My College Years Part 12 By Corbin ********** I've mentioned in the past that I am very picky about who I date, now what justifies as being picky? Well, in a world where almost anything and everything goes, the field of dating material is growing might thin. Right from the word "Go" a man with tattoos, body piercing, involved with drugs or smokes is instantly eliminated. Tough shit, I believe you should not defile your body with stupid pictures and metal objects stabbed into your skin. If you get over those hurdles then you just have to be at least 5'10", athletic and humble...that's it!! Amazing huh, you thought the list would be incredibly long and complex. Yet you would be amazed (or maybe not) at how few men out there, that are athletic AND humble. ********** (Lot's of dialogue so skip it if you have ADD) Over the break, I did some running, to keep my cardio work up. It took my mind off the fact that Sharon was a ghost. Although my contact with Nikki was becoming more frequent, I still found myself on the verge of boiling over with anger, which oddly enough was fine with me. 'Anger is an emotion, although not always a healthy one, it's making me feel more alive then I can remember in a long...long time.' I even took a break from the gym, almost a whole week when it dawned on me; 'You almost have a 4.0 grade average, you are athletic, you have a great friend in Nikki, and guys are hitting on you like there is no tomorrow: SO SUCK IT UP!' Basically I had snapped, not in the bad sense, but out of my funk and the very next day I went into a local gym to begin lifting again. Driving home, I hoped that another lengthy discussion with my parents would not ensue; they had quizzed me in length about boyfriends, actually the lack thereof and my obsession with working out. Mostly though, I had been able to convince my parents that working out helped my in soccer and I retold a few dates I had been on recently. My 'ace up the sleeve' were my grades, always they were high, the prior semester grades came back putting me at a 3.89 Average. "What the fuck!" I took my foot off the gas as I let my car roll down the street towards my house. I caught my breath, trying to be sure as I stared at Nikki's car sitting in my driveway. It was easily a two hour drive for Nikki and I was not at all expecting her, but that didn't stop me from practically busting thru the front door, my eyes quickly scanning every inch of the foyer, before finding Nikki sitting in the kitchen talking to my mom. "Nikki!" I gasped, my face breaking into a big smile. "Would you not slam the front door like that." My mom complained. "Sorry mom." I sighed and walked around to that beautiful black haired girl and we embraced in a tight hug. "Sorry to drop in uninvited." Nikki smiled as I pulled away, both of us sat back down at the table simultaneously. "Sorry?" I glared dumbfounded, "Are you kidding, I was going to give you a call later, this is even better!" I now sat grinning ear to ear, "You have to stay for dinner." I reached over with my right hand and gripped Nikki's left wrist urgently. "We were just talking about that." My mom piped up. "Yes, I would love too, thank you for the invitation." Nikki looked at my mom and nodded in appreciation. "Let's go up to my room to chat while I change out of these gym clothes." I quickly stood up and Nikki turned back to my mother and smiled, "It was nice meeting you." before following me upstairs. We had barely gotten into my room when I invited Nikki to stay the night, "Nic you have to stay over, you drove all this way, I don't want you driving back tonight." I unzipped my warm up jacket, revealing a grey tee shirt drenched in sweat. "Oh I don't want to impose." Nikki sighed and walked around my room, slowly taking everything in. "Well, I'm still blown away, what brings you all the way out here." I stood, hands on hips watching Nikki pause in her surveying of the room. Slowly she looked to her left, "I just wanted to see you." Nikki smiled and shrugged, her right finger ran along the edge of the dresser. "That' it?" I questioned with a perplexing shrug. "Isn't that enough?" Nikki whispered back as I barely looked back over, and if I wasn't mistaken a hint of blush filled Nikki's cheeks. "It is for me." I sighed and sat on the edge of my bed to untie my shoelaces. "Well, if you can hold on, I'll jump in the shower and then talk to my mom about you staying over, I mean it's really a done deal I just need to tell my and dad." I walked into the room in a pair of jeans, sandals and a loose white sweater. She watched me as I vigorously rubbed a towel over my wet hair. "I feel overdressed." Nikki sighed and stood up as we went back down stairs, looking down at her knee length wool skirt, dark grey with a silver button down blouse. "Never, you look wonderful." I glowed and took her hand, leading her downstairs. The rest of the evening was spent about the upcoming year and soccer as well as boys and such, but the subject of boys was one that Nikki seemed to oddly avoid, which was strange to me because Nikki had a boyfriend at the time. It was on this particular night, as I sat n the den talking with Nikki when my mother called out, "Sharon's on the phone Corbin." I actually paused for a minute; it was stunning to hear the words that came out of my mouth, "Just tell her I'll call back!" While I hated to be petty, there felt some justification in my actions. 