My College Years Part 15 By Corbin How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young Woman. ********** I was riding the metro over the weekend and a nice older man offered me his seat. I initially refused but he insisted, wow something so simple as this stranger offering me his seat and all because I am a woman. Isn't that silly? What does that say about society today? When we are surprised by good manners. I am so full of contradictions, I realize this, but while I want to be Independent and strong (mentally, emotionally and physically) and I know, I give men a heap of grief. I still found something so sweet and endearing as being offered a seat on a subway. So anyway, the whole reason we (Sharon, Nikki and I) were riding the train to begin with is that we were taking a nice little vacation up to D.C. over the weekend, to take in a few sites. Let me just say that if anyone plans on going up to the D.C. area STAY OFF OF ROUTE 66! It is a freaking parking lot all day and night. That is why we ended up on the train. Even though Sharon initially refused "I am not riding a stinking subway." She protested all day, that is until we sat in traffic for almost an hour, that changed her fucking attitude really quick. Oh, before I get on with part 15, some people have asked how I style my hair. My hair? What the hell? Why does that interest anyone? Well in any case, apparently this is a subject of interest for some folks unfortunately it's not exciting. It's straight, when the weather is cold it's straight, when it's hot/humid/windy straight! Dirty, clean, sweaty it's STILL STRAIGHT!!! And it's about shoulder length right now, a little past the shoulders actually. I hope this has alleviated a great many concerns and those individuals can now sleep easier at night. ********** My eyes grew wide as I looked down at Steve's hand. Instinctively my left hand, which had been folded in my lap, flew out and back handed his right forearm thus knocking his hand from my knee with a loud *smack*. "What the hell are you doing?" My eyebrows fused together in anger and disgust. "I thought you said that you were unsure, if so, I just wanted to let you know that if things didn't work out with Dale, I thought it would be cool if you and I could hook up, that's all." He shrugged and tried to act nonchalant about the whole thing. "Are you morally retarded?" I fired right back. "What?" He looked at my befuddled. "For you to hit on me, in your friend's apartment." I started to seethe. "Hey chill out, it's not that big a deal." He leaned back in his chair, acting a little like the one who had been insulted. "Sneaking around behind people's back and putting out dating requests in case things don't work out with your friend is pathetic." I snapped. "You think so?" He leered at me with contempt over my flying insults and high-brow moral stance. "If you think it's no big deal, then why not get it out in the open, let's just get everyone together when Dale gets home so we all can know what everyone's game plan is. That way you and Dale can synch up and you can outline your dating strategy when he and I split down the road." I was now leaning onto the table with my right elbow. "Look! Your blowing this way out of proportion!" He interrupted while shaking his head and stood up. "Where are you going?" I snapped and quickly came to my feet. I wasn't sure what just happened inside of my brain, but something flipped and I wasn't going to let this guy or anyone off so easy. Perhaps it was the building pressures that had been mounting for weeks; the stress of school, sports, and my friendship with Sharon. But, in any case, I wasn't about to let this guy off so easy, nor feel sorry my actions. "What?" He looked at my strangely, his upper lip curling with humorous shock, "I'm going back to watch TV" he pointed casually to the living room. "You want to watch TV? How are you going to do that with me in your way? You'll have to get thru me little boy, unless you apologize." I took a step back and tore off my light weight jacket. I was beyond caring at this point, I figured this guy could probably beat the crap out of me, but I was hedging my bets that he would back down first, 'besides I'm at least as tall as he is, maybe even an inch taller'. "I'm not fighting you!" He said with a little shock and nervousness creeping into his voice. Steve was totally blown away by how I was reacting, I guess he never had any 'girl' threaten him like this...what made it even worse was how he appreared to be second guessing himself. "Fine, then I'll be the one throwing all the punches." I shrugged and shook my arms out, my muscles flexing and tensing as I rolled first my left, then right shoulder. "Have you lost your mind! I'm...I'm...I'm not fighting you, you're in my place, now leave!" Steve pointed to the door. I stepped in and put my hands on my hips and smiled, "Make me leave." We stood like that in our stand off as he looked me up and down quickly, trying to asses how serious I was. "And another thing, as a guest in 'Your Place', you are one