just tell me what you want” Sharon sympathetically smiled.

“Thanks, we’ll we were kissing and lying on the bed, so he took his shirt off and…”

Sharon leaned in waiting anxiously and saw Corbin pause, so her left arm came around and gently hugged her friend for support, “It’s okay” Sharon smiled and let Corbin just lay and gather her thoughts.

Corbin smiled as she began to speak, “I could tell it was just torture for him, that he wanted to…you know…be with me in ‘that way’…so anyway he practically begged me to touch his…you know…” Corbin blushed some more and rolled her eyes at her inability to just blurt things out. “…so anyway, I basically…”

“Gave him a blow job?” Sharon impatiently asked.

“NO” Corbin made a pained look on her face, more so from how Sharon would just interrupt.

“Oh don’t’ act so shocked” Sharon pulled Corbin’s hands away from her blushing face.

“Have you given Kevin a BLOW JOB Sharon!” Corbin snapped right back, trying to throw it back into Sharon’s face.

“Yes I have!” Sharon sat up and smiled, then quickly leaned over and licked the side of Corbin’s right cheek.

“Fucking nasty Sharon...what the fuck!” Corbin brought her right hand up and quickly tried to brush the spit from her cheek.

“So you gave him a hand job...what’s the big deal?” Sharon shrugged.

“The big deal Sharon is that sex is sex...and you know...once you...start something...you know...” Corbin stuttered, her mind going in one direction as her mouth tried to play catch up.

“What the hell are you talking about? It’s totally different...” Sharon made a pained expression as she struggled to drag something coherent from Corbin’s mouth.

“Sharon look...” Corbin sat up while taking a deep breath and proceeded to cross her legs Indian style, “If I start in with anything oral then he’ll just start pushing for...for...more...cause he is like constantly dropping hints as it is...look I just don’t want the pressure...any pressure...I have enough with school and my studying is falling behind...” Corbin nervously played with her toes.

“It’s never going to work like that...and I’m not taking his side, but look, don’t put so much responsibility on your shoulders by trying to keep him at arms length...” Sharon rubbed her left palm over Corbin’s back to sooth out some of the stress.

“You think I enjoy this?” Corbin glanced to her right and then looked back down, “God Sharon I think about it allot, it’s hard to say ‘no’ sometimes.”

‘I have to admit, it feels pretty empowering to touch and stroke a man’s dick, errr...let me clarify that, MY Boyfriend’s penis! Watching him totally succumb to every touch, totally at my mercy...poor helpless creature...<evil grin>. Hell, I’ll admit I actually became a little possessive of it...I mean we weren’t having sex but still, the thought of another woman touching his ‘thang’ made me jealous...angry...grrrrr. First I’d kill him...then her...fortunately...that never happened, so no lives were lost :).’

“I mean and then WOW…he started to…you know...” Corbin looked Sharon in the eye with an expression of total amazement.

“And you’ve never seen a guy cum before?” Sharon raised her left eyebrow.

“No, but I have to admit, it was a turn on.”

“Did you take your clothes off?” Sharon asked.

“Yeah, well mostly, do you think that was a mistake?” Corbin asked looking over at Sharon, a panicked look on her face.

“Not at all!” Sharon smiled and hugged her, “Did you have one?”

“Yeah, but only because I did…you know…I did it myself.”

“So, overall, how was it?” Sharon wanted to know and be sure that Corbin was not getting in over her head, she was very protective of her friend.

“Gosh Sharon it was the most erotic thing ever, I mean you know how conservative I am. But he was very respectful which made it all the more easier.”

“I’m so glad baby, I’m so glad” Sharon kissed Corbin on the cheek and hugged her.

“But you seem a little…uhm…concerned? Maybe?” Sharon had to probe a little further, “What’s the big deal?” Sharon leaned in, “Sounds like everything went okay?”

“Well…” Corbin leaned over and opened the drawer to her nightstand, and pulled out an envelope, “…I found this under my door yesterday morning”.

“From Dale?”

“Yep” Corbin whispered and handed it to Sharon, “Go ahead, you can read it”.

Sharon carefully took the envelope and withdrew the letter, his penmanship with very neat she thought...

“Wow” Sharon shook her head and lowered the letter to her lap, “That was amazing, what a…” Sharon froze when she looked up at Corbin, “What’s with that look?” Sharon asked.

