Corbin: The College Years, part 16.5

By Corbin, corbin@poetic.com

How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

Introduction/Ranting/Venting/Rambling...

Summer...summer...summertime!!!

I love the summer...actually I love all the seasons, but my friends sometime complain that it’s too hot outside...YEAH!!! I wish it was hotter...I love the heat.

Speaking of hot weather, the thing that makes me feel the sexiest is my dolphin pro-back suit. Huh? What’s that? It’s a one piece swimsuit goof balls. It’s not lined :) but that’s okay.

I simply cannot explain eloquently enough how wonderful it feels to swim or lounge in the hot-tub after a workout...ohhhh muuuyyy gawwwdddd...that one piece suite, I love the feel against my skin and because there is no lining it sticks to my torso like a second skin, the dark blue enhances my abs, ahhhhh the lingering stairs.....

Hey, I work damn hard for this body so if I show it off now and again, so be it.

(Look folks, I know everyone on this site is used to reading all sorts of ‘Kick the crap out of your local-next-door-male stories’ But your just going to have to be patient....it’s coming...but because I am telling MY FUCKING STORY HERE, you just will have to deal with events leading up to it. I just don’t know how else to tell it...)

Part 16.5

Well, for the rest of the day everything was going quite well, except for one person that is. Sharon was furious, with herself...Dale...Kevin…the Sorority…and most of all Corbin; actually it was Corbin that she was particularly focused on. ‘The one person I need to talk with and I can’t because our fucking relationship is going down the tubes’. Since Sharon had little to no patience it only took another 24hrs to pass before her temper erupted, which oddly surfaced while attending a party at Kevin’s Frat house. Her mind wasn't focused on Kevin, the party, or planning another fucking thing until she got things settled with Corbin. Quietly she stood by the window, drink in hand while her emotions bubbled up and up…closer to the surface, pretty soon her left hand was nervously swirling the drink as she looked out the window, eyes transfixed on no particular object in the distance.

"You okay?" Bethany, one of her sisters asked softly.

"Yeah, uhm...” Sharon took a deep breath, “...look, I have to cut out early and go see someone." Sharon sighed, setting her drink down on the window sill.

“Where are you going?” Kevin came running up, putting his arm around her shoulder.

“I’ll be back in a few, I have to go check on someone that isn’t feeling well” Sharon faintly smiled, ‘Yeah me’ she thought to herself as a nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach took over when she considered what was sure to be an impending blow up. They had never had a big one before, but something in her was causing her heart to pound furiously and her body tremble as she made her way across campus. She drew lingering stars in her short dress and heels, but she was a woman with a purpose and strode directly to the dorm.

“What am I thinking, she’s probably not even here....” but that thought was cut short when she saw Corbin’s car parked in a lot several yards away.

“I don’t see Dale’s car, so...if she’s just studying...” but she knew Corbin was at her most irritable when she was trying to study, getting into ‘The Study Zone’ as she like to call it. Walking down the hall, she saw the light on from under the door and took a deep breath. She considered just using her key and barging in, but instead brought her fist up, hesitating for a second and then rapped on the door three times.

(Look, I don’t have a fucking clue if all of the above actually took place before Sharon came storming over that night, but something lit a fire under her. She’s such a social butterfly I can’t imagine she was doing anything else prior to coming over. But I know for damn sure what happened next...)

Sharon was correct, I was in study mode and did not expect anyone to come a knocking;

“What?” Corbin snapped in an agitated tone, nothing polite, just a swift ‘what?’

“Just me” came the meek reply on the other side of the door. Hmmm, it was Sharon and her tone had a little somberness to it, now my curiosity was peaked. ‘God what a contrast in appearance, Sharon dressed up in her black short dress and heels, then there was me…well…me standing there looking like I had just showered, wearing one of my soccer jerseys and a pair of grey sweats. How’s that for a sexy image?’

“Hey Sharon, what brings you...” Corbin was trying to ask when she was forced to take a startled step back into the room as Sharon brushed passed her.

“We need to talk” and the brunette ran her fingers thru her hair, up and over her left and right ears nervously, looking up from the ground into Corbin’s hazel eyes, a pair of eyes that had just a glint of irritation.

“What’s that look for?” Sharon said defensively. ‘God what a brat, she barges in and then gets defensive…gheesh.’

“Well, you just barge right in...” Corbin huffed, waving her left hand from the direction of the door towards where Sharon stood, her gesture conveying one of disrespect on Sharon’s part.

‘Yeah, that told her off, humph.....that will teach her, yeah right!’

“I used to live here too, you know...remember!” Sharon pointed to the empty bed on her right.

“USED...TO, are the two key words to remember Sharon” Corbin shut the door firmly.

‘Here we go’ Sharon thought closing her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Look, I’m sorry Sharon, I don’t want to fight....I’m just...” Corbin shrugged and took a couple of steps towards her bed and sat down.

‘I did that allot when arguing, I always felt that sitting down was a good way to disarm a potentially volatile situation.’

“We need to get allot of stuff in the open, so if you want to say something....angry or not...that’s fine, because I’m fed up with this tension that’s between us” Sharon swept her right hand from left to right as if cutting the very air in front of her.