'It was Sharon who had been the one leaving our friendship behind when it didn't fit into her schedule' and so I looked back over at Nikki who seemed perplexed at the way I was blowing off Sharon like that. "You sure? I don't mind if you want to go talk, she's your friend and roommate." Nikki tried to interject. "No, it's okay really" I sighed with a smile, but it wasn't okay in some ways. "Sharon would talk my ear off for the next couple of hours." "That's for sure." Nikki mumbled which drew a small chuckle from us both. "You don't think very highly of Sharon do you?" I suddenly looked over to my right from where I sat on the couch, but I was afraid I was being too direct with that question as Nikki sat silent for a second looking at the TV with the slightest smile still on her lips. "It's okay..." I sighed, "really, Sharon can be a bit much to take at times." I playfully pushed my right elbow into Nikki's left bicep. Still, I studied her face and watched as my friend glanced to the stairs leading up stairs, perhaps wondering where my parents were and if we would be disturbed. My eyes followed Nikki's and heard my mom up in the kitchen, to which I smiled. "I don't know Sharon at all." Nikki said flatly and left it at that, to which I decided not to push the subject any. But felt as though there was something else on my raven haired friend's mind. "What is it?" I said quietly, "Don't worry, my parents are great about privacy, what's on your mind?" I lowered my voice a little more. "Well" Nikki sighed and pushed her hands into the cushions below, forcing herself to sit up straight. I followed suite and sat up next to her from my lounging position, "This sounds serious." I teased. "Well not really serious, just something I've noticed." Nikki smiled, that smile of hears that could disarm people with a look of serenity, although you never really knew what was going on behind those dark eyes, "Now, we're friends right? So don't take this question the wrong way." Nikki's face remained relaxed and the smile never wavered, which helped to relax me although I was getting tense, obvious by the way my left hand clutched the pillow in my lap. "What?" I sat frozen, not one for patience I was about to burst with anticipation. "What are your feelings about men?" Nikki had her eyes locked on mine now and I felt like a deer in headlights, even worse like a lab rat whose reaction was being intensely scrutinized. "My feelings?" I simply stuttered the question back at Nikki momentarily confused or acted confused, but I quickly understood what Nikki might be getting at and was actually sitting there trying to decide to play dumb or if I was up to the discussion. For one second I thought Sharon had put Nikki up to this, since it had become Sharon's pastime, pestering about my 'social life'. Nikki stood by her question, and didn't back off and sat quietly waiting, in fact she seemed prepared to sit as quietly as possible for as long as necessary until I spilled my guts. But the reaction Nikki finally got was totally unexpected, in a few short seconds, my face transformed, the tone of my cheeks become blushed as my eyes darted away for a second, but quickly returned to meet hers. I felt cornered, but I was a woman willingly trapped, I wanted to discuss my frustrations with someone and not even Sharon had seen this vulnerable side of me. "You mean," I noticed my voice was weak and I even glanced over my left shoulder up to the kitchen. And Nikki sat, waiting to hear what I was going to say, "Why I don't have a boyfriend?" I sighed and rolled my eyes but relaxed upon feeling Nikki's right hand gently grip my left wrist supportively. "Not at all." Nikki shrugged, "Just how you seem so 'on guard' around men and I guess women too for that fact." Nikki stated. "Well aren't most girls guarded that is?" I challenged back. "Some maybe, but you're a little more so." Nikki calmly added. I sighed with a blush, "Yeah, I am I suppose." I then smiled knowingly, "I guess it comes out almost as being resentful." I actually looked angry for a second. "I know, I've seen it." Nikki nodded in agreement. But then I looked away and as if contemplating something for a second maybe even trying to make my mind up about something until I finally refocused my stare towards Nic. "But I do hold men responsible for they're actions to some degree and feel justified in that blame." My look remained focused and stern. "They're not all like that." Nikki said quickly, "Rob isn't like that" Nikki said about her own boyfriend, but not in a defensive way. "You're right just only most of them are." I griped with a smirk. "Sounds more like a problem with society as a whole." Nikki actually smiled a little. "We'll, maybe your right on that point, but I'm not so much angry as I am frustrated. I feel like I've had so many close encounters with guys that would make such a great friend or," at this point I blushed a little, "You know, a boyfriend