“Sharon” Corbin snatched the letter from Sharon’s hands, “He loves me? He’s head over heels in love with me? We’ve only known each other for a few months now!” Corbin was waving the white piece of paper in the air as if it was some piece of incriminating evidence.

“Corbin, it was so sweet, I think you’re making too big a deal about this, do you know what girls would die to have something so thoughtfully written!” Sharon protested.

“Yeah but, is he just saying that because of how physical things got the night before? Is he just laying it on ‘all thick now’ to get me in bed so we can go all the way?” Corbin looked back down at the paper, her eyes scanning it.

“Will you stop it!” Sharon snapped, “You’re the one acting loony!” Sharon said and snatched the letter back, “You are reading way to much into this, if you don’t want to go all the way then stick to it! And if he keeps pushing or isn’t happy with your decision then you’ll know this…” Sharon waves the letter, “…this talk about love was just that, allot of talk”.

Corbin merely nodded in agreement, she in fact thought that Sharon was making allot of sense, and besides, she did like being with Dale.

“Look babe” Sharon smiled, “Don’t let this freak you out okay? I know this is your first serious relationship and your scarred of…of…well…just nervous about allot of stuff, but don’t jump to any conclusions, I’m sure he’s just as nervous and scarred as you are.” Sharon tried to comfort her friend and then decided to push another issue. “Are you in love with him?” Sharon lowered her head and looked directly at Corbin’s expression.

The blonde’s mouth lowered a little as if to speak, but hesitated a few seconds, “I…I…don’t know…I just…I mean I really care for Dale allot Sharon, I really do, I’ve never met a guy that seems to really try and understand me or just…I’ve spent so much time focusing on my sports and school, I guess I just don’t want anymore distractions. But, I kind of blew him off the other day when he called which I think upset him, but I told him I was doing some intense studying. I did tell him that I really appreciated the letter, but I didn’t gush all over it, like I think he was expecting” Corbin rolled her head to the left and right to work out the stress. Corbin felt Sharon pull away from her and she looked to her right, concerned that maybe something was wrong, and sure enough, that serious look that Sharon can get was all over her face.

“What?” Corbin froze.

“I can’t believe your going to sit here and bullshit me” Sharon raised an eyebrow.

“What?” Corbin leaned back, trying to muster her own defensive posture.

“You’re falling for Dale aren’t you!” Sharon stated.

“What! Look…I told you, school…sports…I’ve got…lots of…you know, lots of stuff! I mean come on, LOVE Sharon? Love? Is this love?” Corbin raised the letter up again.

“Have you ever been ‘In Love’ Corbin?” Sharon’s eyes became soft and warm again and boy did it hit Corbin like a ton of bricks. Sharon watched as the pain came over her friends’ face, and her eyes glistened with emotion.

“I…I don’t know” Corbin swallowed hard to keep it in check. She was relieved when Sharon leaned in and hugged her tight, whispering in her ear, “It’s okay to be scarred and it’s okay not to know, just don’t make any rash decisions just yet, let things play out for awhile”. Sharon wasn’t trying to keep them together, but she realized what might happen if Corbin dumped Dale, ‘The poor guy would fall apart’ Sharon shook her head. She knew this from talking with a few of Dale’s other friends.

“I need to ask you something and please listen and give me your best down to earth answer” Sharon stood up and went to sit back down, but this time on her own bed which placed her directly across from where Corbin sat.

“Uhm, okay” Corbin said blinking her eyes with intense focus.

“I think, I am ready to do it with Kevin…go all the way” Sharon smiled.

“Really?!” Corbin looked on shocked, “I thought you two were already sleeping together...”

“WHAT! What the hell?” Sharon sneered with anger and shock.

“Well, your just so aggressive...” Corbin shrugged.

“Are you calling me a SLUT!” Sharon’s eyes narrowed as her lower jaw remained hanging open upon completion of the word ‘slut’.

“Just finish Sharon” Corbin sighed and rolled her eyes.

“You’ll pay for that little remark” Sharon puckered her lips as she gave her best glare. “Well, I don’t know if he’s ‘the one’ but he might be, but anyway, I can’t resist anymore. I am so horny Corbin, god when we start fooling around I am getting so tired of being the one putting on the brakes when making out.”

“So ‘you’ want this?” Corbin looked at Sharon with increased concern, “And your not being pressured?”

“Well, I mean yes he is pressuring me, but I don’t give a shit about that. He’s backed off when I told him he could go take a flying leap if he bugs me about it one more time. But now I’m the one that wants IT and bad…” Sharon leaned in and whispered.