Corbin looked up just a little stunned at Sharon’s directness, more so in the faint quiver now moving over the bottom of Sharon’s lip, “Well look Sharon, I know we’ve...” Corbin took a deep breath, “...we’ve...not had a lot of time together…”

“No time!” Sharon snapped.

“We’ll look, it’s not my fault!” Corbin looked up angrily and then quickly looked away, “Sorry” she moaned. ‘Ah fuck, there I go apologizing again, I always do that, I don’t like fighting with Sharon as she is really a soft, sweet caring person and she always has my back.’

“Don’t be sorry damn it!” Sharon took a step in closer, her voice raising, “I’m pissed off at you, at me and this whole situation.”

“Stop yelling” Corbin looked up, another glint of irritation in her eyes.

“Or what?” Sharon placed her hands on her hips, to which Corbin just looked away and nervously clasped her fingers together in front of her, periodically wringing them together. Sharon watched her friend’s breathing increase rapidly, when Corbin suddenly looked up at her;

“You don’t think I’ve missed you too!?” The glistening in her eyes and blushing of emotion in Corbin’s face caught Sharon totally off guard. A tell tail crack in Corbin’s voice was there as well and Sharon knew she was close, but then in total frustration she watched Corbin start to shut it all down emotionally as her blonde head turned away to take several deep, calming breaths.

“Look at me” Sharon leaned down and forcibly cupped Corbin’s cheeks trying to pull her friend’s head around, but when Corbin didn’t want to do something physically it was next to impossible to make her. Finally, Corbin relinquished her resistance and her head tilted up still in Sharon’s grasp, but she artfully dodged eye contact.

“I’ve missed you too” Sharon voice came down to something a little softer and then her grip slowly eased...slipping away from Corbin’s cheeks, slowly rising back to her full 5’ 8” height see waited to see if she had gotten thru to her friend at all.

“We’ll thanks Sharon, I know you mean it, but...” Corbin lowered head while running her fingers thru her hair, “...don’t you have to get back to your party…or whatever you took time out from to come over and deliver this little speech.” Corbin just sat looking down at her bare feet, curling her toes nervously waiting for Sharon to explode at that sarcastic comment. But their was nothing, just dead silence and Corbin slowly looked up just to make sure Sharon was still there. She was alright, just standing…with her hands to her sides as tears streamed down her cheeks, tears that had not been there a few seconds before.

Sharon took a deep breath and a sob came out as she went to try and speak, “Fine...” She choked back on her anger and sadness, “...fine...you want to hurt me...hang me out to dry...”

“You’re the one that moved out!” Corbin snapped, jabbing her finger at Sharon’s empty bed as her face glowed red with angry emotion, much in the same way a lawyer in court singles out a critical piece of evidence. It wasn’t even a conscious decision, but the next thing Corbin knew she was leaning forward to stand up.

“Well why didn’t YOU say something!” Sharon yelled back and quickly stepped in pushing Corbin on the shoulder, forcing her to sit back down.

Corbin’s eyes grew wide with a bit of shock and dismay, Sharon had never gotten physical in one of their arguments before, maybe playing around when they’ve wrestled but not while arguing, it took on a whole new meaning. ‘Well, we’ve never really had anything this bad before’ Corbin thought. Her whole body rocked back from the push as she had to stick her legs out to balance herself.

“What the fuck! Why did you do that?” Corbin looked up defensively, referring to the shove against her shoulder as she adjusted her butt back towards the edge of the bed. ‘I’ll give Sharon credit for one thing, she is one damn spunky girl and not afraid to get in anyone’s face when she felt compelled to.’

“Because!....Because!....” Sharon stuttered in a huff, her face and voice flustered, “We need to get this out in the open and I am getting fed up with you holding back on me!” Sharon stomped her right foot, “And if I have to kick your ass to get you open up to me then so be it!”

‘Sharon was always threatening to kick-my-ass, she never followed thru on it, but it was her way of maintaining some dominance in our friendship....another odd aspect that slowly developed over the years. That was just who she was, she liked bossing people around, making threats, that was just her style and I never took it personal but others did and understandably so.’

“What do you want me to say? Tell me! What am I going to say now that will make it all better?” Corbin yelled back and suddenly bolted to her feet before Sharon could push her back down and started making small pacing steps, that nervous kind of pacing that one does to relieve tension.

“Tell me that you want me to stay!” Sharon demanded and decided to take a step in, giving Corbin a little less maneuvering room. Corbin froze with a look of shock at how ‘in your face’ Sharon was now getting.

“Sharon look, we both make choices to pursue things in life and sometimes it’s going to pull us apart and then...”

“Then what?” Sharon jumped in, “Don’t you think our friendship is more important?” Sharon pleaded.

”Do you?” Corbin angrily snapped again, “You’re the one so busy, busy, busy with your stupid Sorority and whatever...” Corbin flipped her hand at Sharon as if she had enough and turned to her left as if she was going to walk out the door. But Sharon leapt in front of Corbin and slammed her palm against the door, just in case she thought Corbin might try and leave.

“Oh no you don’t!” Sharon hissed.