even, but something always gets in the way." I slunk down into the sofa and let my head rest against the cushion behind me. "Something always seems to get in the way." I whispered while staring at the ceiling. "I tend to pull the plug a little early on my guy friendships, they never want to remain friends anyway you know." my voice trailed off. "I know, oh how I know. It's also about time you accept you're too beautiful a girl for a guy to try and stay friends with, they're going to want to take it to the next level." Nikki smirked. "Oh please." I chuckled and even snorted a little at Nikki's comment about my appearance. And then Nikki fully understood, as she sat up a little straighter and leaned close in as if to make her point very clear, her big beautiful eyes narrowed up as she softly spoke, "You're uncomfortable with how good looking you are and the attention you receive." "Gee, you think!" I glared over to my right with a cocked eyebrow, mocking Nikki's declaration but quickly frowned, "Sorry Nic, I know you're trying to be serious". "Thanks." Nikki smiled slightly. "But it's like..." I shot my hands out in front of me as if grasping for some invisible object, but done merely out of frustration, "...it's like, I have to be in complete control and guys always seem to want to rush things and control things. I've only like kissed a couple of guys even can you believe that?" I looked over quickly at Nikki to check her reaction. "You don't believe me?" I smiled. "No, I really do, it's just you're a rarity." "You mean a freak?" I pinched my eyebrows together, my expression one of humor at my own expense as Nikki let a small laugh fly from her lips. "Oh Corbin, you are no freak." Nikki adjusted her position on the couch and gave her short black skirt a gentle tug as it began to ride up her creamy white thighs. "And I'm not gay," I quickly said, "If that's what you're thinking." "Hey!" Nikki smiled and had to look away, her eyes diverting down to her lap, "I never said anything about your sexual preferences." and waved her hands in the air as if casually dismissing the notion. "Oh yeah right, you were just building up to it." I smirked and rested back against the couch. "I just have very high standards when it comes to guys that's all." and I folded my arms across my chest, seemingly lost in thought. "You'll meet the right guy Corbin, someone out there will be your perfect match." Nikki smiled and soothingly rubbed my right forearm. "I know that sounds clichŽ." "No, actually it's nice to hear." I sighed. "You and your mom close? Do you two talk?" Nikki pried a little further. "Some, but she more or less talks 'at' me and my father plucks her last nerve by pushing me into sports, he loves the fact that 'his girl' is so strong while my mom wishes I would be more of a girly-girl. He's been so supportive, even saying that he has the best of both worlds by having a beautiful daughter that loves sports as much as he does." I suddenly look over to my right as if a new idea had sprouted in my head. "Look, I know allot of guys out there are okay and allot of they're antics are a front for their fragile egos underneath. But like I said, I just have high standards I'm not willing to settle for anything less then what 'I' want." Nikki studied my face for a minute. "Don't ever compromise that on anything or anyone." Nikki said seriously as her right hand came up and stroked my face, "It's your strength and it's what draws people to you, but don't let it make you into an island that's untouchable or unreachable." Nikki said quietly, her eyes stared long and hard and I was relieved that she seemed to understand me. I didn't know why, but I suddenly blushed and glanced away, maybe it was how sincere Nikki seemed to be combined with her soothing touch and serious comments. "Sorry, I don't mean to get all serious and philosophical on you." Nikki sighed. "No it's okay." I sighed and reached out with my left hand to briefly touch Nikki's retreating hand. "They're wonderful words of encouragement." I heard the door bell ring from upstairs and almost instantly my mom called out from the upstairs kitchen, "I'll get it!" But Nikki and I didn't even budge, we were still too wrapped up in our conversation. "I really appreciate you're..." I had just started to speak again when I was interrupted. "They're downstairs." I barely caught the conversation from the foyer and become distracted by who had just arrived. My heart leapt out of my chest when I saw Sharon descending down the stairs only to stop half way, her look of shock betrayed her as she tried to quickly withdraw it. "Well, I see I am interrupting." Sharon paused, her statement coming out with a slight irritation. "Sharon!" I bolted to a standing position from the couch, my face lighting up with a smile, "Come on down and stay awhile." I stepped around the coffee table but stopped after only a couple of steps as my smile faded. Sharon seemed perturbed about something. "Hello Nikki." Sharon said coldly and quickly looked back to me before the return 'Hello' could come out of Nikki's mouth. "Hello Sharon, nice to see you again." Nikki remained seated. "I can't stay, just wanted to