“Wow Sharon…wow” Corbin’s eyes got big and that was all she could say.

“Hehehe...I’m horny right now!” Sharon laughed, “But look, I figure as long as I take certain precautions then I can really enjoy the experience…at least I better or it’s his ass!” Sharon smiled again.

“So what’s your plan?” Corbin asked.

“We’ll, he’s been wanting us to go on an overnight somewhere nice and I think he would really be happy knowing what might be in store for him” Sharon smiled and stretched out her long right leg, flexing it seductively.

“You going to use a condom right?” Corbin leaned in talking quietly.

“Why are you whispering?” Sharon leaned in and teased back.

“Oh, sorry”

“No, but here is what I am going to do…”

And Sharon proceeded to lay out her plan for her Weekend with Kevin.

“Wow Sharon, that sounds like a pretty good idea to me, seems like you’ve thought it all out pretty well” Corbin said as they both stood up.

“Yeah, so those will be my requirements, if he fails on any of them, then no sex and it will be over between us for good” Sharon grinned evilly, “But look” Sharon said and leaned over to kiss Corbin on the cheek, “I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you for listening.” Sharon smiled.

“Thank you Sharon” Corbin smiled and closed the door and almost floated across the room back to her desk, “Wow, just like that, things are back on track and she felt genuinely happy about it all” and just sat for a few minutes playing with the mouse on her laptop when a sudden knock at the door startled her.

“Oh Sharon…” Corbin smiled and walked to the door and jerked it open, she was surprised to see Dale standing there, with a rather worried look on his face.

“Dale!...Hey...What’s going on? Come in” Corbin said and stepped back.

“I saw Sharon leaving, was she up here visiting?” He asked.

“Yeah, we had a wonderful chat” Corbin smiled and walked over to her desk to sit down while Dale pulled up a chair from the corner. Self-consciously she pulled at her nightshirt to keep her panties covered. Dale could give a shit, his eyes zeroed in on her thighs and legs, her muscles seemed to have a life of her own...her calves killed him, how smooth her skin was and when she flexed them they became rock hard...and so did his dick.

“Huh!” He blurted out and looked back up.

Corbin was smiling, knowing what he was looking at, “I said, what brings you over?”

Clearing his thoughts he nervously wiggled until his butt sat on the edge of her mattress, “I’m sorry for not calling before coming over, but I was concerned that maybe my letter might have caused…uhm...maybe hurt things…for being sort of ‘over the top’ I guess?” Dale had his head tilted down and his shoulder leaning in a little.

Corbin looked over at him sympathetically and sat up to move next to him, she reached over to rub his shoulder affectionately, “It’s okay really, I’m just trying to keep up, that’s all and it was a really beautiful, intense letter, not that I don’t want things to be intense, but as long as we can keep things the way they are would be cool” Corbin smiled.

“Well that’s fine” He smiled, “It’s just that, you...us...has all caught me a little off guard you know, I didn’t expect to start feeling this way. College is supposed to be full of parties and fun…and…and while I get plenty of that, there’s something more here that I want to hold onto and see develop” He sighed with a smile.

“Dale, I totally understand okay, and please don’t feel like you can’t share you feelings with me, okay? I do want you to” Corbin reached around with her other hand and gave him a hug.

“Are you staying here tonight?” He asked as she pulled away, his hands reached over to rub her arms and shoulders, he loved the way her body felt and loved massaging her touching her muscles, his left hand came around and took the opportunity to squeeze her thighs.

“Yeah, I have allot of studying to do and don’t read more into that then it is okay?” She asked.

“Okay” Corbin smiled and he stood also, leaning over to kiss her, but she only allowed a short kiss on the lips.

“Okay, I gotta stay focused on the books and I’m looking forward to the party this weekend” She smiled and pulled away and walked him to the door. “Bye, bye” Corbin waved as she closed the door. He turned and smiled waving, the urge to tell her that he loved her was so intense that it hurt to hold it back, yet he felt he had to.

Corbin closed the door and let out a deep sigh of relief, already she could feel herself withdrawing from the relationship even after Sharon’s pep talk. ‘It seems as if I value my freedom way too much to get tied down right now’ she considered. “If he could only relax a little, then things might be okay” Corbin muttered to herself, yet she could see the change in Dale already, he was becoming anxious and worried about every little thing that came out of his mouth and over analyzed her every reaction.

“What to do…what to do…?” Corbin sighed as she slumped back into her chair.