My Story Part 50
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman. 

**********

Some people live their dreams
Some people close their eyes
Some people's destiny passes by

What are the reasons why
Nothing stays the same

Someday I'll try to forget them
Someday I'll be over you

**********

My father is the Service Manager for a Motorcycle / ATV / Watercraft (little boy 
adrenaline junky) Store. 

While in High School (and some in College) I spent some time working behind the 
Parts Counter to earn a few extra bucks. Beats the hell out of retail, and 
department stores...or so I thought. I was hoping it would be easy 
street and I could get allot spare reading/studying time in, but that was rarely 
the case.

Guys were always in there, packs of them, something I used to poke fun of. I'd 
be sitting at my terminal, reading a textbook when I would look up and there 
would be like six or seven guys standing there from my school, or just from the 
area. That always killed me, there are like two or three other part reps behind 
the counter, why come bug me? Yeah...yeah...I know why...I'm just bitching as 
usual.

"You guys always travel in packs?" I would smirk and close my book.

"You been riding this summer Corbin?" I would always get asked. My father had 
bought me a 2002 Kawi KX125, but I rarely rode it. It was fun the first summer 
but just not my thing. I would just shake my head 'no'.

I never did girly stuff (mainly because I don't usually pal around in large 
packs of girls), and I kind of avoided the ultra feminine route with the jobs I 
took and the sports I played. These choices always put me in frequent contact 
with 'Cool' guys in the area, who were always involved in the 'cool' sports and 
activities, like motor cross, watercraft and other outdoor activities.

The hilarious thing was this, most of these guys were rugged, athletic, good 
looking and pursued by most of my female peers. Yet, here they were, always 
coming into store to buy stuff for their ski's, bikes, ATV's...you name it. All 
I had to do is sit at my station and they came swarming around. That made me 
real popular with the other girls (NOT!). 

I bet some of you gentle readers are fairly bright...so here is a pop-quiz:
After I am done helping some guy and I ask "Is there anything else I can get for 
you?", What response am I likely to get;
a.) 'Just your phone number'
b.) 'A date would be nice'
c.) 'Dinner and a movie'

If you picked any of the above you got the answer right. See, that's wasn't so 
hard, I hope it didn't overtax your brains. :-)

Young...old....you name it, but the older guys were much bolder with asking me 
out.

One mouthy brunette girl came tagging along with her boyfriend and a few of his 
friends one day. She's cutting me these looks all the while I am sitting there 
looking up parts for the guys until some guys start asking me to go riding that 
weekend, when I decline Ms. Mouth speaks up; "I guess blondes don't really have 
more fun."

"Actually..." I say, while still typing, "...Blondes ARE more fun. That's why 
your boyfriend and his buddies always come asking me to hang out with them." A 
few muffled laughs later and she is fit to be tied.

"Dream on you muscle head jock. At least I got a boyfriend." Well, now her 
boyfriend is asking her to cool-it. I stand up to get the receipt that is 
getting spit out from the printer behind me and new she gets a good look at my 
height and build. She must be 5' 2" max, so my 5' 11" frame kind of towers over 
her, and she's getting a bit more quiet. I hand the receipt to the guy on my 
right as I smile, thanking him for the purchase.

I look at the girl, while giving my best customer service smile, "We'll there be 
anything else." She just gives me this eat shit look, but I can tell she's 
biting her tongue. I brace my hands against the counter top making sure they get 
a good look at the muscles running up the length of my arms. I normally despise 
showing off, but now seemed like a good time.   

I was biting my tongue real hard because I didn't want to get fired by my Dad of 
all people.

Maybe next time I'll tell about one of the first times I went riding, I was 
getting the hang of things on some pretty rough terrain and ended up beating 
the crap out of some guy because he was razzing my riding skills in front of 
everyone, which I can take...be he kept going and going and going and 
going.....I had him eating dirt after I got done with him. 

**********

I tried to distract myself by standing next to the sofa end-table, casually 
flipping thru a magazine. I then turned around, sure enough Sharon was standing 
there smiling at me, like she knew I would eventually turn around. We kind 
of just stood there awkwardly until Sharon let out a sigh and asked;

"I promise I won't ever kiss you again, will that make you happy?" She asked.