speak with you, in private." Sharon began just about cutting off the end of Nikki's sentence. "Yeah, okay." I shrugged and followed Sharon back up the stairs, glancing over my right shoulder at Nikki as if I was clueless. "So what's up?" I asked in a cool but concerned manner, but Sharon didn't respond, she just kept walking till we were near the front door and obviously out of earshot. Quickly Sharon spun around, a bit dramatic but I was used to Sharon's drama by now and it didn't phase me. "Thanks a fucking lot for the phone call in return." Sharon made sure to keep her voice low, it almost came out sounding like a hiss. "What?" I was indeed shocked at how Sharon was confronting me like this. "I was going to call you back, what's the big deal, why are you so angry?" I tried to give a casual shrug. "Oh and I suppose you were going to make the time after your friendly chat with Nikki? Is that it?" Sharon huffed, struggling to keep her tone low but was having an even harder time reigning in her emotions. "This isn't the time." I said in my own low tone, my jaw line clenching. "We'll call me some time when you make the time." Sharon said closer to her normal tone and jerked the front door open, she was fast, moving out the front door before I could react. Quickly though, I was behind her able to catch Sharon on her left elbow, giving a tug. "Hey, wait just a second." My body tensed at the biter cold out on my parent's front porch. Sharon stopped and rolled her eyes as her body turned around. "I haven't done anything wrong, I haven't heard from you in days, maybe weeks and you call me out of the blue!" I pleaded. "Sharon I didn't even hear from you when we left campus and headed home, I had no idea what your plans were, I tried to call you but you kept telling me you were going to call me back." "I did!" Sharon snapped. I shut down and tuned out her out, I was no good at arguments and didn't understand the intricate politics of friendships. Especially when jealousy was involved. Sharon was watching me now with her deep blue eyes and I guess recognized the confusion and hurt on my face. I knew Sharon was in the wrong, and she probably did too, but I also knew that her ego wasn't about to let it go. "I have to go." Sharon said in a cold tone, but I wasn't like Sharon's other friends. Instead, I simply waved my left hand towards Sharon's parked car in the driveway, "Then go!" I think that threw Sharon for a minute. Reluctantly Sharon backed away and stepped down off the porch. While I was tongue tied and confused about everything going on, I could see something in Sharon's eyes, a look of longing that her pride kept from revealing. Maybe it was Nikki, but I wasn't going to get pulled into a tug of war over possession of my friendship between Nikki and Sharon, not that Nikki would engage in such manipulations, 'But Sharon most definitely Would, and is.' I thought. Robotically I turned to my right, my right hand gripped the icy cold door knob and while I was distraught over how things were left I wanted to get in out of this unusually bitter cold. I heard Sharon's shoes quickly fade down the sidewalk and figured there would be no last minute pleads of reconciliation. I had never had a close network of friends and didn't understand what Sharon's motives could be for trying to eliminate Nikki. Sharon had not outright indicated Nikki was the problem, but I can see the looks and her body language.' I peaked out the window and saw Sharon climb into her car, I felt sick to my stomach because I could tell she was crying by the way her hands were brushing at her cheeks. "Everything okay?" My mom appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, wiping her hands clean with a dishrag. "Yeah." I muttered in a distracted tone before heading down stairs. 'Don't start mom' I thought, feeling her eyes on me, studying me, her only child that often left her at a loss for words. I totally baffled my mother because she wasn't at all sure where I came from. My mom was average looking woman and both my parents had light brown hair, but nothing like the radiant blonde hair that I had inherited somewhere in the blood line and that wasn't all. I was growing up and my athletic pursuits were starting to show and a growing anxiety filled my mom most of all. My athletic build was more significant then any girl I know my mom had ever seen. Yet I know she prayed that I wasn't becoming fitness obsessed, wanting me to still retain my feminine features like the way I keep my hair long. "Something wrong?" Nikki stood up as my shoes touched down on the last step. "I don't know what's going on, or gotten into Sharon, she's so mad with me lately." I sighed, "We were pretty close, real close not long ago." I caught myself drifting off and by the time I came around Nikki was already right in front of me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders in a supportive hug. And I didn't say a thing, that's what I loved about Nikki, the long quiet moments where neither felt the need to chat. "Thanks Nic." I relaxed and returned the hug. "My god." Nikki pulled her head back and her fingers ran along my spine. "What?" I tensed as if something was