My Story Part 65
Corbin



**********

What the heck! I have developed this irritating tick/twitch on my left lower
eyelid. It doesn't impair my eyesight, but it's so fucking annoying! How
retarded, I have to squint so that it's not noticeable, which only draws more
attention to it. This has been going on for weeks now but I've been reluctant
to go to the doctor because I'm hoping it will just go away. Sometimes it
stops, but most of the time my lower eyelid will just spontaneously begin
twitching, involuntarily! Just great, this is all I need.

I can place my finger over my lower eyelid and sometimes feel the nerve or
muscle or whatever-the-fuck actually spasm under the skin.

I bet if I stick my finger in an electrical socket and give myself a good jolt
the little fucker will stop twitching. Well, not a good idea, since it might
also stop my heart....thus killing me...moving right along to plan B. But
there is no plan B, so I guess the twitch goes on.

**********

Several months ago, not long before Sharon and I parted ways (Dating that is,
we are still very close friends), we were sitting in this deli eating lunch
when I was caught doing something that I often criticize guys for.

"What are you doing?" Sharon leaned across the table and whispered, but for
sure her tone was one of irritation, regardless of how low she was speaking.

"Huh?" Squeaked out of my mouth feebly and I jerked my head to look at her.

"Huh?" Her pretty face mocked me with this goofy look, "You heard me!" she
snapped but still kept her voice low.

"Nothing." I groaned but I knew I had been caught and what made the moment
very uncomfortable was the realization that my whole head had proceeded to
turn and follow this girl as she walked by us and up to the counter. But I
didn't stop there, after watching her walk by I continued to simply stare. She
was very attractive, but it was the tight, baby blue yoga pants she had on
that seemed to command my attention. So there I sat, ogling this girl's ass
blatantly, but I can now admit that it was one of the most beautiful butt's I
have ever seen, period! I can say that now without shame, but back then I just
looked down at my sandwich and blushed a little, a bit ashamed and feeling
very awkward, perhaps uncomfortable in the moment with my own sexuality. Had I
really just openly checked out another girl? And I did so totally without
thinking about it? But why am I surprised by that? After all, I am involved
with a girl. The confusing thoughts kept coming even when I thought I was
comfortable with everything and the direction my life was going in. The
questions just kept coming and still do sometimes.

"Very, very nice." Sharon's voice is real low now and I know what's coming
next, "You have excellent taste." But it's a taunt on Sharon's part, a build
up to further ridicule.

So I just shrug.

"She does have one beautiful body." Sharon continues.

"Sorry Sharon." I look up with big sad eyes trying to avoid being dragged over
the coals, because as you probably know Sharon has a big ego. And again, I
should remind you readers Sharon was emotionally the dominate one in our
relationship.

"You will be later, you'll be kissing MY ass tonight." She smirked in this
unfriendly way, but only she and I would know what that means and so my heart
began to pound until I felt faint and flush because I knew she was serious.

But enough of that.

**********

Privately I got a chuckle as the Mr. Big Body Builder still had a priceless
'stunned' reaction on his face from Sharon's dismissive comment.

But anyway, Kelly's finger hovered over the keypad of her cell phone while I
had scooted close to the edge of my chair. Why? I dunno, but like I said
something didn't feel right, did Taylor come over looking for a fight?

"Chill everyone, I should have known Sharon was going to be less than cordial,
so we'll head on."

"Good idea." Sharon sits back into her chair which brings me some comfort but
I'm still looking up and down the beach. Most everyone has packed it in for
the day but there are still a few people around, enough that if something did
happen it might draw some attention. Taylor appears to turn, as does her
entourage, which in turn causes my heart to leap with relief.

"You know Sharon..." Taylor paused and now my stomach knots up again...damn so
close to a peaceful resolution, might still have one so I tried not to think
about the negative.

"...I'd be interested to see how much that mouth of yours runs when you're out
of your comfort zone." And Taylor wags her finger in my direction, then at the
beach house we're staying at. Well that comment got Sharon was on her feet in
one fluid blur, "I'll be running my mouth the same as I am now!"

"But running your mouth is all your good for, nothing else."

"Come'on guys!" I'm standing now but have to pull that damn bikini out of the
crack of my ass.

"Corbin please, let Sharon stand on her own two feet for once." Taylor raises
the palm of her hand toward me, but I just look at Sharon as if waiting for
her to tell me what to do.

"I can take care of myself." Sharon states in a cold tone, only giving me the
briefest of glances.