"No. I mean yes, Whatever." I shrugged and paced away from her and 
around in a random circles, why I don't know. Sharon on the other hand seemed 
totally calm, simply standing in the middle of the room with her hands 
clasped in front of her, again all very calm.

"Did you have a good time?"

"NO." I snapped and nervously plucked at my shorts, shoving my hands into my 
pockets and then pulling them out again. 

"You lie." She smiled at me. "Again, I'm sorry about tonight." She stepped in 
and grabbed me by the shoulder and tugged. "Maybe it was just the speed of the 
songs, perhaps you would have danced if it was something slower." Sharon 
stepped in closer and was right up against me, her left hand touched on my right 
hip. I continued to play dumb at this point until I realized that Sharon was 
trying to get me to dance with her, by this time my heart was pounding so hard I 
couldn't hear the music any longer. I did protest at first as she pulled me to 
the middle of the room, just because a part of me was still angry with her and I 
do love giving her a hard time. Sharon kept swaying her hips hoping I would join 
in. Something in me relented and I turned my head around, and started to follow 
Sharon's lead as our bodies swayed to the song, which I don't recall the name 
of, my mind was way to stormy to recall that particular detail. I was trying to 
go into 'casual' mode, thinking about all the times Sharon and I have danced 
before when out at parties and clubs, that this was just the same, no big deal. 

"You cold?" Sharon asked.

"No, why?"

"Your just shaking a bit. Just relax." She sighed. Just relax? I wanted to run 
to the bathroom and puke my guts out I was so nervous and scared. I felt like 
some retard because my mind was spinning off into fantasy land with my 
girlfriend while she was just trying to have a good relaxing time. Anyway, I 
forced myself to take a few deep breaths and let my fingers glide over 
Sharon's shoulders and arms as we began to sway back and forth, our bodies 
finally settling into a slow rhythm until our eyes found one another. So 
here was my dilemma, how do I look at someone that has been my best friend 
for years, but now was on the verge of becoming...something else?

I felt Sharon bend her left knee and slid her leg forward, prodding my 
thighs apart, I relaxed and let her knee push in-between my legs, the whole 
time I kept telling myself I need to pretend this is my boyfriend Robert 
across form me. But did I do that? Hardly or at least I wasn't making much 
of an effort. I was still trembling a little, we were just kind of holding 
one another and moving with our cheeks touching one another. Sharon would 
whisper something nice and complimentary, I would thank her and just kept 
wondering if I was about to wake from this steamy dream. The music never seemed 
to stop, I recall a low sensual voice singing in the background and I could feel 
Sharon's fingers tracing the outline of my bra strap thru my shirt, following 
it's lines down over my shoulders to where it clasped in the back. Later, I 
realized my fingers had done they're own navigating, up and down Sharon's back.

"This is nice." My shaking voice said and I felt that electricity flow from 
the ground up, that energy that rises up in your body when you're about to 
engage in something new and exciting. With our heads pulled back a little, I 
could see that the front of our bodies were totally pressed against one 
another.

"I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I've always been jealous of 
you." Sharon suddenly whispered.

"What?" I almost froze, well I did for a second because this news was a shocker, 
and why is she telling me this now?

"Yep, the way you seem to effortlessly be comfortable in your own skin, how 
beautiful you look without ever having to work at it, how guys and girls just 
gravitate...."

"Oh god stop...stop Sharon." I pleaded, it was getting nauseating. I did 
appreciate all the compliments, but felt she was going over the top. I felt 
her hands slip around my waist and her fingers lock at the base of my back, 
pulling our stomachs in tighter.

Another song went by and we danced quietly, until she pressed her lips 
against my cheek and kissed me. I suddenly froze, my heart suddenly 
filled with fear, like a runaway elevator that was now plummeting out of 
control into the depths of despair. I was on the verge of tears and had to 
shut my eyes to hold them back. That was it, I knew what was coming and let 
it wash over me in a series of slow movements, I could smell the sweet 
perfume radiating off Sharon's still sweaty skin as stray strands of damp 
hair would graze and cling to my own cheek. I think we were both gasping a 
little, because the rush of excitement was something I seldom had ever 
experienced (except with Nikki). Kissing on Sharon's neck and she on mine, was a 
delightful experience. The kissing only started a momentum that carried over to 
our hands that sensually and carefully explored each other, covering hips, back 
and arms. As if on command we tilted their heads and leaned in until our 
foreheads pressed against one another, the tips of our noses rubbed and I kept 
my eyes closed.