wrong. "Corbin, I've never realized how defined you are, how muscular you are." Nikki ran her fingers up my back and around my shoulders, probing thru the layers of clothing as if she wanted to be sure. "Oh please!" I blushed and looked down to the ground, my shoulders slumping to further hide my physique. "No, I mean it!" Nikki took a step back while her hands continued to explore my shoulders and arms, "When you hugged me just now you felt solid as a rock. No wonder you plough thru girls on the soccer field." "Is everything going to be okay?" Nikki grip on my shoulder returned to being one of reassurance. "Uhm." I snapped back to the question, "Well I don't know." I sighed. "Supper's ready!" My mom shouted out and seemed to break the spell. Nikki didn't push any further. "Let's eat!" Nikki quickly perked up and tried to head things back to a lighter conversation. ********** I reached up into my closet and pulled out a sleeping bag, "Tonight, you sleep in my bed!" I figured that we could get away sleeping together in a double bed at least, but mine was a single, leaving little room for just one person. "Corbin please!" Nikki began to protest, but I wasn't listening to her and kept unrolling the sleeping bag. "It's no use protesting." I said as I unzipped the side of the fluffy sleeper. "Okay." Nikki mumbled to herself and got ready for bed. I didn't know why I had become so giddy and excited about Nikki's visit, it was only about a week ago I was stressed out about how close we were getting physically, but it just felt too damn good right now to worry about any of that. I was pretty sure Nikki was still awake later that night, I couldn't see her face from where I was laying down on the floor, so I wasn't sure. "Nic?" I whispered. "What's up?" Nic whispered back. "So, like, what's on your mind? I mean you've been sort of quiet since you got here, everything okay with you and Rob?" Rob being Nikki's boyfriend. "Yeah, we're still seeing each other." Nikki said in a somewhat monotone voice. I couldn't take the suspense, it was killing me and I sat up, quickly enough that it almost seemed to cause Nikki to jump a little bit. "You can tell me!" I said in the faintest whisper while I propped my body up with my arms. My eyes had adjusted enough to see that Nikki's hand was now peeking out from underneath the covers, her index finger motioning for me to come closer. Yet Nikki still didn't say a word and the long shadows kept me from seeing my friend's expression. "What?" I nervously smiled and sat up some more, but Nikki kept slowly beckoning with a hand gesture, wanting me to come closer. "What?" I asked again in the softest whisper I could muster as I slid my legs out from under the sleeping bag and crawled hesitantly to the edge of the bed. "I want you to come over here!" Nikki said in her own soft, low voice, but it included a slight sarcastic tone as if I would only find out when I got closer. Now my heart was pounding, I was nervous about whatever Nikki was calling me closer for, and prayed that she wasn't about to reveal some horrible news. But I couldn't help it and my face got evidently tense with concern, "Nikki, your making me very nervous, what's wrong?" I pleaded, propping my elbows on the edge of my bed. "Sorry." Nikki smiled, "I'm not trying to make you nervous, I'm just being silly that's all." "Silly?" I smiled with a nervous chuckle, "That's okay." "I just didn't want to keep whispering back and forth, better if we talk closer I think." Nikki said and hesitated again, "I would like it if you would just lay here for a minute." "Only if you promise to tell me what's bothering you." I smiled devilishly and watched as Nikki raised her right arm, the heavy blanket seemed to float in the air and hold position. I crawled up under the blanket and adjusted myself but it was rather difficult in that it was a single bed and the full length of my body brushed up against Nikki's. The only thing that was slightly uncomfortable was the way our bare legs touched from the top of our thighs down to our toes. It felt good actually, both of our legs were smooth and shaven and more importantly very warm. My eyes blinked and adjusted to the close proximity of Nikki's face, so close I could even feel my friend's breath on my face, yet there was a comfort in the closeness and a sense of security, something I had in fact enjoyed with Sharon on occasion. It was really no big deal I had decided. "Okay, what's up?" I said with a smile of anticipation. "Close your eyes." Nikki said. My eyelids narrowed suspiciously but I slowly narrowed them until they were indeed shut, but it was so damn dark that it was almost not necessary. "What are you up too?" I sighed as I felt Nikki's right hand move under the covers, closer to my head and it wasn't long before I felt a fingertip lightly graze my chin. "Shhhh and hold still." Nikki said, the tone in her voice serious. I smiled a little more but more so out of anxiety as a warm palm came to rest on my left cheek. The touch was soothing and comforting, but what happened next made my entire body tense, my lips felt something warm and soft as a tingle shot down my spine igniting a warmth in the