"Of course you can, or you think you can because Corbin is standing right
there, while another buddy of yours is ready to dial 911. Like I said, always
in your comfort zone Sharon." And I'll be damned if Sharon seemed speechless
for a few seconds as her hands came to rest on her slender cocked hips while
she appeared to be contemplating something. Did someone just freeze-frame the
moment? Because no one moved or said a word and there was like almost twenty
people around us now, including all the girls from the house, the guys with us
and Taylor's group. And now I'm nervous, shaking nervous.

"You want me to knock your block off here or somewhere else?" Sharon says and
starts to swipe the sand from her thighs and hands as if she's ready to get
down to business.

"What!" I snap, tears are filling up my eyes as I can't believe what I am
hearing...no need to mention what is transpiring before my very eyes.

"Here will do." Taylor pulls her cap off and sunglasses off.

Then Sharon does something that didn't immediately register at that moment,
but in retrospect seems like she had her mind together. She quickly bent over
and snaps up a bandana with her right hand from her beach bag, then quickly
wrapped it around her right knuckles. Personally I just want to wake up from
this nightmare. Trying to disguise the trembling in my voice from how
emotional I was getting, I say "Hey, this is crazy, there are families right
over there." Pointing down the beach, but I'll be damned it was like I wasn't
even there, everyone's eyes and ears were focused on Taylor and Sharon. I
glance over my left shoulder and Kelly has her phone at the ready, I then turn
back to look in Sharon's direction just as Taylor handed her cap and
sunglasses to one of the girls in her group. When Taylor turned back around it
was too late as I was too far away, Sharon's whole frame seemed to leap
forward, her right fist leading the way until it connected with the left side
of Taylor's face.

"HEY!" Was the only thing I could muster, the rest of my voice had choked up
with emotion, tears were streaming out of my eyes almost instantly. I mean I
really lost it as I ran forward with arms outstretched, I managed to push on
Sharon's shoulders driving her back, but the punch had been thrown...the
damage was done, if not physically, then to any chance of maintaining the
peace. The big guy in Taylor's group had stepped in and held Taylor's two
other friend's back from charging Sharon, yelling out an encouragement of
"Give'em room!" Thanks buddy, you stupid fuck! Those girl's wanted revenge all
right, can't say I blame them either, Sharon had totally sucker punched
Taylor. Oddly enough, I was sort of proud of Sharon.

So I've got my hands gripping into Sharon's shoulders, and vice versa as she's
trying to get around me but I'm not letting her. She's also pleading as tears
stream out of her own eyes, "Please Corbin don't interfere, I've got to settle
this."

"Shit! Damn!" Now those pleasantries were coming from behind me, it was Taylor
cursing, I recognized her voice and glanced back, she was up on both feet now,
her left hand cupping her left jaw.

"Go ahead call the police now, she threw the first punch so it's self defense
I'll claim."

I'm loosing my mind again, how do these things happen like this? I look over
at Kelly who has this bewildered scared expression like 'What should I do?'.
Everyone had that expression of fear on their face, but thankfully several
people are moving between Sharon and Taylor, pleading with both sides to calm
down. Thank god this crowd showed some common sense!

Unfortunately Sharon was quick and determined, I'll give her that and I'm not
talking about the punch now, but while I was distracted she bolted from my
grasp, running around me. She dodged a couple of other folks and went straight
for Taylor who this time saw her coming and the two girls just seemed to
tackle one another in an entanglement of arms and legs. Then they were out of
my vision and on the ground. I didn't have far to go as I practically dove
through people to get to where the two where scuffling. Before I even got
there I could distinctly hear Sharon's voice grunting and struggling in the
sand with Taylor who was emitting her own heavy groans. My worst fears were
realized when I saw Taylor using her weight advantage and had rolled on top,
trying to what I could only assume was to pin Sharon down. Taylor did in fact
have control of Sharon's left bicep, finally pinning it down and that was my
cue to try and pull Taylor off before she started throwing punches down at
Sharon's face. My two hands were reaching out to pull Taylor off, but first I
had to dislodge one of Taylor's friends from my right arm, obviously since the
fight looked to be going Taylor's way she didn't want me to interfere.

I easily yanked my arm free and shoved her away, sending her flailing back
several feet. I turned back to grab Taylor when Sharon managed to free her
right hand and punch Taylor's left jaw again, not once but twice! So I
froze...

...and now I just watched with everyone else. I don't think the punches really
hurt Taylor as they were from the ground, but they did connect on that same
left cheek Sharon had tagged earlier. It was enough of a distraction that
Sharon had time to thrash violently on the ground, combine that with the
shifting sand and she was able to scoot from under Taylor. I actually was
almost cheering her on!