I don't think I've ever felt so overpowered by a moment, my lower privates 
throbbed and butterflies made my tummy tremble as I cracked an eyelid to watch 
Sharon moisten her lips with her tongue. I gave a faint nervous nod and 
my chest took quick frantic breaths as Sharon's soft lips lightly grazed mine. 
I suddenly brushed my mouth upward as my lower lip briefly caught on Sharon's 
upper and she leaned in, maybe not even a quarter of an inch and our soft 
fleshy, lips pressed. I thought I might hyperventilate and as if in unison we 
both pressed in and I have to say, it was one of the most intense moments I 
can remember. The mix of tears, saliva, hot panting breath and our tongues was 
an overpowering taste that I will never forget. At the same time it was 
absolutely terrifying, to be so emotionally vulnerable, feeling as if I 
was unraveling with every passing second.

As if on queue we suddenly pulled away from one another, gasping, wet lips 
trembling. My mind was spinning, I mean what the fuck, I'm standing here 
tonguing my best friend? I was gasping for air as if I had just ran a mile. 
The emotions in Sharon's eyes spoke volumes to me and then Sharon moved in 
once again, this was my first reality check at just how aggressive Sharon 
really could be. It was like she was trying to devour my lips, her tongue 
whipped around inside of my mouth unlike any boy I have kissed. But she 
was also gentle and soft, caressing away the tears from my face. It was the 
softest, most sensual sensation I had ever felt, it was kind of awkward at 
first. But I discovered that Sharon liked to kiss 'rough'. Rubbing, sucking 
and nibbling on my lips.

Trust me, several times I was thinking: Oh fuck, what am I doing, kissing my 
best friend like this. And the things she would say...when Nikki and I made 
out, it was normally quiet, but Sharon liked to talk....sometimes nasty, other 
times nice and sweet...

The intensity of the kiss simply seemed to grow, and soon it was just a long 
string of moans and grunts as our lips and tongues wrestled aggressively 
against one another. We seemed hell bent on devouring each other as spit 
began to ooze from our suctioned mouths.

"Kiss me, keeping kissing me, please", Sharon kept moaning as she lunged her 
mouth after mine, I just about had an orgasm when Sharon sucked on my tongue 
for several seconds, I mean what the fuck. I've never, ever seen Sharon kiss 
another girl and here she was going at me like a pro! But in the end, it was a 
gentle, tender light touch that ended that first kiss as we slowly pulled 
away, each of us breathing heavy and unevenly. 

Fear, panic, hopelessness was crashing in on the moment, and my trembling from 
lust and love had started to turn to anger as I became quiet and stood 
still, turning my head down and away. 'You cant do this, this is going to 
fuck with your head too much, how can Sharon ever love you the way you want 
her too, stop it now, stop it all now!' My mind screamed for me to put the 
brakes on something that Sharon would most likely see as an erotic fling, 
only to leave my heart in pieces, no matter how good her intentions.

"Corbin?" Sharon's voice came out trembling, her hands now cupping my cheeks and 
that's when I warned her, "Don't bullshit me Sharon." I swallowed hard, my tone 
demanding but pleading at the same time. I think she understood, she seemed a 
little shocked that I doubted her so I tried another approach;

"What I'm saying is, just don't break my heart." I tried to demand, but just 
ended up burying my face into her shoulder and began to cry. Sharon had burst 
into tears herself by then. It was as if years of emotional pain and longing 
were being released. Perhaps subconsciously I knew of the pain that was to come 
down the road...you'll see.

Sharon pulled away and smiled, "Well, this definitely changes things."

Shit, you can say that again.

That kiss was about as bold a move as either of us could handle and we slept 
in her bed that night, clothed, yet it had more meaning then any time before 
that.