pit of my stomach that grew, spreading out over my entire body. Needless to say, my eyes did not stay closed and fluttered quickly open as my head jerked, but not necessarily in any specific direction. More so it seemed to snap me out of my comfortable haze. The lingering touch was now gone and only Nikki's smiling face was looking at my perplexed and somewhat shocked expression. "What did you do?" I gasped. "Please don't be mad at me." Nikki tried to maintain a smile as she looked for sympathy. "No, I'm not mad, I'm just wondering." I could barely bring myself to say what I suddenly realized had just happened and my heart was now hammering violently in my chest. "I'm sorry, I should have asked your permission first, but I wanted to feel..." and Nikki took a deep breath, a breath that was done to keep her composure because she appeared to become a bit emotional. "...what it was like to kiss you!" She blurted that out like it was physically painful to speak. When those words came from my friend's mouth I just about fainted, my chest swelled as I began to breathe harder. Another girl had just kissed my on the lips, although it was more of light peck then a real kiss. "Why?" I croaked out nervously, my body paralyzed with fear not only from the tension that seemed to suddenly materialize between us but from a warm feeling that had started in the pit of my stomach and now made me flush in the most private of areas. "Don't worry, I was just seeing what it felt like, I don't go around doing this, you must believe me, but I must admit I wondered what it would be like to kiss another girl. But you're the first and only one I've ever had such a strong urge to do 'that' with" Nikki was blushing now, while I realized a trembling in my legs and arms. Oddly, I felt flattered, mainly because I believed her, "I'm just a bit Shocked, I think I should be offended." I nervously smiled but rolled my eyes, "I don't know." "Please tell me, I just did something very risky and need to know how you feel about it, if I've jeopardized our friendship in some way maybe?" Nikki began to softly stroke my left cheek. "Oh Nikki no not at all please don't worry." I urgently pleaded and couldn't believe that my girlfriend was getting so upset. Indeed, Nikki tried for a second to calm herself, but suddenly her chest convulsed as she silently wept, turning her head to the left until it was buried into the pillow almost totally out of sight. "Oh Nikki please don't cry its okay." I pulled her close and kissed her head, "Everything's okay." "I'm sorry, I just was curious that's all, I'm not freaking out on you." She sighed, appearing to calm down as I embraced her. "Talk to me." Nikki whispered as we withdrew from our embrace. My eyes closed and remained closed, perhaps for only a few seconds but it felt like minutes. "I'm just scared, that's all." I sighed with the briefest smile. "No, please no." Nikki groaned, "Don't be, I take full responsibility, it's my fault." "No more apologies." I said, this time seriously without the hint of a smile. "I'm scared too." Nikki's voice trembled out and we locked eyes for several seconds, no smiles, no distractions. It felt like an inferno under the blanket and there was no mistaking the pounding of our hearts, sometimes in unison it seemed. I watched Nikki tilt her head and my eyes narrowed in response, trying to block from my mind what she wanted, but I relaxed when I knew what Nikki was asking for and I almost cried when I realized I just might like to feel it again, 'I'm such a novice.' I thought, not knowing how to reciprocate Nikki's gesture and simply placed my tongue between my lips to wet them, they felt so dry. Nikki's right hand found and began to stroke my left forearm ever so gently as my left hand stroked thru the black strands of her hair that seemed to flow like a dark river from Nikki's beautiful head. We exchanged sleepy glances as we nervously allowed fingers to explore one another's hair, cheeks and arms. I didn't know why, but I felt like I needed to reassure Nikki again, and whispered "It's okay." She smiled, but maybe it was a sad smile, at least that was how I interpreted it although Nikki responded with a heartfelt "Thank you." "Tell me again, why did you want to kiss me?" I asked and thought I might die of embarrassment but wanted to say or do something that might help the moment along, 'Help it along to where?' I wondered. Even though the light from outside was faint, I swore I could make out the blush in Nikki's cheeks, the question put her on the spot. "Well." Nikki sighed and cleared her throat as my right hand continued to twirl and stroke her hair. "I guess, actually no," Nikki looked away and back up. "I don't 'guess' I 'know' its your soul, so kind and innocent that drew me in as a friend, a friend that looked at you tonight and saw something so sensual in your..." She paused as her right thumb gently caressed the outline of my lower lip and chin. "I'm a very sensual person Corbin, I think you know this." Indeed, I started to see the 'old Nikki' coming thru, that incredible sultry confidence that first drew the two of us together. "And I don't physically connect with just anyone