Wait...I had to get a fucking grip. As soon as the two scrambled away, I guess
to get their bearings? (Not me, I would have been all over Taylor as she
retreated. Yeah sure, I'm talking big now huh :) Sharon had literally backed
up to my feet, so I took that opportunity to haul her up and then dragged her
from the circle. She fought me every step of the way and verbally protested
but there was no way I was letting her go. All the girls were around her as
were the guys, trying to calm her, about damn time too. But I was still
paranoid and looked over to see Taylor pacing while her left hand would
massage the side of her face, I'm sure it was pretty sore too or would be
later. Periodically she would pause and bend over, bracing her right hand
against her right knee.

It was a confusing volley of threats and accusations before Taylor and her
friend's finally departed. Sharon alternated between crying and pulling
herself together as I brushed the sand off her body and checked her over for
any injuries, just a few scratches and a couple of bruises on her torso, but
that was it, thank god. Also, and I don't know how, but that small pink bikini
of hers managed to remain in position keeping the privates all covered up.

"Hey everyone!" Sharon called out and wrapped her right arm around my neck for
support, more moral then physical. Once all the girls and guys were round us,
Sharon then proceeded to invite everyone back to the house that night for a
party which kind of surprised me, but I think she wanted to try and
immediately take everyone's mind off what just happened. Besides, we had been
there a whole week and gotten to know these guys pretty well, they were nice
and every day on the beach we would all congregate, so it was kind of a
farewell party.

As we collected our stuff Sharon remained defiant with what happened, "I'm not
sorry Corbin, she had that coming."

"It's okay Sharon, I understand." I sighed. If you're surprised by that
response don't be. Sharon obviously had allot of emotions bottled up that I
was unaware of.

As I watched Taylor and her group disappear from view, I got the feeling she
was pretty shaken up. Just by the nervous way she was pacing and the way she
kept touching her cheek, I guess three fairly good punches would leave a nice
sore spot.

Enough of that crap, my mind was on other things. Like had Sharon really
thought about what might happen by inviting all those guys over tonight? But I
let it go, I just didn't want her to get mad at Vera for sleeping with one or
two guys tonight and I knew she would because that is just the way Vera was. I
was thrown for another loop when we got back into our room and Sharon grabbed
me, pulling me in close for a kiss and then grinding her body against mine. I
wasn't expecting it and I certainly wasn't expecting her to be so...well so
forceful. But I didn't need to do anything, Sharon was pulling off her suite
as well as mine and pushing me on the bed, never mind the fact we were covered
in sweat, lotion and a little sand, all of that seemed to actually add to the
spontaneity of the moment. It felt and smelled like we were still on the
beach...then memories of that night came flooding back and I was now into the
moment...and in the mood. We probably made love for at least half an hour when
she rolled off of me and flopped onto the bed to my right. We were covered in
a fresh sheen of sweat as we caught our breaths.

"Sorry." I heard Sharon say and that caused me to look over, she was crying
again and I immediately sat up.

"Sorry for what? You still upset over the fight?" She nodded her head 'yes'
and I just brushed the tears away. I know the feeling, all the emotions that
can rise up inside of you and with nowhere to go, they sometimes get the
better of you.

**********

So let's cut to the chase, the guys showed up and there is nothing exciting to
tell. It was not a wild party and not because it was in Sharon's house, it was
because we typically are not like that.

"Because Corbin and I are a couple." I heard Sharon say in one group
conversation. I was across the room but it had obviously caught my attention,
so I had to find out what the question was. Upon my approach Sharon turned to
me and pointed to one of the guys, "He wanted to know about keeping in touch
after we go home and I told him you and I were already involved. Better to
just get it out you know?" Sharon looked at me calmly but I sensed she was
uneasy about the fact she had not consulted me first, as if I might be upset.
It really was no big deal as all of the reactions were fairly predictable,
from astonishment to the simple raise of an eyebrow as if it was no surprise.
It went over allot better then when we spilled it to all the girls in the
house. Besides, it was bound to come out I guess since most of the week had
become a series of awkward moments as I dodged requests for my phone number,
go out to dinner, dancing...anything and everything.