hell of a rude host to be hitting on your guest!" Pointing a finger at myself, "And did I give you permission to touch me!" I took another step in closer, "DID I?" I loudly snapped. "No." He said with a mumbling noise barely above that of a whisper, but his eyes conveyed true shock. I'm sure he had seen a few girls sloppily smack it out in a parking lot or bar while intoxicated, but I was looking him dead in the eye and seemed as collect and serious as anyone. "But you did touch me, didn't you!" I snapped again. "I'm sorry, look I was just trying to hit on you!" He shrugged a couple of times. "You're sorry? That's your idea of hitting on a girl? No wonder your single!" I placed my hands back on my hips and cocked my head to the left in disgust. "I'm sorry, OKAY! Jesus...what else do you want!" He sighed. I just kept staring at him and shook my head in disgust and reached over to pick up my jacket. "I'm going to wait for Dale in his room." I growled and turned to walk down the hall. "What are you going to tell him?" Steve called out. "We'll see." I called out, not looking back. "But I apologized!" He yelled, but I just slammed the door shut. I threw my coat into a corner chair and flopped back onto the bed, I began to massage my temples with both hands, trying to ease the stress out of my body as I felt my heart pounding in my chest. As the seconds ticked by and I increased my breathing, I could literally feel my heart slow down to a more regular pace, it was an invigorating sensation, the feeling of my own heart beating in my chest. 'What the fuck' I thought, 'This is definitely not High School...its worse', my eyes blinked open and I stared at the ceiling. (Should I have decked him? I guess not, sometimes I think I should have. I'm also more aggressive now then I used to be...so had that happened today I would have him in a choke hold on the floor babbling out his apology while struggling for air.) I bolted upright when I heard the front door open and heard Dale's voice, quickly I stood and opened the bedroom door. Dale was standing there with a couple of bags of groceries in his hands talking to Steve, when he turned and saw my at the end of the hallway. "Hey!" He called out, his face suddenly lighting up with a broad smile. "Sorry, I had to stop and pick some stuff up." He sighed and set the bag down on the counter. "That's okay" I smiled. I caught a glimpse of Steve cringe when I leaned in and kissed Dale, he probably wanted to vomit with jealousy. ********** "I'd like to talk a little bit about us...and maybe where you see things going?" Dale asked as we sat eating our Salads over dinner. "Okay, fire away." I smiled and kept eating. "Well, I was hoping you could fill in some of the blanks for me." He paused, looking over to where I was sitting on his right. "Like, what kind of blanks?" I stopped eating and sat back in the chair, giving him my full attention. Actually, this was exactly what I wanted to talk about, but was glad Dale brought up the conversation. "Well, like how you really feel about us...about 'me' I guess I should say, your just so quiet allot of the time, but not all of the time." He looked back down as if suddenly at a loss for words. I reached over with my left hand and gripped his right wrist supportively. "I know I'm not the easiest person to get to know Dale, but I don't have allot of experience with dating, that's all, so I'm sorry if you feel like I'm shutting you out." "Are you seeing anyone else?" He suddenly looked up. "What?" I made a somewhat pained expression, "Where did that come from?" I pulled my hand away defensively and for the first time my heart dropped like an elevator plunging out of control. It was an awful, sickening feeling. "I'm sorry, I apologize, but you see the last girl I dated." But he never got a chance to finish. "You're old girlfriend? What does she have to do with anything?" I asked innocently, and it was a sincere question on my part. My lack of dating experience left me totally clueless to the emotional baggage that prior relationships could weigh down over a person. "Well nothing, it's just that by the time I found out she wanted to see other people, she was ALREADY seeing other people. She never told me in advance that she wanted to 'date around', that's all." Dale tried to explain, but he could tell I had a perplexed look on my face still. "Okay, look..." I interrupted as he tried launching into another explanation, "...just forget whatever happened with your previous girlfriend okay, because I doubt I'll be able to fully understand what that has to do with me." I sighed, I was becoming a nervous wreck and not at all used to divulging my emotions or allowing herself to be vulnerable emotionally with anyone, other then Sharon and Nikki...or my parents. Dale was trying to settle himself down and figure out the 'right thing' to say, but all he kept coming up with was a flood of questions, which just seemed to be annoying me. "Okay, well, then I guess what I am trying to finally talk about is 'commitment'." he said as I looked over at