and never..." Nikki's eyes suddenly looked up and found me staring back, "...never with another woman." Nikki studied me and realized I was hanging on her every word now, or maybe even her every action. I felt Nikki's thumb withdraw from my lower lip and gasped when she extended her tongue and licked her thumb. My heart felt like it might explode from my very chest as I clamped my inner thighs tightly together with what I felt next. Gently, Nikki took her spit coated thumb and caressed the saliva over my lips while whispering; "They're so soft." I felt frozen in time and summoned every bit of courage I could and slid my head over the pillow a couple of inches until my lips touched Nikki's, but I didn't kiss her, the trembling in my body seemed to make the simplest actions impossible, but I did squeak out an "I'm scared" as my trembling mouth touched against hers. "So am I." Nikki moaned back into my mouth. I never imagined a kiss like this, my whole body suddenly was on fire and awake. Just a few minutes ago I was on the verge of sleep, now I was awake, alive and found myself almost crying when my body responded to the way Nikki kissed me. 'I'm kissing another girl!' My mind swooned and found Nikki's tongue to be soft, sensual and highly erotic as it mingled with my own. I felt my pussy contract and a dampness filling my vagina, so much that there was an unmistakable wetness spreading thru my panties. I must be doing this right as I felt a moan slip past Nikki's mouth and into my own, a little wider I opened and almost instantly Nikki's tongue was there, exploring my mouth at will. Most sensual of all was how our tongues could explore and intertwine with one another, mostly in a slow lazy manner. We were now clutching one another under the covers, so anxiety filled that our fists gripped and pulled our shirts, almost to the point of ripping. I felt Nikki pull, forcing me closer against her body. "Oh NikkiÉ" I moaned as I pulled my mouth away, but Nikki didn't stop, she moved her tongue and lips down over my chin and neck, nibbling and licking at my sweat coated skin, "This is overwhelming." I rolled onto my back and writhed under covers, trying to understand what was happening. It was amazing, she climbed on top of my body, like some predator, snuggling her body tightly against me as we held and embraced one another, leg's intertwining with each other and we softly kissed each other's neck. "Oh Corbin, what have we done?" Nikki moaned into my neck. "I don't know." I blinked back to reality and stared up at the ceiling as my friend lay on top of my, our kissing having subsided. Still dressed in panties and nightshirts, we paused in the moment, each apparently reflecting on what line we had just crossed. "Just hold me." she sighed and stroked my hands down Nikki's back. Nikki smiled and gave me a strong embrace as we lay silently amongst the dark shadows of my room, neither of us speaking again. I blinked my eyes, no longer able to keep the morning sun from interrupting. The covers were discarded during the night as we both lay on my bed, our bodies still slightly entangled although we had both shifted some. I leaned up and saw my bare left leg draped over Nikki's right leg, our actions from last night suddenly came flooding back and I glanced over at my door as a thought of my mom walking in suddenly to the sight of her daughter and girlfriend embracing each other in the bed. I almost panicked at the thought but resisted springing from bed like a maniac, especially when Nikki stirred next to my, 'At least we still have our underwear and nightshirts on.' I thought. I went to sit up, but she pulled me back down for a brief kiss and I smiled as it brought back the memories from last night, but the stress of what we had done caused my smile to quickly fade. "Going to shower." I sighed and pulled away from Nikki's clutches. Nikki didn't invite herself nor did I expect it to go that far. Things maybe had gone too far already. Nikki watched me stand and walk towards the door, smiling at the way I self-consciously tugged on my nightshirt, making sure it covered my butt, which its length obviously did. I was thankful for the hot water that blasted down over me, I stood motionless under the spray while trying to block out everything that had happened. I teetered between wanting to yell at Nikki with anger for tempting me last night and then again, I also wanted to plead and cry on her shoulder for more of the same because it did tap into a secretly hidden place that I had never shared with another soul. Not even a boy, last night was the most sexual thing I had ever done with another person and it excited me, it also scared my that it excited me more then fantasying about being with a boy. 