Now Vera, Rachel, Kelly and Jenn were all being very flirty with our male
company and as the night wore on, the more inebriated everyone became the more
people became openly affectionate. No vulgar displays of open mouth kissing in
the middle of the large living room, just some of the girls were now sitting
on the guys laps. Sharon surprised me all the more by her very laid back
attitude, I was totally shocked when Vera walked up to her and whispered a
question if one of the guys could sleep over, in her room to be specific.
Sharon simply shrugged and said "Sure." In fact, Sharon had this whole
distraction going on that I couldn't figure out at all, but didn't pursue it
at that moment.

While Sharon and I dated, she did a good job of getting me to dress up more,
instead of my preferred dressing down. Normally I would be sitting around in a
pair of cargo shorts and a tee shirt, but tonight I had on a nice skirt and
tank top which she said helped show off my body. "Do it for me, I like to see
you with less clothes on." She would plead, to which I would give in, but not
always.

Inevitably a few of the guys cornered me to discuss the great shape that I was
in and how strong I was, how often I worked out. This topic had already come
up before several times on the beach, but apparently some of the guys wanted
it to be the primary conversation all of the time. One guy was even bold
enough to ask me to make a muscle with my arm so he could touch it, so I did,
it was very innocent just a quick firm grip on my bicep. Some were genuinely
interested, after all I was in better condition then any of them, not that
they were slouches but let me just clarify that I was more 'defined' then any
of them. Still, even with Sharon's declaration of our relationship status
several guys were not deterred, and continued to press for phone numbers and
dates. That went the same for Tina, even after flashing her engagement ring
several times they still pursued her for something more.

Like I said, all fairly tame stuff really, it wasn't until 2:30AM that
everything wound down. Some guys were sober enough to go home, some were
passed out on the couch while Jenn, Rachel and Vera retired to their
respective bedrooms, each with a new guy friend. Vera, I wasn't surprised
about, but Rachel and Jenn took me off guard. But then again, these were guys
they had bonded with over the course of the week so I just hope they use
protection.

I helped Sharon clean up the kitchen, we didn't talk much because it was nice
to enjoy the peace and quiet after a long night of noise. "I have an idea."
Sharon said when we got to our room and proceeded to pull out some bathing
suites.

"What?" I just asked. Yes I was tired, but still not so sleepy that I wanted
to object and so I let her lead me out to the pool. She stopped us just short
of the entrance where the showers and a small changing room stood, a 'pool
house' if you will, so we could change into our swimsuits.

"You coming in?" Sharon asked as she descended the later into the pool, I
stood at the edge contemplating for a minute before sitting down, letting my
feet dangle in the warm water.

"Just going to relax for a minute." But I had another question on my mind and
decided to probe some, "So tell me, why did you bring me out here?"

Sharon didn't answer right away, but had this smile on her face as she
performed a slow leisurely swim in the vicinity of where I sat.

"You know why." Sharon glanced over at me once and smiled.

"Is this some new fetish of yours Sharon? Making love outside?" I could feel
the blush in my cheeks and glanced around once again. In the dark of the dunes
it gave us the feeling of solitude and secrecy, I hoped that's what she had in
mind and not trying to do something in this pool. The lights were turned down
low, but still, everything was illuminated and I wondered if we were being
watched by any of the neighboring beach houses. Probably not, it was almost
3:00AM, and every light was out. More importantly our own beach house backed
right up over the pool and several of the bedrooms had windows overlooking the
this area.

'Stop being paranoid.' I thought but never got an answer as Sharon submerged
under the water for several seconds, I watched her body move gracefully thru
the underwater shadows and resurface between my knees, that mischievous smile
already on her lips. Her eyelids blinking several times as the water droplets
cascaded over her head and eyes.

"Sharon!" I leaned forward with a gasp, "Where is your top?" when I suddenly
realized it was no longer on her. She never said a word; her right hand
emerged from the water holding her pink top. I looked around and leaned
forward again, "Stop!" I hissed but I suppose my smile gave away my own
weakening resolve.

"You'll really be surprised with this." Sharon seductively said and I watched
Sharon raise her arm from the water, she smiled as she rotated her hand to
reveal her bikini bottoms.

"Sharon!" I leaned in some more and gasped, but my eyes and lust betrayed me.
Sharon tugged and I shifted my legs until my buttocks were on the edge of the
pool.

"Hmmmmm" Sharon sighed as she pushed my knees apart, "Now that's in the way,
isn't it." Her eyes traveled up from where my suite covered my crotch and
stared into my eyes as if waiting for me to comply with an unspoken request.
My head lowered and I hunched my shoulders a bit, I was feeling a bit shy and
embarrassed for some reason as I slipped the straps off my shoulders. I looked
up behind me at our house and all the curtains were closed and that gave me
some relief as I started to remove my top, although anyone from inside the
house could easily be spying on us and I wasn't at all thrilled about letting
anyone watch Sharon make love to me.