“Please...I’m not going to leave, so stop with the drama.” Corbin cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, I wasn’t sure” Sharon sighed and slowly removed her hand from the door. “But look, I’m here to try and fix things since you won’t come to me....” Sharon said, her voice wavered with emotion and leaned her head forward until it was but a few inches from Corbin’s.

“I’ve missed you too Sharon, but I’m not going to beg and plead for you to stop what you’re doing just to spend time with me. That wouldn’t be fair to you…us…regardless of how I feel about your parites and Sorority stuff....” Corbin shrugged and leaned her left shoulder against the wooden door, her head tilted soon after to rest. ‘It’s true, I despised the giddy/goofy/Sorority-Fraternity world, but that was just me and my vocal opinion of that only contributed to a rising level resentment towards me. Oh well...’

It wasn’t the angry tide of emotion that caused Corbin to finally tear up, but the way Sharon’s face suddenly lit up with that infectious smile of hers. For whatever reason Corbin felt at peace and could even recall that it was so reminiscent of the look Sharon had given her when they were on the field back in High School. Corbin rolled her eyes in embarrassment as she was not one to show allot of emotion, but Sharon quickly reached out to pull her friend in close, “Come here” Sharon whispered, and tilted her head to kiss Corbin’s tear stained cheek and felt Corbin’s right hand come up and wrap around Sharon’s back as they clung to one another, quietly for several seconds.

“I’m sorry” Sharon sighed and lost her composure yet again and took Corbin by the hand to lead her over to the bed. Sharon kept Corbin’s right hand clasped within her left while patting and stroking her friends arm and fingers.

“We’re still friends, you’re still my best friend” Sharon pulled Corbin’s hand up and kissed the back of it. “And I hope you still think of me that way as well?” Sharon smiled, but a lingering crack in her voice reveled she was still emotional as well as a bit unsure, feeling as if she had been replaced by Nikki.

Corbin smiled and looked up, her hazel eyes looking as intense as Sharon could ever remember, “Of course I still think of you as my best friend”. ‘Uhhh, that wasn’t the total truth, Nikki and I were really close at this time and I knew in my heart that the two would never function together socially, their personalities were so at odds with one another, so I was torn. Stupid huh, I sat there making amends with Sharon while contemplating a future tragedy; That I was going to have to let one of them go.’

“Great, then…then we need to start making time for one another. Because honestly, fuck school, boyfriends and whatever, this is the most real thing I’ve ever had in my life and nothing will get in the way of it again” Sharon smiled.

“Until the next Sorority Party needs to be planned” Corbin grinned and couldn’t resist the taunt.

“Oh, ha...ha...ha...” Sharon mocked, faking a look of hurt.

“Just kidding” Corbin sighed as Sharon teasingly bumped her left shoulder into Corbin’s right.

“Seriously, it means so much to have you come by and talk” Corbin pulled her right hand free from Sharon’s grasp and wrapped it around her friend’s back. Sitting together, they clung to one another for several more seconds, simply enjoying the silent moment of reconciliation.

“Oh well, stupid pride you know?” Sharon moaned.

“I know” Corbin replied, “But I really didn’t want to bother you because you looked like you were so happy with how everything was going”.

“Thanks,” Sharon sighed, “But what it did to our friendship wasn’t worth any of it”.

“It hurt pretty bad for a awhile that I had pretty much block things out to stay focused, I didn’t mean to ignore you or blow you off but it was the only way I could cope” Corbin said.

“Oh sweetie” Sharon’s face winced like she might cry again and pulled away, gently stroking Corbin’s cheeks, “Why oh why didn’t you call me sooner?”

“I dunno, I think I just wanted prove I could stand on my own you know, after having such a hard time fitting in the first few weeks” Corbin shrugged with a smile and that was the first time I ever admitted that, the fact that I was struggling to find my niche in school.

“And look at you now, my god! You’re on the Soccer team, Academically stellar and dating one of the hottest guys on campus, seems like your taking over!” Sharon smiled broadly, her blue eyes lighting up with pride. Corbin blushed and smiled form ear to ear and spontaneously kissed Sharon’s right cheek in appreciation, but paused for an uncomfortable second when she expected Sharon to pull away but did not. Was Sharon a little freaked out? She did suddenly pull back some, and Corbin thought Sharon looked a bit nervous. It was just the emotional heightened state, that’s what made Corbin’s friendly kiss on the cheek feel more then it probably was.

‘Yes, that’s it, just high emotions, nothing romantic here’ Corbin told herself.

‘Yeah you can tell yourself that all day long but I knew I was treading on dangerous ground here. I mean what the fuck? I have a boyfriend! I need to just focus on him...yeah...focus...focus...have to focus. But damn the hint of Victoria Secret scented bath oil on her neck and cheek, her hair and makeup. The tan skin...god dammit! What the fuck?...’

My eyes were blinking and sweat was rolling down my face, ‘You don’t look at your best friend this way! Shit I’m messed up in the head, now you’re looking at Sharon funny? First Nikki...NOW Sharon?!....I’m doomed....you’re bisexual....no I’m not....yes you are....oh no....oh fuck I’m arguing with myself in my head now.’