'Fucking tongue tied again.' I sighed in my mind as I entered my room and exchanged an uneasy glance with Nikki who was collecting her things for her own quick shower. "Huh!" I stiffened when I felt Nikki grip my left bicep. I guess Nikki could read the tension and fear in my eyes and took the initiative, "Sit down please, I want to tell you something." I let out a slight sigh and nodded, "I know, we need to talk about last night." and already I could feel the butterflies filling my tummy as I rummaged my left hand over my long blonde hair. "More then that, we need to find our way back to our friendship." Nikki said following me to the edge of the bed. I sat down and took a deep breath as Nikki kneeled down in front of me. "I wish I knew what to say Corbin, that I have some answers for what happened last night, but please don't stress yourself out over it and believe me when I say I am not playing mind games with you. I'm in uncharted territory as well." Nikki pleaded. The sad look in Nikki's big dark eyes broke my heart and instantly helped to break the silence. "Oh Nic." I whispered and smiled slightly, trying to be reassuring I also raised my left hand and caressed Nikki's right cheek something that did make Nikki smile. "Don't carry all the worries on this one, I was right there and would never think of doubting our friendship. I trust you and hope you can trust me." I sighed and my eyes darted to the open door, which Nikki quickly sprang to her feet and closed, locking as she came back to the bed where I sat, sitting next to me as our hands reached for and found one another. "Tell me." Nikki whispered my face, close to my left cheek. I turned a little and my eyes glanced up, they could be intense when my face was flushed, like now, something that caught Nikki off guard, those sharp hazel eyes of mine. "It felt nice Nic." I couldn't believe it, I just about choked on the word 'nice' and the tears started down my cheeks as I let out a few sobs. Nikki pulled my head over onto her right shoulder and firmly held me, letting me rest my head for a few minutes. I pulled away from Nikki's shoulder to finally speak, "I don't know why it upset me so much to say that." I smiled and nervously looked down at the floor. "It's hard sometimes, to admit how we feel about something. Sometimes it's even harder to put it into words." Nikki gently stroked my damp hair that ran down over my shoulders. Leaning in she kissed me on my left cheek and I felt the warm flush return, instantly I turned my head to the left, my eyes were closed and Nikki sensed what I wanted, our lips touched again and soon our mouths were open, searching and complimenting one another. "Ohhhh I love the taste of your mouth on mine, your tongue in my mouth." Nikki moaned and I couldn't believe what she was saying, it was just so fucking hot! "Nikki." I groaned repeatedly, "Why do I love kissing you so much?" "GIRLS!" My mom yelled from the downstairs kitchen causing us to scramble apart, gasping. Nikki running for the door and down the hall to the bathroom as I lunged for a brush on my nightstand, quickly pulling it thru my hair. "What's up mom?" I nervously yelled back. "Breakfast is almost ready!" "Okay." I said back and set the brush down on the dresser. "Get a grip." as my right hand came up and touched my heavy breast, noticing my nipples were so hard they made imprints right thru my bra and shirt. ********** "Okay, I'll see you at School." Nikki smiled as I walked her to the car. "Drive safe, okay?" I sighed and gripped Nikki's hand. "Will do." Nikki replied returning my grip. "Look Nic, I don't know what to make of all of this, I mean, I don't think." I stammered a bit as Nikki climbed into the Driver's seat. I knelt down next to the door as Nikki rolled her window down. "I understand Corbin, I don't want to over analyze this either. We're good friends and well, I don't know, there's a spark between us I guess." Both of us blushed and I had to look away at the reference to that physical connection. "I like that word 'spark'." I said and sheepishly looked up at Nikki and we stared for a second, studying each other's expressions. I glanced around, looking back at my house and then at the neighbors. Nikki picked up on what I was scoping out for making sure they we were alone and my heart began to throb in my chest, hoping. I couldn't believe it, I was now taking the initiative! ME! The shy one! And I leaned in the window and Nikki smiled as our lips met, the kiss was brief but satisfying as we moved our lips gently over one another exhaling sighs of pleasure that the touch brought. I pulled away and smiled, "That was nice." I no longer cared that Nikki was a girl, because it was all too perfect, the contour of our lips seemed to mold perfectly against one another and our mouths complimented each other in ways that could only be described as natural. "Very nice." Nikki glanced up with that sultry look. "It'll be hard to focus on school and boys when we get back." I sighed, stuffing my hands into my jean pockets as I backed away from the car. Nikki shook her head in agreement, "Very hard, but we'll be okay." I stood still, and for a moment never felt the chilly wind that was blowing into my face as I watched Nikki's car pull away. As I turned with a wave, my heart sank with the realization that I still needed to do some mending with my friendship with Sharon and that for the first time I would have to keep a secret from Sharon about my intimate connection with Nikki. "Damn." I mumbled to myself as I shut the front door, shaking off the cold. "How did things get so confusing so fast?"