"Your so cute." Sharon bobbed a little in the water, observing my cautious
behavior and reluctance. I really dragged out the last part, untying the small
bow on the side of my bikini bottom, I then leaned to one side to pull it
free. I was now totally nude and I must say totally aroused, evident in how
hard my nipples were.

"Closer." Sharon whispered as her head moved in deep within my thighs, I
shuddered when I realized what she was after. God I felt so vulnerable,
sitting nude as I opened my legs, now my sex was completely exposed to Sharon.
Slowly I watched Sharon's deliciously long tongue lick run up the length of my
slit, then flick at my clit. My chest heaved as my fingers flexed, gripping
the edge of the pool. Sharon prodded at my hole with her tongue and I thrust
my hips forward off the edge to meet her, at the same time I could feel a
finger flicking at the very base of my vagina, her nail teasing from one
orifice to the other. It made me shutter and whimper, I no longer gave a fuck
about being nude, my eyes alternated between closed and open as I struggled to
keep my balance.

Softly, Sharon dipped a finger into my entrance, then in one steady motion
pushed it inside, all the way to her knuckle. I moaned and arched my back, my
long legs flexed out straight and I had to wonder, 'If a finger elicited this
kind of stimulation from my body, imagine what a penis would feel like'.
Sharon leaned down and wrapped her mouth around my clit and she sucked it hard
as she explored me with the length of her finger. My hips began to buck to her
every stimulation, and then Sharon curved her finger inside of me stimulating
me further, that combined with her sucking lips and flicking tongue coaxed an
orgasm out of my body. It peaked when she withdrew her finger and thrust two
up into my tight dripping tunnel. As if possessed, I rammed my hips into her
face, trying to somehow bury her even further inside me, I was really feeling
those two fingers now as my ass scooted erratically around the edge of the
pool. My whole being shook with the force of the orgasm that overtook me as
she kept up the steady pressure on my clit. Once Sharon's touches subsided I
shuddered one last time and slowly lowered myself backward collapsing onto the
ground behind me, arms splayed at my sides. My legs remained apart, as limp as
the rest of my body, I felt Sharon kiss my sex delicately causing me to
shudder and moan again.

Not a word was spoken as I slowly sat up. Sharon moved back as I lowered
myself into the water and then she moved right up to me, our kiss came fast
but then slowed and I could taste myself on my her lips and tongue. What had
happened to me these past few days I began to wonder, I was doing things that
I had never done and doing it with this girl, and my best friend! It makes for
a dangerous combination. We stayed in the shallow part as we kept kissing,
sucking on each others tongues for long minutes, then moving under water, but
still we kept kissing and hugging. It was as if I felt complete, more so then
with any boyfriend.

Sharon suddenly pulled away and climbed out of the water, I watched the water
cascade over her tan, firm backside, I was momentarily mesmerized. She then
took up the same position on the edge of the pool where I had sat earlier.
Sharon's lips were already spread and dripping with moisture as I played a
finger along her folds. I sucked the engorged clit into my mouth and continued
in a slow teasing rhythm, Sharon really got into this, her whole body would
sway as she watched me go down on her. In a moment of weird aggression I would
sink my teeth into her inner thighs, sucking and biting my way up to her sex,
this act Sharon loved as it always caused her to buck and squirm, sometimes
even squealing with delight. That was enough to send her over the edge and she
shouted, "I'm coming, yes, don't stop. I'm coming." Her whole body heaved as
she came, her muscles clamping around my two fingers inside of her now as her
thighs squeezed my head, yet I kept sucking her as she came, shaking with each
new ripple that coursed through her body.

"Fuck," she said when she had finally caught her breath, "That was
incredible." And slid off the edge back into the water where we gently
masturbated each other, mouths slurping at each other's breasts as our fingers
circled our targets.

Finally we were spent and slowly made our way back up to our room. I don't
recall what time it was when I drifted off to sleep, but I do recall waking up
with the faintest hint of sunrise coming up. I needed to pee so I untangled
myself from Sharon's embrace and stumbled off to the bathroom, which was right
out side of Vera's room. I mention that fact because of the noises coming from
her bedroom and with the door cracked I found my curiosity was getting the
better of me. I did initially reject the idea of spying but my voyeuristic
side took over and I leaned around the corner to peak. But I already knew what
was happening, my ears were being assailed by the distinct sound of two people
having sex and from the all of the moaning it was obvious things were well
under way. What I didn't expect was the visual site that came into view as my
head peaked around the corner.