him, with a certain amount of cautiousness to my stare. "It just feels like maybe we might have the same feelings, but we've never actually come out and said it...you know?" he said as I nodded yes, but was still quiet. Finally I sat back and took a deep breath, "I'm not seeing anyone else Dale, I don't want to see anyone else and honestly I just assumed that we were in a serious relationship, although I...I mean 'WE' have NEVER talked about it, that's true." Dale kind of slumped his shoulders forward a bit and seemed to relax as if some weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Just to hear me say those reassuring words was such a relief. "Well..." I propped my elbows on the table and looked down at my salad, "...I guess I haven't been as open as I should." I looked up, my intense hazel eyes a little softer and more understanding, which was a huge relief to him. I watched his right hand reach over and touch my left elbow, instinctively I moved my arm and took his right hand into my left, "Tell me." I said softly. "I just assumed..." Dale smiled a little, "...that with us going out on dates now that...well...that uhm, were both seeing each other exclusively." And I tightened my grip on his fingers reassuringly. "What is it?" He quickly asked. "Just that, I'm glad we talked about this because I'll tell you right now, I will not date someone that wants to date other people." I leaned back suddenly and got a stern look on my face, which prompted Dale to lean forward a little more. "Corbin, that is exactly the same thing I want, there is NO other girl that I think about or would want to be around then you." Dale smiled. I felt more comfortable around Dale as along as I maintained some emotional and physical control in the relationship. As we headed back to his room I asked, "Do you mind if I shower here?" "Please, help yourself." I noticed him watching me lean over, rummaging thru my large gym bag full, like trying to sneak a peak at my 'personals'. "I think I can manage from here." I stood straight up and turned around to face him, the small bathroom put us in tight proximity. Now he was looking down at my breasts, something I had always kept as off limits, I had kept almost everything 'off limits' to his growing frustration I would assume. "You sure?" He asked with a smile, "Maybe you need me to wash your back?" He asked, half joking...but still hoped. "I'll be fine." I smiled and pointed for him to go back into his bedroom. "Okay, well, if you need anything, I'll be right out here." He said and walked back out to his room, laying back on his bed with a sigh. I saw Dale hanging up the phone as I stepped out into the room, "Who was that?" I asked and Dale spun around sitting up, to see me now standing in the doorway. I was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a long sleeve v-cut, button down tan sweater. My hands vigorously running a towel over my wet hair. "Craig." Dale said as he continued to sit up, watching for my reaction, but I gave none, "Do you know Craig, he's on the Football Team?". "Nope, never met him...heard of him...but that's it." I turned around and walked back into the bathroom. "Hey I, do you want to go out?" "Where to?" I said, stepping out into the bedroom, running the brush thru my hair, then bending at the hip so it hung straight down to the floor. "Huh?" he said looking up again, he appeared a little distracted. Shaking my head with amusement, I repeated myself, "I said, where to? Do you have someplace in mind?" "Oh, yeah, that new bar that opened up, there having a big bash there tonight." he said. "Oh yeah?" I casually flicked my wrist towards my bag, tossing the brush into it, "Is that what your buddy Craig was calling about?" "Yep, that was why he called." "Well," I thought for a minute, I looked over at my bag and contemplated what to do. "If your not interested..." He tried to down play it. "No...it's not that, I like to get to bed early that's all..." I seemed to be talking more to myself then to him at this point. "We can get back early enough for that." He quickly interjected. "Uhm, well..." I wasn't keen on relying on anyone to get around and looked over at him seriously, "...then promise me that we're leaving there by no later then ten o'clock! Because if you think you want to stay later, we will just drive separate so I can head back to the dorm to get some shut eye." I looked him dead in the eye and Dale seemed to quickly decide he would rather have me spend the night here and give up a late night of partying. "Promise!" He raised his right hand, "We will leave no later then ten o'clock!" and smiled. He stood up as he watched me turn around and pull my bag out of the bathroom and toss it into the corner. "Okay, let's roll." I said and stuffed my ID and Cash into my pant's pocket. "By the way, you look gorgeous." he gushed. "Awww, thanks" I smiled as we walked down to the car, "You don't look half bad yourself." I chuckled. I had to admit that dating Dale that month was one of the most confidence building experiences I could recall.