Yes I felt guilt and shame for peaking, I should have just gone into the
bathroom and then back to bed. But no, I had to peak, besides I've stumbled
upon couples having sex while at parties when I've gotten lost in a house
looking for a bathroom, only to open a bedroom door. But now I wanted to see
and fortunately my eyes were well adjusted to the dark, although as I
indicated the sun was starting to creep up. The sight before me was outrageous
and emotionally I couldn't seem to process what I was seeing. There was Vera,
totally nude, standing spread-legged, but leaning over the bed with her arms
out and braced against the top of the bed. Behind her was the guy she had
taken to bed earlier in the night, well at least she was consistent on this
particular night, he too was totally nude. What threw me was Vera's open
stance, allowing him maximum access, her legs were straight and as I indicated
she was bent forward at the waist. His right hand was on her hip moving her
back and forth, there was no lovemaking between them, it was a fuck, and from
how she moved and sounded Vera was enjoying every bit of it.

My mind seemed to suddenly split in two, part of me was repulsed and found the
scene a total turn off. All of my fantasies and dreams always involved women
and men that I knew intimately, the idea of sex without love always seemed to
fall outside the realm of my understanding and desires. But here I was, eyes
riveted to these two people, doused in sweat and panting desperately, my eyes
watched him periodically reach up with his left hand and grip a handful of her
hair and pull back. It looked uncomfortable, but Vera simply let go a long
moan of pure pleasure causing her to further arch her back.

There was a combination of factors that kept me rooted in place, the wonderful
sex Sharon and I had just hours earlier still reverberated throughout my body
and mind, the fact that I was standing there in the nude (I don't know why I
mention this other then the fact that it added a greater element of exposure
on my part, making me all the more aware of my own sexuality as I watched). So
the battle in my mind continued between seeing this as an erotic sight, versus
the lack of passion, love and emotion. Then there are the audible stimulants
of their sweaty bodies loudly slapping together, Vera's vocal grunting and
backward grinding indicated she was lost to everything, except having this man
fuck her (Vulgar I know, but that's all it seemed to be).

My body freezes in panic as I watch him back away from her and pull out,
thinking I was discovered, but then he slowly moves forward again. This time
he lowers himself a little (and I have to stop and say that a part of my
subconscious seemed to be studying this with a degree of analysis, sounds
scientific and cold I know, but part of me was trying to relate to all of it.)
Anyway, it was a lewd sight as he hunched up and over her all the while she is
arching back and that's when I noticed how the sounds seem to fade away, but I
realize it was due to the pounding in my eardrums. My heart rate had
significantly increased, it had snuck on me and now I was aware of my open
mouth and breath coming a little faster (That's my raw emotional side now
trying to take over, remember I had this internal struggle going on). Suddenly
I could see a noticeable difference in the muscles along the back of his body
contracting and then relax as he let out a long, loud moan. Well that was my
cue to leave, so I took a step back and into the bathroom, quietly closed and
locked the door as I pulled myself together. Shit I was even sweating a good
amount as I stood in front of the mirror trying to collect myself, bring
myself down because as you can guess I was definitely aroused. I wondered what
it must be like, to allow oneself to simply enjoy something like that, to
disconnect emotionally and to turn yourself over to that pure sex drive in all
of us (And get your mind out of the gutter you punks, because I never thought
about joining in with them for a threesome...gross!). Anyway, those thoughts
and questions are nothing new for me as I've wrestled with this many times
before, which goes to show you kind readers that I am human and have moments
of intense temptation that requires allot of soul searching but more
importantly mental and spiritual fortitude. I've ached for it before, to be
with a man that is, to enjoy the same thing that Vera was doing in the other
room. But that lust, or drive, always crashed into a mental block...a wall if
you will. Girls and guys like Vera either never had that wall of resistance or
crashed thru it a long time ago. It directly conflicted with my desires for
control and of course 'My Plan', to marry first, I can't loose sight of that.
Well, I won't rehash a long rant about my personal beliefs because I've been
down that rant many times over.

Looking around the bathroom I was immediately stressed out that there was no
towel to wrap around my body. I was having a very modest moment but took a
deep breath and quietly exited that bathroom, successfully getting back to the
room and into bed. I didn't get much sleep as I lay there with those damn
images recycling thru my mind over and over. So I just pulled Sharon close and
tried to relax.